Dear Wii (An Ode)

When we first met

You made me wet
But now my love has changed.
You're overhyped
You're more than flawed
And you're slightly deranged.

Though let me say
That I had fun;
Once more we shall unite.
But it will be
on christmas eve
and play from dawn to night.

For mister xbox 
with his charms
forever mine will be.
so listen, wii,
and listen well
it's really you, not me.


Just what I needed

Original Story see HERE.

We've all done it. The "hello, sharon? i think we should get back together... well yeah i've been hittin' the sauce... well at least i can vote!" *slam* (If you're not familiar with derrick humor, please watch below).

Our Friendly nieghborhood gmail has a solution for us. 

That's right. after a certain time of your choice, you can program your computer to ask you to complete math functions before sending that email. (E.G.  "HEY UR AN ASSHOLE GIV ME MY SHRIT BACK ASSEOHL" "to send this message, please solve for X". ~ Vaxadrin) However, It is my opinion that this feature would be much more useful for phones. Hopefully I will gain enough knowledge to rip this program and install it on my cell. Until then, I will start sending late night messages solely to have a reason to install this program.

I would fight Ghandi

Things to remember when going to college:

1) Everyone's still a fish in a pond. 
2) The sun will come up tomorrow, probably faster than you might think it will
3) in fact, it probably IS tomorrow, so finish that essay and go to bed ASAP
4) The freshmen really are toys 
5) Your professor can be your best friend or your colonoscopist. There is no middle ground.
6) You will see everyone again. Somewhere. Someday. And probably sober.
7) Picking a major can wait. Laundry cannot.
8) Eating well is like brushing your teeth; it's tedious, annoying, but definitely worth it in the long run.
9) There is no such thing as being underdressed. you're either clothed, or not clothed.
10) Mac users do it better. "do what?" you ask? everything.
11) Don't buy books unless it's a math book. You can bullshit everything else.
12) Undergrads have more fun. Grad students get more done. 
13) You're never the first one to do anything, and never the last, either. So enjoy what you do.
14) Clean underwear is not optional. It's mandatory. Wash your fucking clothes.

Are You Trying to Save My Soul?

Favorite Flavors (in no particular order)

1) Cinnamon (obviously)
2) Lemon-lime anything 
3) Pineapple, in sweet and sour rice
4) Cherry chapstick
5) Celery, after Djarum Blacks
6) Pistachio ice cream
7) Black licorice
8) Agave syrup
9) Peppermint hardcandies
10) Coconut, on peanut butter-covered dates
11) Strawberry milkshakes
12) The blood of my enemies! <---FOR THE WINNNN! lol.

Sarah the Dancer

Things I feel like I need to do and am okay with doing:
1) Nuke my room and its messy-ness
2) Save the world from itself
3) Grow a plant (and not kill it)
4) illustrate a silent graphic novel
5) Change my desktop background
6) Quit my job for the fourth time
7) Smuggle a kitten into my house
8) Learn italian gooder
9) Dedicate something worth dedicating to someone worth dedication
10) Stay up to watch the August Cosmic Showers
11) Sleep more
12) Write a novel that's less than 50 pages
13) Download Photoshop
14) Learn how to use photoshop
15) Accomplish this list

Goonies Never Say Die

Sounds I could live without

1) Dripping faucets
2) Panic-at-the-Fallout-Confessional bands
3) Cars burning rubber
4) Stero feedback
5) Blenders filled with ice
6) Ballons losing air
7) Television background noise
8) Doorbells
9) "THUMP-draaaaag.... THUMP-draaaaag..." <----scary.
10) Screaming children