Valentine's Day and Venereal Disease have the same initials.
By W0lfbl1tzers 4 Comments
Aren't I clever (This would not fit in the title.)
I hate Valentine's day. I always have. It started out as an anti-consumerism that some teenagers go through but, like a select few, have realized that's part of your life and just moved on. I hate in on an entirely different level. It's designated romance day and that's not alright. Is romance all that hard? Is it so mind bending that stuffed bear seems like a good present? I mean really? A stuffed animal? Is your girlfriend/wife four? Is she an idiot? Does she have a fetish for them? No? Then put it back you insufferable imbecile.
I take umbrage with the fact that most people find that jewelry is somehow romantic. Are people so emotionally detached that shiny things make us more in love with another person? Are we that shallow? I know that my teenage rooted hated is coming back up but with good reason. I thought that it meant someone cared when they sat down and had a conversation with you. When they asked you how your day was. When they generally put thought into a gift. Jewelry is easy. You find the shiny thing that's shinier than everything else and you buy it. That's no fun. That's not romantic. That's lazy. Even flowers are incredibly simple. You know what would be great? Finding out who her favorite author is and buying they're next book without a hint being dropped. Try it. And guess what, it doesn't have to be just Valentine's day. You could do it on a Tuesday in the middle of August. Make her dinner. Don't know how to cook? Practice. Take her shopping so that she can pick out an outfit that she thinks would look good on you. Does that sound crazy?
“But Myckel, how would that make her happy?” I'm glad you asked. She would like to dress you up. I don't mean to say that she thinks you dress poorly on a regular basis but there are things that she would like to see you in that aren't in you normal wardrobe. Every women has a dream outfit that they would like to see they're partner in. It sounds sexist as hell and is, but it's true. Bust it out every once in a while.
“What about those who have squeezed all that we can get out?” Clean the house while she's out. Again, making dinner is perfect. Just show a little initiative. Try. That's it. You'll get it eventually. It may not be on your first or even tenth try but you'll get it.
The point I am trying to make is that it isn't necessary to make a big stink about it on one day out of the year. It's best if you understate it as much as possible. Tell her it wasn't a big deal. It shouldn't be. Do it all of the time. Don't ever leverage it as “Hey look at this sweet thing I did for you, what do you have for me?” . If you care enough this shouldn't be so hard. Fuck Valentine's day.
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