Well, the very first time I got drink, I think I had too many jello shots because I thought they were regular jello, and then I tried to reason with this girl I liked that we should just make out because it's not a huge deal. Luckily she told me to shut the fuck up.
The most drunk I've ever been was when this girl I was friends with sneaked a bottle of Old Crow in her purse into the movies, and we drank the whole thing while watching Ghostbusters. I ended up waking up the next morning, puking in the shower, going to work, asking that same girl to put makeup on me to cover all the blood-vessels under my eyes that had burst from puking too hard, and then not eating for, like, two days.
Basically, my advice is: sometimes you just need to get drunk.