So, after my last blog post about how horrible Call of Duty Black Ops (from this point on refered to as Blops) is as a game, I was a little hesitant to continue playing. But today I figured "Ah, what the hell. It can't possibly get any worse, right?"
The game answered swiftly and with great confidence: yes, it can and will get worse. The next mission, which was the first Vietnam mission of the game, is fucking horrible. Pardon my French, but it just is. It's 2010, I thought we were past this point in games and were finally able to make some decent games that are engaging and fun to play. I guess Treyarch feels different and has taken several steps back to ensure that Blops will never be any fun.
So now I'm just going to be a little bitch and write down my experiences with Blops as I play it. These posts will be long and there will be lots of swearing and general anger from my side. I will try to keep the (big) spoilers to a minimum and just focus on the gameplay/game design aspect of the game from here on out. If you are a fan of Blops or don't like reading long slabs of text, I suggest you stop reading this post right... about... now! If you like actual games and can't be bothered to actually play this crap, follow me on my magical adventures in Blops!
Edit: Since I posted this in my last post, I should also post it here: I am a huge CoD fan and a professional game designer. Most of my complaints come from my experience and education creating and playing games. I don't *hate* CoD by default. And before this backfires and becomes 'a thing', I should also add that these are my personal opinions. I do not represent anyone else, least of all the company I work for.
Charlie don't die
I left off at the Vietnam mission last time. This mission starts with me in a tent. Woods (the character I've been following around for pretty much every mission up until now) shows up. My character gets walked to a jeep, I have no control over what's happening. We ride around for a while, during which Woods explains things I don't understand nor see the importance of. Suddenly, an explosion! OH NO! The jeep gets knocked over and our other buddy gets flung out of it. Woods and I pick the guy up and drag him to a trench. Again, I have no control over this. My character gets walked to the trench by the game itself. Now Woods fucks off and I have to drag the unconscious dude through the trench on my own. I can't move backwards or sideways, only forwards. Great. I reach the end of the trench and drop the unconscious dude on the floor and PRESTO! He magically feels ok within a second and gets up and runs away. Right... In the next section, which wasn't all that exciting, Woods and the other dude run ahead. At one point I lit a cigarette (in real life, not in the game) while I was in a safe spot, so my character was standing still. I noticed that Woods and the other dude were shooting a lot. So I stood still and watched them. They literally played the same shooting animation for about 2 minutes, without reloading, moving or saying a word to me. It was very, very awkward. This could have been done a bit better in my opinion. The second I approach them, they snap out of the shooting animation and run away. Whatever.
Now, the real fun starts. We get to the top of a hill. Below are a bunch of NVA soldiers shooting at us. My mission says:"Push back the NVA". Alright, I can do that. At least it doesn't say "Follow Woods". So a checkpoint appears in the level at the bottom of the hill, near a trench. Ok... So am I supposed to push back the NVA or get to the checkpoint? I decide to slowly work my way down. Woods and Hudson (the miraculously healed unconscious dude from before) are already one level down so I join them. There are NVA everywhere around. And they are all shooting at... wait for it... ME! All of them! I take out as many as I can, but they respawn. Forever. And they don't just randomly throw in some new enemy. No, they run up from the bottom of the hill and stand in the exact same spot as the enemy I just killed. Is this really the best Treyarch can do? Infinitely re-spawning enemies that run up to the same spot every goddamn time?
Ok, so the infinite respawn means, in my experience with the Call of Duty games, that you just push forward until you reach the checkpoint. So I go down one more level on the hill. Everybody still keeps respawning around me. Woods and Hudson at least follow me down a level and are now the only friendly soldiers around. We're standing behind some medium cover. This means if I crouch, I can't see over it but I also can't be hit from the front. I have to stand up to shoot over the cover. Woods and Hudson are both standing up, are not moving and keep yelling the same phrase over and over again:"Enemy by the trench". Yeah, I know, Woods. I've shot the same exact enemy about 30 times now. But thanks for calling it out. I should also add that in addition to standing in the same spot, not moving, being shot at and not dying, both Woods and Hudson are also NOT. FUCKING. SHOOTING! Not once did they shoot an enemy. Even the ones that were out in the open right in front of them. So I am literally the only one shooting enemies and they keep infinitely respawning. At this point I am at a loss for words. But I have to keep going because this game has to have some redeeming quality at some point, right?
So I decide that the game probably wants me to straight up RUN towards the checkpoint, at which point the enemies will magically stop respawning and I can continue. So I book it down the hill. Only death awaits me because again, everyone in the level is shooting at ME and nobody is shooting at them. Fucking awesome. I respawn aaaaaaaaaaaaall the way back at the top of the hill. Goddamnit! Ok, no more mr. Nice Guy. I drop my M60 and assault rifle and pick up a grenade launcher and shotgun. That should do it, right? Wrong. The reload is too long so I die within seconds. This goes on for about 20 minutes. I keep dying because this mission is fucking stupid. Let me make this clear: I can not run to a spot on the map where enemies keep infinitely respawning while my AI buddies refuse to shoot anyone and literally every enemy in the level is shooting at me. This is stupid. It's a stupid thing to ask of the player and it is an even stupider way of designing this level. Woods' only advice to me is "We have to improvise" (Really, how?), "Let's blow em all to hell!" (That will be easier if you start shooting, Woods) and "Now, Mason, now!" (Mason is me, and I was blowing people to hell at the time). I am REALLY frustrated with the game at this point and am seriously considering turning it off and just watching whatever the hell is on tv. Or jabbing a pencil in my ear, whichever feels the most comforting. But I shall press on! I will not let this game beat me!
Tenacious me!
So through sheer luck and tenacity, I finally make it down the hill in one piece and find a spot with enough cover to take out the enemies that are shooting at me. Now I have apparently 'made it' and Woods and Hudson decide that their picknick has lasted long enough and join me at the bottom of the hill. So, what I have done now is spend about 30 to 45 minutes shooting, swearing, dying, exploring the map to see if I'm just an idiot and I missed something and running towards the same spot like a moron (while swearing and shooting). FUN TIMES, YAY! I should add that in this map where I am supposed to run at one specific spot like a moron, the level designers took the time to add 4 bunkers that are useless, tons of cover that only helps the enemy and a trench at the bottom that makes the enemies harder to hit. But I made it! Victory! Onward, to the next section! It can only get better, right?
Wrong again. I am starting to think that this game is never actually going to get fun or good. Now, we are at the bottom of the next hill and we have to go up the hill. See what they did there, that's totally different from going down a hill. A checkpoint appears on the map and for a second I see red. They couldn't possibly... Did they...? Yep, they did. Infinitely respawning enemies. But now I'm going UP a hill and the hill is covered in trees and fox holes for the enemy to hide in or behind. I don't know if anyone knows this, but when fighting on a hill, the army that is shooting down always has the advantage. Add to that the infinite respawn and trees for cover and I am boned.
I am not going to describe what happens next, but it wasn't fun. It was quicker than going down the hill because now I knew what horrible level design there is in this mission but it was about as much fun. And again, Hudson and Woods stood at the top of the hill, out in the open, yelling at me, not shooting anybody, not dying and just being assholes. And then, when you get to the top of the hill, *SPOILER ALERT!* they make you do the exact same thing that Modern Warfare 1 ended with! *SPOILER ALERT OVER!* Come the fuck on, Treyarch! REALLY?! For fuck's sake!
*MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT!* So I fall down, because I am the best soldier in the world, right, JFK? And Woods is a moron and attack somebody with a jammed weapon. He gets knocked down and the NVA he was attacking is about to shoot him. Magically, I have a revolver which I swear I didn't have before. So now I have to aim and shoot the NVA soldier before he shoots Woods. I have to admit, I let the NVA soldier shoot Woods the first time. I just wanted to see Woods die. So after that very emotional moment for me, I shoot the NVA soldier the second time. Woods gets up and RUNS AWAY! He literally doesn't say ANY-FUCKING-THING! Nothing. He just takes off. No "Hey Mason, thanks for saving my ass" or even a "Fuck, that was a close one". NOTHING! He takes off and my mission is now "Follow Woods". AAAAAAAAARGH! This was the fucking easiest moment so far to have a tiny bit of character development or emotion or bonding between this character that has been in almost every mission so far and there's nothing! How the fuck do you justify that as the game designer or level designer or script writer who is responsible for this? That is just fucking horrible!
Now we go through a tunnel and come to a fairly large area with a jeep. Woods tells me to get in the jeep. But, as I have noticed, whenever Woods tells me to do something and I don't do it, the game breaks. So I refuse and stand in the same spot. Nothing happens. The NVA in the background are shooting wildly at random things but never seem to hit anything. Hmmm... I wonder... So I shot a group of 4 NVA soldier in the distance. And lo and behold, 4 NVA soldiers spawn and run to the exact same spots where their fallen comrades have just died. So I shoot those 4 guys. And... 4 new ones spawn to take their place. And they don't just spawn off camera and run up, they fucking pop out of thin air at the back of the level and run to their assigned positions. Ugh, really? I know I'm really nitpicking right now but this happens a lot in Blops: when I don't do exactly what the game tells me, it takes me all of 5 seconds to expose how lazily this has been made. And you can say "Well, do what the game tells you then!", which is what I should do but Blops makes this too easy. And, I should add, this is a mission where Woods drives the jeep around and I shoot tanks. It doesn't even really matter if those guys respawn or not, especially if I haven't even gotten into the jeep yet.
This dragon needs a mint!
The next mission, surprisingly, is pretty goddamn awesome! Finally! This is where they introduce the infamous flamethrower shotgun, called the Dragon's Breath, which rocks! It still has the killing power of a shotgun but the reach (and fire) of a flamethrower. I haven't seen any weapon like that in a game before so at least that was refreshing and fun to play around with. Woods is back for this mission but I get to take point. Immediately I feel like I am in charge and it's a lot more fun. Woods isn't constantly running in front of me with 'Follow' over his head. I get to clear rooms, shoot lots of guys and feel like a bad-ass. The mission starts off inside a building but takes to the streets pretty quickly. There's plenty of variation in gameplay as you take out soldiers, tanks and defend a position. Finally the type of mission I expect and enjoy from Call of Duty. Maybe there is still some hope for Blops.
Story, schmory!
Sadly, I still don't know what the fuck is going on with the story. They keep throwing new concepts at me (now there's a defector and something called Nova 6) and introducing new names that mean nothing to me. The story is all over the place and the writing is cliché and clunky. This is where the decision to make the story all flashbacks breaks everything. If you use flashbacks, make sure you connect them clearly instead of making them setpieces that happen to share the same characters.
But this article is getting too long and I enjoyed that mission so much I don't want to ruin it with a potentially shitty mission so that's it for today. I need a drink and a smoke after all that.
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