The Giant Bomb Xtreme Girl Advice Line

This is the official thread for the Giant Bomb Xtreme Girl Advice Line, hosted by users @wrighteous86 and @duskvamp! You've got relationship questions, we've got relationship answers.

Contact Us:

Write us or send an audio message to GiantBombXGAL@gmail.com or send either of us a PM on Giant Bomb with XGAL as the subject line.

Listen In:

You can get our RSS feed here, or subscribe to us on the iTunes Music Store (Giant Bomb Xtreme Girl Advice Line).

Thanks for listening!

Latest Episode:

July 2013

In this episode, John and Dawn delve into bachelor parties, strippers, Bioshock: Infinite, Tomb Raider, The Walking Dead, Donkey Kong Country Returns, and Guacamelee!

Then, they answer questions about how to approach women, dealing with an ex with mutual friends, and how to kiss. Click here to play in your browser.

Special thanks to @myketuna and A B for writing in.

146 Comments
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Posted by TooWalrus

...relationships are for jerks?

Just kiddin'. I'll download this afternoon and listen to it while cookin' or something.

Edited by AlexanderSheen

That is one great intro song you guys got there. Also, the upcoming podcasts will have game talk in them too or it's just a one time thing? I think this format is good as it is, after all, this is a video game website.

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Edited by Wrighteous86

@alexandersheen: Thanks, it's an oldie but a goodie from the Giant Bomb forums.

Yeah, we'll probably always include Watcha Been Playing, discussing what we're up to individually and together. Probably get a bit more in depth in the future too, since we won't have to do intros or explain who we are.

Thanks for the comment!

Posted by super2j

Before I even listen to this ( I will do so mind you). I need to make a suggestion. You need a wacky third person. In general I believe 3 or more make the best audio. I have trouble with two people, but then again maybe you two are the exception to the rule. Alternatively, maybe solve this by getting guests from the community everyweek.

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Edited by Jams

@duskvamp you have a great voice! Don't tell that creep boyfriend of yours but you're a natural and it's easy listening to you. I hope you get over your fear of public speaking because if you like the idea of doing it, you sound good so there's nothing to really be worried about there. (Unlike me, I imagine myself sounding like a frog getting stepped on even though I've been told otherwise). I've never liked talking over chat programs like vent or mumble because of it.

@wrighteous86 You need a better microphone or something. You guys are moving in together right? I think the quality will shoot up if you decide to keep doing these podcasts and not do them over skype. I'm curious how your back and forth would be if you could see each other in the same room.

I think you guys could have something, but I've only listened to about half of the podcast. I think I could like it on a regular basis. I feel like it needs to be tad more structured, but other than that I liked it so far.

Gonna go to work now. I'll listen to the rest when I get back.

GOOD JOB GUYS!

Posted by Humanity

I'd suggest using real names, or make up fake names, but it's awkward hearing you say "Duskvamp"

Also as Jams mentioned, your mic quality is not as great but hers is really crisp.

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Posted by super2j

@super2j said:

Before I even listen to this ( I will do so mind you). I need to make a suggestion. You need a wacky third person. In general I believe 3 or more make the best audio. I have trouble with two people, but then again maybe you two are the exception to the rule. Alternatively, maybe solve this by getting guests from the community everyweek.

you guys are giggling a little too much... but I am sure that's first time jitters. But its pretty good.

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Edited by Wrighteous86

Yeah, it's a bit disorganized and giggly at first, but I think we get into something of a groove once we start answering questions. We'll probably be a lot more comfortable and ready if we do another one.

And yeah, my microphone caused a lot of problems, I'll probably have to figure something out with that before we go again. Thanks guys!

Long term maybe we can have other users come on with questions, or send us recorded questions, things like that.

Posted by Video_Game_King

First off: how long is it? I'd like to know that much before potentially downloading it.

Edited by Wrighteous86
Posted by DuskVamp

@super2j: We actually have thought of having guest speakers, so it's something we'll look into.

@jams: Thank you :) I've always worried I sound like a child and really nervous. I have a lot of trouble articulating my thoughts, that's why I "ummm" and pause all the time. Hopefully this will help with that and I'll find it easier in future.

@humanity: We were going back and forth over using our real names or not, I just thought people would know him as Wrighteous, but next time we'll probably use our real names. Yeah we need to get him a better mic, thank my Turtle Beaches for that.

@super2j: It was first time jitters, sorry. I can't promise I won't keep giggling, it's my nervous reaction, but I'll try work on it.

Posted by Jams
Posted by Carryboy

YO HOW DO I GET DA GURLS!!!!!!??????????

Edited by super2j

@duskvamp said:

@super2j: We actually have thought of having guest speakers, so it's something we'll look into.

@super2j: It was first time jitters, sorry. I can't promise I won't keep giggling, it's my nervous reaction, but I'll try work on it.

Yes, give it a couple episodes before you do, establish your style and routine and then bring in your guest. That way you have a set way the episode will go and you can wrangle any guest who may get out of hand (because we are all amateurs). And maybe make sure all listeners and guests know that you will cut their episode (or severely edit) if they knowingly say horrible things that are inappropriate and hurtful.

And the giggling wasn't too bad, it is just unprofessional, which makes sense. I do not expect you to make that promise to me. If I was your guest, I would try to pretend that no one else would be listening to this so I am just talking it out with some cool internet people. If I didnt do that, there would be a lot of me going "ummm hahaha, ya.".

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Posted by Video_Game_King

@jams said:

@video_game_king said:

First off: how long is it?

That's what she said.

Which she followed up with, "Oh, really? Well, do you have a bigger one on you? Because I'm not waiting fifteen minutes for you to go out and buy another."

Posted by TheHT

oh boy, this is awkward. which is to say it's pretty much what it should be.

Edited by President_Barackbar

What a cool idea, will make sure to give it a listen!

Posted by Humanity

@duskvamp: How can he put you down for playing Facebook games and not even own a proper pair of gaming headphones! The wedding is OFF!!

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Posted by deathstriker666

HOW DO I IMPRESS DA WOMENS?!!!! please halp

Edited by Morbid_Coffee

This is a good idea that I haven't listened to yet but would like to see more of even if it is just a clever, semi-serious joke.

Edited by Phatmac

Great job you two! :)

Posted by Chaser324

Nice work, you two. I hope you guys keep it up because I would like to hear more. I'll just echo two pieces of advice others have said: get Wrighteous a better mic and use your real names. Aside from that, just continue to be yourselves and things should naturally improve on their own as you get more practice.

Moderator
Edited by iam3green

i'm downloading it right now. i'll edit what i think.

EDIT: pretty good stuff. thought the advice was good. i think everyone needs to turn their mic up a little more. i had to turn up my volume, which is good already. listening to music had to turn the volume down.

Posted by Blu3V3nom07

I listened to like half of it at school. I liked it, maybe just try being more casual. ~ B+.

Posted by SirOptimusPrime

All this did was make me remember that Evan Brass song. Before my time, but discovering that through old podcasts was so awesome...

What were we talking about? Oh yeah, I'll download and give it a whirl.

Edited by NegativeCero

So basically Rebel FM during the first few years? Kidding, I'll give it a listen later on.

Edited by Wrighteous86

@humanity said:

@duskvamp: How can he put you down for playing Facebook games and not even own a proper pair of gaming headphones! The wedding is OFF!!

Hey, I'm a console gamer! I... never really saw the point. But I'll definitely figure something out when we do this again.

@blu3v3nom07 said:

I listened to like half of it at school. I liked it, maybe just try being more casual. ~ B+.

Yeah, we loosen up a bit once we start answering questions, but I think that should continue now that we've gotten over our first-time jitters.

@negativecero said:

So basically Rebel FM during the first few years? Kidding, I'll give it a listen later on.

Except hopefully I'm not as obnoxious as Arthur... I was getting a tattoo while we recorded, though.

Posted by Daveyo520

I am sure this can only go well.

Edited by myketuna

You two just keep living the dream, don't you? I love it.

Listening to the podcast right now and so far it's great.

::EDIT:: You guys really found the groove toward the end. Taking calls/voicemails along with threads/email questions (and maybe a guest here and there) and you guys have yourselves a damn good podcast.

Posted by Humanity

@wrighteous86: I listened to more of it at work today and my one criticism would be that you and @duskvamp to a lesser degree both seem really judgmental to the point of ridicule at times. Maybe try to distance yourselves a little from these issues and try to be more positive as well as gentle in your responses? While these issues might seem really obvious to you, the people writing these threads are probably pouring their hearts out and it doesn't help that you're cracking up while reading what they wrote. Sure that 18 year old guy that had a lot of girlfriends may do a ton more growing up and realize that he wasn't as wise about love as he thought he was but you didn't really have to break him down as much as you did. Also in the end you didn't end up giving him any advice.

So yah just try to be more positive and understanding I guess?

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Edited by DuskVamp

@humanity: After we finished recording, I did think back and thought we were harsh on that guy and I was worried that people would be annoyed about that. I think our problem was not reading through them before recording and thinking what to say about it. Our reactions were our first initial reaction without putting too much thought behind what that person must have been feeling. One of my biggest pet peeves is teenagers and young adults on Facebook posting status updates everyday about "being in love" and then a week later hating their guts and "All men are jerks", I took that out on him when I shouldn't have. It's something we will both definitely work on, we've said that next time we'll read through them and make notes about what to say properly, instead of off the top of our heads. I hope that it doesn't put anyone off writing to us.

Edited by Humanity

@duskvamp: Yah just a bit of empathy I guess. If (and I hope this doesn't happen by the way but I want to use a personal example) theoretically you and Wright broke up and you decided to write in for advice then people read your post while chuckling "well obviously this girl has no idea what love is cause she would know long distance relationships don't last. I feel like she was just being really naive.. yah I agree she should have known better.. ok next mail" You know, that's not really great advice.

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Edited by Wrighteous86

@humanity said:

@duskvamp: Yah just a bit of empathy I guess. If (and I hope this doesn't happen by the way but I want to use a personal example) theoretically you and Wright broke up and you decided to write in for advice then people read your post while chuckling "well obviously this girl has no idea what love is cause she would know long distance relationships don't last. I feel like she was just being really naive.. yah I agree she should have known better.. ok next mail" You know, that's not really great advice.

We definitely lacked a bit of empathy on that email, as DuskVamp admitted. However, the guy was making a bunch of outlandish statements hoping to qualify himself, and it was mostly posturing. Being in love plenty of times when you're 18, and having had 15 girlfriends so you know what you're talking about: saying stuff like that actually implies the opposite, that he had no idea what he was talking about. We addressed that in a ridiculing manner though, and I wish we hadn't.

I pointed out that he was using melodramatic and romantic language when discussing this girl, and I was trying to imply that his perceptions of things were misguided and wrong, which I think is obvious to anyone with an outside perception.

More directly, we advised that while this girl is giving him some physical and emotional attention, she is up-front and blatantly telling him she's not interested in dating him. He called that mixed signals, but it's not mixed signals. She's telling him what she does and doesn't want, and he needs to take her at her word rather than assuming implications based off her actions. If a girl knows you're interested and she tells you she's not interested in you, 9 times out of 10, that's exactly what she means. It's not a test, or a trick. It's her letting you down. That was our real advice, and I stand by it.

Like you said, we were way too mocking with that email, and I understand why we were, but I wish we hadn't been and will try to temper the humor (and we do need some for people to remain interested) so that it doesn't become cruel. But I do think we gave them solid advice in the matter. Our messaging just may have gotten lost in all the other things we were saying.

I appreciate the feedback though, we are definitely going to utilize it.

Posted by DuskVamp

@humanity said:

@duskvamp: How can he put you down for playing Facebook games and not even own a proper pair of gaming headphones! The wedding is OFF!!

Hey, I'm a console gamer! I... never really saw the point. But I'll definitely figure something out when we do this again.

I bought mine mainly to use on the Xbox, so no excuses!

Posted by Humanity

@duskvamp said:

@wrighteous86 said:

@humanity said:

@duskvamp: How can he put you down for playing Facebook games and not even own a proper pair of gaming headphones! The wedding is OFF!!

Hey, I'm a console gamer! I... never really saw the point. But I'll definitely figure something out when we do this again.

I bought mine mainly to use on the Xbox, so no excuses!

I also have one for my xbox, beautiful surround sound Trittons. Any self respecting gamer and dare I say, real man.... would surely own a pair!

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Posted by SexyToad

downloading, DONT DISAPPOINT ME.

Edited by IrrelevantJohn

The first episode is pretty good you two. Keep it up!

Posted by Wrighteous86

@sexytoad said:

downloading, DONT DISAPPOINT ME.

No wait, sorry! We can fix it!

Posted by Daveyo520

@sexytoad said:

downloading, DONT DISAPPOINT ME.

No wait, sorry! We can fix it!

Just make it sexier next time.

Edited by TheManiacsGnome

Interesting idea, very interesting. I didn't think there was enough relationship issues here to do a weekly podcast but hey, what do I know?

I will get around to listening to it one day soon, but what are the issues/questions predominantly about? I hope it's not an hour of people asking why they can't find any ladies who enjoy their particular brand of Anime, nothing wrong with anime I just don't like "Otaku" and listening to their relationship "troubles". It mostly boils down to; Get out of the basement/apartment/hole and interact with people, also please stop making anime noises! I die a little inside when I hear adult men making anime character noises. I can only imagine what a female who isn't really into anime would think, probably nothing flattering.

Ahhhh, fuck it. I'll just download it when I get home, I enjoy hearing people being snarky about emails.

Edited by Subjugation

I'm really curious as to what kind of headset @duskvamp uses because it's probably one of the clearest I've ever heard. Anyway, I just started listening and I'm only about ten minutes in so it's still game talk, but I'll be sure to update with my impressions after I'm done. And out of curiosity, where is duskvamp from? Couldn't help but notice the accent.

Edit: Alright, just finished. First thing that stood out to me, as has been mentioned earlier, is the giggling. I don't know if it was a nervous thing or what, but it was pretty constant throughout and became very distracting and bothersome. Second, contrary to other responses in the thread, I think you did handle the "I've had 15 girlfriends" thing about right. Not the actual mocking, but the fact that it tips you off to the fact that the person is either fond of hyperbole (which they seemed to be anyway) or they can't hold down a relationship. You don't do anyone any favors by coddling them. Tell them what they need to hear. That doesn't necessarily mean that you have to grind them on it. I'm just speaking generally here.

It was nice to have a guy's perspective as well as a girl's perspective. It became pretty obviously early on just how much they can differ and I think that's a good thing for people to realize, as apparent as you might think it should be.

Anyway, if you two can find enough content to justify continuation of the podcast, go for it. If you aren't able to get enough questions or pull enough threads, maybe consider just choosing a topic to talk about. You have some kinks to work out but I think that's to be expected, especially on the first episode.

Lastly, I loved the ending. "If all else fails ...." haha.

Posted by RPGee

Fantastic! Looking forward to giving it a listen after the Easter weekend. This has been a long time coming, hasn't it?

Posted by DuskVamp

@subjugation: I use Turtle Beach X12's and have been really happy with them so far. I did some research when looking for a new headset after my wireless ones died and there seemed to be a lot of praise for these ones.

I'm from Wales, UK. Sorry I don't sound like Mr Drippy, I'm sure that would have made the podcast a lot more entertaining! We'll work on the giggling next time, it's just a bit of a nervous reaction I have.

@rpgee: It definitely has! It's something @wrighteous86 kept trying to convince me to do, but with my anxiety of public speaking and internet ridicule I was apprehensive for a while.

Posted by Wrighteous86

Interesting idea, very interesting. I didn't think there was enough relationship issues here to do a weekly podcast but hey, what do I know?

I will get around to listening to it one day soon, but what are the issues/questions predominantly about? I hope it's not an hour of people asking why they can't find any ladies who enjoy their particular brand of Anime, nothing wrong with anime I just don't like "Otaku" and listening to their relationship "troubles". It mostly boils down to; Get out of the basement/apartment/hole and interact with people, also please stop making anime noises! I die a little inside when I hear adult men making anime character noises. I can only imagine what a female who isn't really into anime would think, probably nothing flattering.

Ahhhh, fuck it. I'll just download it when I get home, I enjoy hearing people being snarky about emails.

We'll probably do it biweekly, because you're right, we probably won't get many questions (at least starting out) and it might get old digging through threads constantly. We might have to mix up the formula a bit if that starts drying up, because I think monthly is so far apart people kind of give up on you.

The issues aren't the typical "how do I get girls" in this episode. It's a guy getting mixed signals from a girl he's been spending the night with, a guy wondering the best time to approach a girl, a guy wondering what a girl would think about him if he turned down sex; things like that. A healthy mix of fairly typical questions, but not the whole "I refuse to change my lifestyle at all, but complain that there are no women" type thing.

And I'm gonna buy the same headset DuskVamp has, because yeah... she was crystal clear. Thanks for the interest!

Posted by myketuna

I wouldn't give up on you two if you went monthly. I'm actually surprised you guys are planning to do it more often than that. I'm all for it though if you can manage it.

Edited by Fattony12000

I'm going to put on some headphones and let you both come in my ears.

Edited by SexyToad

@wrighteous86 said:

@sexytoad said:

downloading, DONT DISAPPOINT ME.

No wait, sorry! We can fix it!

Just make it sexier next time.

It was a pretty good podcast! now I just need to make a relationship thread so i can get on the show.

Edited by Wrighteous86

@sexytoad said:

@daveyo520 said:

@wrighteous86 said:

@sexytoad said:

downloading, DONT DISAPPOINT ME.

No wait, sorry! We can fix it!

Just make it sexier next time.

It was a pretty good podcast! now I just need to make a relationship thread so i can get on the show.

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son, I've got a gmail address in the OP, so send us an email or audio one!

PS From now on, all my relationship advice will be belabored rap parodies.

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