Worst Game EvAr.
By yukoasho 7 Comments
Recently, Katherine Fletcher over at Channelflip Games has shown us what she believes to be the ten worst games of all time.
With some obvious picks and some less-than-obvious selections, Katherine has created a well-rounded sampling of some of the most atrocious crap to ever "grace" the gaming industry. While hers is qite a list, I thought I'd think about the games I consider to be the cream of the crap, and ask you all what you consider yours.
10: Pac-Man - Atari 2600.
Released during the height of America's "Pac-Man Fever," this game sold seven million units to a userbase of 10 million, a good number by any stretch. The problem is that Atari had made 11 million cartridges, expecting the game to spur more Atari 2600 hardware sales. This, however, is not the real problem. The real problem was that the game that was published went straight from prototype to retail, as Atari was in such a rush to get the game out that they released a concept program rather than taking proper care with the port. The result was a game with flickering ghosts, a Pac-Man that didn't rotate, and a maze with one warp tunnel at the top/bottom. The game looked and played nothing like the game America fell in love with, and the resulting dissapointment, combined with E.T., helped to bring the gaming industry to ruin.
9: Battletoads - Nintendo Entertainment System.
Difficulty is fine. Nothing's wrong wth a legitimately challenging game, and the NES had some of the best (Hi there, Guardian Legend). However, when a game is hard due to simply being cheap, that is lazy. Battletoads is in this lazy, stupidly difficult category, and it turns a pretty cool game with an off-the-wall style into an exercise in frustration. Even in games like Ninja Gaiden, there's some room for improvement. Battletoads offers nothing but frustration, and shows the perils of looking at the "good old days" with rose-tinted glasses.
8: Beyond the Beyond - Sony Playstation.
In the time before Final Fantasy VII thrust RPGs into the marketability they enjoy today, RPGs were, to put it mildly, hard to come by. As such, RPG fans played some downright atrocious games just because we knew that was all the RPG we were going to be playing for a while. Beyond the Beyond, however, stung especially hard. This was a game that combined grossly pixelated visuals, bland characters, the most aggressively blatant grind sessions since Vay on the Sega CD, a localization most likely done by the SCEA janitorial staff and that damned sound effect that began with Shining where character speech would be represented by horrible sound effects to create an RPG that was an atrocity even in its time. Thank God for Suikoden and Wild ARMs.
7. Tecmo Secret of the Stars - Super Nintendo Entertainment System.
Another in a long line of RPGs no one would have looked at were it not for the pre-FF7 drought, Tecmo Secret of the Stars (Yes, the publisher's name was IN the title, much like Tecmo Bowl) ups the ante for shitty ass RPGs. Despite being released well into the SNES' life, the game was barely above Turbografx 16 Hu-Card games. It also featured a throwaway cast and a story held together with scotch tape and glue. Most offensive was the battle system, which was criminally simple and underdeveloped. Indeed, the whole game just screams half-assed.
6: Revolution X - Arcade.
Who doesn't love a good lightgun game? Constant action, legions of enemies, and a brand of chaos that few games can emulate. However, when the game in question sports the single most uncomfortable and huge gun ever, it's just hard to play. It doesn't help that the enemies aren't particularly interesting and the Aerosmith tie-in is stupidly blatant. Memo to developers: we want streamlined guns in our lightgun games.
5: The 7th Saga - Super Nintendo Entertainment System.
Another one in the long line of games that were pointlessly hard, The 7th Saga was a game that caused many a thrown controller for the wrong reasons. No matter what level you were - and trust me, this game was the ultimate grind-a-thon, insta-death was always possible, either by spell or by your enemy simply being too damned hard. Not only that, but the feeling of reward just isn't there. Level Ups are slow, as is getting money, the story is subpar even by the standards of the era, and the otherwise beautiful graphics are decidedly sparse outside of towns. A failure by any definition.
4. Rumble Roses XX - Xbox 360.
The rare instance of a laughably bad game that I enjoy despite, the game manages to one-down the previous game in the series by removing the storyline and replacing the already dodgy mud wrestling with a street fight mode which is completely incompatible with the game's fighting style. The problem with this game, much like the original Rumble Roses, is that the moveset for all the characters is very submission-heavy. A good wresling game, like a good fighting game, has a great list of characters with diverse personalities and fighting styles. While the personalities are awesome and sensual, the over-emphasis on submission moves leads to long, mind-numbing bouts. At least when characters aren't using their context INsensitive supers. Add a throwaway character creation mode, and you have a pretty crappy game whose existence is only justified by the sheer amount of sexiness held within.
BRONZE
3. Dragonball Z Sagas - Nintendo Gamecube.
The game was a cash-in of the lowest order. While the game featured great video from the series, the actual in-game grahpics were bland, with almost nothing in the way of textures used throughout. This also combines a minimalistic fighting mechanic and a severe lack of enemy variety to make for one of the dullest cash-in franchise games ever. There's just no reason for this game to exist.
SILVER
2. Xevious - Arcade.
You know ho shooter games are supposed to have a lot of action and tension? Apparently someone didn't give Namco the memo when Xevious was unleashed. The graphics were adequate for the time, but the "action" if you could call it that was slower than Space Invaders, and the background music made elevator music seem appealing. How this game came from the same studio that was pumping out kickass games like Pac-Man and Galaga, I'll never know.
GOLD
1. Peggle Deluxe- PC.
I don't hate casual games. Far from it. I could sit there in front of Puzzle Bobble, Geometry Wars,Marble Blast Ultra, Puzzle Quest, Magical Drop -- Er, I mean Astro Pop, or Everyday Shooter for hours. The thing with Peggle is that there's not really any gameplay element to it. You shoot a ball, then proceed to pray. It's a lot like a variant of that old The Price Is Right game Plinko, or Lucky Hit from Shenmue II, only more random. It's not even a game, and I don't get why anyone likes it.
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