The Great Uncle that never was


Yesterday I found out that Great Uncle, Colin, died. More imporantly though, I only actually found out about Colin with that very information...

My nan was on the phone with his wife and soon after she then rested her arms on the dinner table and had one of those serious tones on her voice.
She explained how she had another brother called Colin, not a half or step brother, full blood relation.

Hes the oldest of my Nan and her siblings but at that time her dad, and my great Granddad, wanted a girl. Soo he then opted to just hand him over to some friends because again, he didn't want a boy and the friends also were unable to conceive a child.

According to my nan though, they never knew how to raise a child so well and thus he was never shown much love growing up. They fed him, clothed him and all that but the affection you need growing through the first stages of childhood was missing.

Even as a child too, my nan and her siblings knew of Colin, they knew he was there brother. They weren't permitted to see him though and nethier Colin or my nan ever appeared at each others birthdays or other family events.
Apparently such occurences was common in those days too...people just handing over their kid to someone else like a pet they just didn't like the look of.

Truthfully though, I wasn't saddened by the news, I mean of course hes still just a stranger to me and will always stay that way too.
I'm more soo pretty pissed at why the hell, all this time, my nan still just carryed on with her dad. They still spoke to each other like a loving father and daughter would throughout life. She explains to me how even as an adult, Colin was plagued with depression and was usually on meds and sorts throughout. 
 
He had least was able to have his own family, kids, grandkids. And worked as a teacher in a primary school. Non the less, his potential happyness in life was thwarted by his lack of affection during his childhood and of course knowing how he was abondoned. 
And now he dies at the age of 61. From a massive heart attack my nan said. I asked about the Funeral and she said she will attend, though franklyI feel its a lil too late toonly juststart getting involved in his life...when he doesn't have one.

I might join too, not because of him being family but because even without relation, he was a broken man who had to live life knowing his parents didn't want him. Blood relation or not, its just too damn cruel.

So yeah, bad things happen in the world, hardly news to anyone. But still just thought I'd give rise to such an event in my life.    

13 Comments
14 Comments
Posted by Yummylee

Yesterday I found out that Great Uncle, Colin, died. More imporantly though, I only actually found out about Colin with that very information...

My nan was on the phone with his wife and soon after she then rested her arms on the dinner table and had one of those serious tones on her voice.
She explained how she had another brother called Colin, not a half or step brother, full blood relation.

Hes the oldest of my Nan and her siblings but at that time her dad, and my great Granddad, wanted a girl. Soo he then opted to just hand him over to some friends because again, he didn't want a boy and the friends also were unable to conceive a child.

According to my nan though, they never knew how to raise a child so well and thus he was never shown much love growing up. They fed him, clothed him and all that but the affection you need growing through the first stages of childhood was missing.

Even as a child too, my nan and her siblings knew of Colin, they knew he was there brother. They weren't permitted to see him though and nethier Colin or my nan ever appeared at each others birthdays or other family events.
Apparently such occurences was common in those days too...people just handing over their kid to someone else like a pet they just didn't like the look of.

Truthfully though, I wasn't saddened by the news, I mean of course hes still just a stranger to me and will always stay that way too.
I'm more soo pretty pissed at why the hell, all this time, my nan still just carryed on with her dad. They still spoke to each other like a loving father and daughter would throughout life. She explains to me how even as an adult, Colin was plagued with depression and was usually on meds and sorts throughout. 
 
He had least was able to have his own family, kids, grandkids. And worked as a teacher in a primary school. Non the less, his potential happyness in life was thwarted by his lack of affection during his childhood and of course knowing how he was abondoned. 
And now he dies at the age of 61. From a massive heart attack my nan said. I asked about the Funeral and she said she will attend, though franklyI feel its a lil too late toonly juststart getting involved in his life...when he doesn't have one.

I might join too, not because of him being family but because even without relation, he was a broken man who had to live life knowing his parents didn't want him. Blood relation or not, its just too damn cruel.

So yeah, bad things happen in the world, hardly news to anyone. But still just thought I'd give rise to such an event in my life.    

Posted by Xeiphyer

The world is all fucked up. =/

Edited by PeasForFees

Your great uncle is 61, how old are you?

Posted by Yummylee
@Xeiphyer: 
The sad truth :( 
 
 
 
@PeasForFees: 
19 

 

 
Posted by DanielJW

Well written and depressing.  
 
Sorry to hear all that.

Posted by TheMustacheHero

Attending a stranger's funeral is disrespectful.

Posted by Yummylee
@TheMustacheHero said:
"Attending a stranger's funeral is disrespectful. "

He's still family though, regardless of how well I knew him...>.>
Posted by eroticfishcake
@TheMustacheHero said:
" Attending a stranger's funeral is disrespectful. "
He's not a complete stranger so I don't see the harm in it.
 
Anyway that's sorry to hear about even if you didn't know the man very well, if hardly. Still, at least you knew about him, a few months ago I only found out my uncle was dead...for 4 years. Strange how family works.
Posted by TheMustacheHero
@Abyssfull said:
" @TheMustacheHero said:
"Attending a stranger's funeral is disrespectful. "
He's still family though, regardless of how well I knew him...>.> "
Well what are you going to say when you go and people ask you about him?
 
"Oh yeah well I never knew him, but he died so now I'm here.... where's the fruit punch?"
 
You never knew him, he was a stranger to you and basically your "nan". You have no memories of him other than your "nan" saying he died.
 
I wouldn't attend the funeral if I were you.
Posted by Yummylee
@TheMustacheHero:
Wow, way to be a total prick over things. I tell people that I'm his nephew, or grand-nephew is thats the actual way to call it. 
You make it sound like I shouldn't even care ''wheres the fruit punch?'' Ha...way to add in some heartfelt humor into it. 
 
Maybe i just respect the ideals of family more than you do, but either way don't go insulting my own because of it. 
 
And whats with the marks over ''nan''???? wtf's that about?...
Edited by TheMustacheHero
@Abyssfull said:

" @TheMustacheHero: Wow, way to be a total prick over things. I tell people that I'm his nephew, or grand-nephew is thats the actual way to call it. You make it sound like I shouldn't even care ''wheres the fruit punch?'' Ha...way to add in some heartfelt humor into it.  Maybe i just respect the ideals of family more than you do, but either way don't go insulting my own because of it.  And whats with the marks over ''nan''???? wtf's that about?... "

I'm not trying to insult you. I'm just expressing why I feel you shouldn't go. 
 
I know some random dude on the internet isn't going to tell you how to live your life, but you created the thread on the forum which is open to the public to express their feelings and opinions on the topic.
I'm giving you my two cents, take it or leave it, but I'm not attempting to troll you in any way.
 
I could have come into this thread and said "Cool story bro" but I didn't.
 
Also I put "Nan" in quotes because it's obviously a name you call your grandmother, not the general public.
Posted by Yummylee
@TheMustacheHero:
Ok then, Well...I respect your opinion and all that but yeah I feel its suitable for me to attend.
And ''Nan'' is the common name people in the UK call their grandmother, just incase it came across as some slang I came up with.
Posted by Breadfan

You may not have ever known him, but I would go anyway.  He was family after all.

Posted by Absurd
@Br3adfan said:
" You may not have ever known him, but I would go anyway.  He was family after all. "
I would not.