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Aliens: Colonial Marines Review

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  • PC

Both functionally broken and creatively bankrupt, Aliens: Colonial Marines is an extinction-level disaster.

Many have chided Ridley Scott's recent sort-of-Alien-prequel Prometheus as a cynical, unnecessary retcon of the existing Alien canon that never quite justified its own existence. Aliens: Colonial Marines makes Prometheus look vital by comparison. Gearbox Software, who were ostensibly in charge of the seven-year operation required to bring this thing to fruition, have spent much of that time talking about just how much they loved Aliens. Studio head Randy Pitchford has spent years recounting the tale of the time he went to Ridley Scott's office, and had the opportunity to flip through the original Alien's concept art sketches with the director in the name of research for their upcoming Aliens game. To hear them tell it, all anyone at Gearbox wanted to do was bring a little of their own enthusiasm to a franchise they loved and revered. This makes reconciling the game spoken of by the studio's various figureheads, and the game currently available at retail, nigh-on impossible.

We spent a long time waiting for Aliens: Colonial Marines. Maybe we shouldn't have done that.

In reality, the many years of development spent on Colonial Marines have resulted in a staggering misfire. Ugly, tedious, and frankly more than a little bit broken, Colonial Marines is not a game that offers you, the presumed Aliens fan, anything you wouldn't do just fine without. The game's idea of expanding on the timeline that exists between Aliens and Alien 3 has never stood out as a particularly necessary one, but based on the aforementioned enthusiasm for the material, one couldn't help but hope that maybe the developers had some cool, unexpected ideas of how to flesh out that particularly nebulous period between film series protagonist Ellen Ripley's escape from the xenomorph-infested planet LV-426, and her arrival on the prison planet in Alien 3.

They did not.

Instead of thoughtfully fleshing out the existing canon, the developers instead chose to rewrite whole chunks of it just for the sake of making their dumb story fly. In the game, you arrive at LV-426 with a battalion of colonial marines who have come to find out what happened to the squads previously sent to the planet in Aliens. What they find is the Sulaco, the derelict ship that once housed the movie's marines, floating around in space. It's been overrun with xenomorphs, as well as Weyland-Yutani hired mercenaries, who have seemingly been conducting an operation on the planet and the ship. You, as marine Christopher Winters, begin the game by storming the Sulaco looking to aid your comrades in battle against the Wey-U soldiers and horrible creatures that have infested it, but eventually will end up back on LV-426, trapped in a much larger, and much stupider conspiracy than you'd ever dreamed.

This is one of the biggest fundamental flaws of Colonial Marines, and one it shares with Prometheus. Namely, this game feels like it was built around its setpieces, and not the other way around. Granted, at least Prometheus grew out of the germ of an idea that was answering the question of who the giant "Space Jockey" was that the hapless humans of the original Alien stumbled upon. That question may not have had the most coherent of answers, but at least it made a half-hearted effort to answer something. Colonial Marines instead takes the Star Tours approach, picking key locations from Alien and Aliens for the player to arrive at and proceed to gawk toward, while building a hacky, totally uninteresting story around why the player has to go to those places.

Lacking a coherent story direction, the game relies on its main characters to build up the drama. Unfortunately, we're saddled with Winters and a few other marine grunts who offer no identifiable personality outside of their endless recycled references to "no marine left behind" and patently unconvincing "ooh-rahs!" By the time the tatters of the team end up on LV-426, the game finally begins showing its hand, offering up ridiculous plot twists and poorly executed conspiracies that just add a giant pile of nonsense to the nifty, if somewhat vague premise of Alien 3. I cannot explain much beyond that without outright spoiling the game, but let's just say that a late-game cameo (that the game telegraphs in its opening credits) is one of the dumbest, most hamfisted twists in anything of Alien's canon. Yes, dumber than the entire Aliens vs. Predator franchise.

The worst part is that it does this for no real reason other than the sake of having another character you recognize in the mix. The existence of Lance Henriksen's Bishop at least makes canonical sense since he's a mass-produced artificial lifeform, but all this cameo character does is show up, try to explain away his appearance by actively avoiding trying to explain away his appearance--they literally answer a key plot question by saying "That's another, longer story..."--and then proceed to do nothing of note or consequence for the rest of the game. It's a twist for the sake of a twist, and nothing more.

In absence of proper storytelling, Colonial Marines must then rely on its gameplay to keep your attention. This is most unfortunate for a number of reasons. As a first-person shooter, Colonial Marines is at least a basically functional piece of work. The weaponry you're provided is neat and authentic, right down to the gunfire sound effects you remember from the movie. Yet, the action is deeply unsatisfying. The whole crux of the game, namely the violence done between man and xenomorph, is an unconscionable mess. Granted, combat in Aliens mostly boiled down to big, tough marines being savaged by creatures their weaponry and hubris could not stand up to, and that would probably not make for much of a game if repeated over long level sections in a shooter. So instead, xenos come frolicking after you, bounding up one leap at a time until they're right up in your face, swiping and snarling until you pump enough bullets into them to make them dissolve into acidic goo.

Multiplayer seems well-meaning, but isn't nearly balanced nor interesting enough to keep your attention.

Yes, this does become quite repetitive. The xenomorphs just aren't built to surprise you, or force you to really do anything other than just fire at anything that looks black and menacing. They crawl around on walls, sure, but the way they're scripted to attack robs the game of any tension or excitement. You will hear a blip on your motion tracker (a largely useless device in the context of this game), and suddenly there will be bad guys. Considering this game's only scare tactic is to have aliens start crawling out of air vents or bursting out of floors when you supposedly least expect it--keep in mind, it does this in pretty much every other corridor or room--this solitary ping is a shockingly ill-conceived move, in that it steels you for what's about to come every single time. If you had to actually use the motion tracker (which replaces the gun in your hand) for any kind of early warning, that'd make for some interesting, tense moments as you scan around for movement. But no, all you have to do is wait for the ping, and have your gun ready.

That Colonial Marines' campaign so thoroughly lacks in dread or terror is perhaps the most damning thing I can say about it. The only time the game pulls off anything even resembling unease is during a brief scene when your character is alone and without weapons. Zombie xenomorphs (no, seriously) who cannot see but can sense motion stumble around in Hadley's Hope's sewage, and as you fumble around in the dark, you're unsure which alien husks are still alive, and which are dead. For a moment, this is terrifying, but then the first moving zombie xeno appears, begins glowing an irradiated green, and then runs toward something moving and explodes. Suddenly, the scary gives way to the silly, and any hope you might have had of being properly frightened just flies out the window.

The zombie xenos are dumb-looking, but really all of the game's xenos are dumb-acting. Far from the efficient killing machines of the movies, these xenos are clumsy, dimwitted, and seemingly incapable of handling even just a few broken-down marines. The AI will frequently bug out, so to speak, leaving xenos pathetically trying to crawl up stairs, getting hung up in doorways, or just standing at unremarkable distances, stoically, as you pump dozens of rounds into them. Human enemies aren't much better, though they usually are able to walk around basic obstacles and even use cover.

AI bugs are just one of the many technical issues that plague Colonial Marines. There are serious glitches to be found elsewhere, often in the vein of weird debug code popping into random gameplay sequences and then just disappearing, environments simply not loading properly, or character and xenomorph animations flipping out into spazzy, bizarre flurries of movement. It's ugly stuff made even uglier by the world surrounding it. Sure, the artists involved in this game's development nailed a lot of the little details from the movie, from the ship design of the Sulaco, to the decimated ruins of Hadley's Hope down on the planet. But those things all had reference material, something to copy from, rather than something to be outright created. Where the game is forced to fill in the margins is where it gets downright unpleasant. Character models are bug-eyed, emotionless, and generally poorly animated, while environments often look crusty and poorly lit. No, I don't mean in that "we're keeping it dark to maintain a sense of dread" kind of way. I mean in that "we're trying to keep your eyes off these years-old looking environmental textures" kind of way.

Some will undoubtedly complain that the single-player campaign, which can also be played cooperatively (more on that in a moment), doesn't take longer than maybe five hours to finish. However, I don't consider that to be one of the game's faults. In absence of a strong story, Colonial Marines already drags as it plods along, tossing xenomorph after xenomorph at you, struggling mightily to get you to all the different landmarks it figures you're itching to see while also maintaining some semblance of an atmosphere. As it is, the campaign is merely severely disappointing and often unpleasant. Were it any longer, it'd be be outright unbearable.

As for the co-op, it has all the hallmarks of a feature hastily tossed in late in a development cycle. Up to four players can experience this idiotic story together, but only one character is really acknowledged or even focused on for the duration. You don't take over the roles of AI teammates already embedded in the story, but rather other marines who simply do not exist otherwise. Worse, many levels were clearly not designed for multiple people. Corridors are cramped to the point of bursting, which makes particularly heated firefights against the xenos utterly incomprehensible. And that level I mentioned earlier, the one where you have no guns? Right, that still happens, but with multiple people, which is hilarious since characters will often warp to one another if they become too far separated. This will tip off the bad guys, which results in explosions of acid and death. The only time the co-op seems to function as intended is out on the surface of LV-426, where open spaces let you gain your bearings and actually work together properly. Unfortunately, you're still fighting the same dumb enemies, but at least it's an improvement.

This is Alex, a survivor of Aliens: Colonial Marines, signing off. Don't play this game.

Elsewhere, there is competitive multiplayer featuring teams of marines and xenomorphs. The playable xenomorphs are an interesting idea (that has, admittedly, been done better elsewhere), in that they can climb walls, have different attack classes (spitters can do ranged attacks, while lurkers can move more stealthily), and require a different sort of teamwork than playing as a marine. Unfortunately, too many of the game's multiplayer modes favor the marines, who are far better armed and better equipped to handle the xenos than the reverse. Xenos are remarkably easy to kill, which means the xenos are forced to stay stealthy. Doing so is easier said than done, and the lack of attack variety in the playable xenos eventually leads you to wonder if it's even worth the trouble. Nailing a marine the first few times is actually quite satisfying, but as matches wear on, it becomes far less so.

It's strange and depressing thing to consider a game like Aliens: Colonial Marines. Think of all the potential, the time, the effort, the budget used up over these last several years, only to produce something so deeply, fundamentally flawed in every facet of its execution. Instead of the properly reverent Aliens sequel Gearbox supposedly set out to make, they've shoved this awful, grotesque thing into the chest cavity of the very franchise that they purported to love. I kind of hope that disappoints them, because it sure as hell disappointed me.

Alex Navarro on Google+
382 Comments
Posted by Masterherox

It... Baffles me, utterly baffles me, that gearbox can make great games like borderlands, then turn around and make games like Duke Nukem or Aliens.

That said, I was sorta hoping this game would be like Dead Space (one or two, mind you) but with Aliens. Truly a disappointment, especially considering how effective the motion tracker gimmick actually was in ZombiU.

Posted by Phatmac

Man.. :(

Posted by Paindamnation

Looks like this is Duke Nukem Forever, am I right?!

Posted by dvorak

More like FAILiens. Right folks??

No. And you should be extremely ashamed of yourself.

Posted by vikingdeath1

WOohoo! Alright new site launch! first review since site launch all right! happy thoughts guys!

Posted by daedelus

From the quick look, I think that the environments were appropriately dark. I don't think they were trying to hide "years-old looking environmental textures." Some of the environments actually looked cool and straight out of the movies. And the scripted character animations looked ok to me.

The main problem is there is a huge lack of substantial content for $50-60.

Posted by qUaK3R

I believe this review. Every fu**ing time they release a game related to 'Alien' world they ruin it. For everyone who loves the movies, stick with them, the older ones. All companies using 'Alien' either for movies or games only want one thing from consumers: money. To them, 'FU** YOU for continuing ruining 'Alien''

Posted by Nicked

I don't think there's a way to make a modern FPS that's also a great Aliens game. I bet developers like the Amnesia guys would be able to do something really interesting with the franchise.

Posted by hussatron

Here's some interesting parts from the reddit thread. I have no idea if it's accurate but it seems believable. Link in the credit for the quote.

...

Somehow the schedules for Pecan and Borderlands 2 managed to line up and GBX realized that there was no fucking way they could cert and ship two titles at the same time. Additionally, campaign (which was being developed by TimeGate) was extremely far behind, even as Pecan's Beta deadline got closer and closer. In April or May (can't remember which), Pecan was supposed to hit beta, but GBX instead came to an agreement with SEGA that they would push the release date back one more time, buying GBX around 9 mos extension.

About 5 of those 9 months went to shipping BL2. In that time, TimeGate managed to scrap together 85% of the campaign, but once Borderlands 2 shipped and GBX turned its attention to Pecan, it became pretty apparent that what had been made was in a pretty horrid state. Campaign didn't make much sense, the boss fights weren't implemented, PS3 was way over memory, etcetcetc. GBX was pretty unhappy with TG's work, and some of Campaign maps were just completely redesigned from scratch. There were some last minute feature requests, most notably female marines, and the general consensus among GBX devs was that there was no way this game was going to be good by ship. There just wasn't enough time.

Considering that SEGA was pretty close to taking legal action against GBX, asking for an extension wasn't an option, and so Pecan crash-landed through certification and shipping. Features that were planned were oversimplified, or shoved in (a good example of this are challenges, which are in an incredibly illogical order). Issues that didn't cause 100% blockers were generally ignored, with the exception of absolutely horrible problems. This isn't because GBX didn't care, mind you. At a certain point, they couldn't risk changing ANYTHING that might cause them to fail certification or break some other system. And so, the product you see is what you get.

...

Credit throwawayacm
Edited by Rotnac

bummer. first DNF, now this. Gearbox seems to be in a habit of overhyping and underdelivering games in extended development.

I've read some stuff on the development troubles with the game. That doesn't make me a business expert but maybe it would probably be a good idea if they focus on one game at a time? It just seems like common sense...

I'm really hoping that Brothers in Arms won't be a major flop. When Gearbox get's it right, they really hit it right out of the park.

Edited by GERALTITUDE

Man too bad this is a game hundreds of people worked on for years of their lives... this review and the following comments are super funny.

Posted by GS_Dan
@ravelle said:

@alkusanagi

said:

No, this is still better than Prometheus...

I quite enjoyed Prometheus.

Me too :)

Posted by dr_mantas
@qlanth said:

I thought Prometheus was alright.

That's because it is alright. Not earth-shatteringly amazing, but certainly not that terrible.

Colonial Marines is a piece of hot garbage however.

Posted by MurderSlingshot

I would've appreciated if they gave a reason for the Aliens ai being garbage. Something like, "These aliens have severe brain damage from the explosion at Hadley's Hope. That's why they are a bunch of fucking idiots."

Posted by Mumrik

This has looked like shit every time they've shown anything from it and it also turned out to be shit. I wonder how it is that a game like that doesn't get canceled. I can understand how some games show a lot of promise, but have too many issues and never really come together in time, but why does a publisher keep funding something that never really shows any potential?

Posted by Meltbrain

Oh, man. What a disappointment. Good thing I didn't throw down some money down for it before release. I'm totally going to play the newer Aliens VS Predator and enjoy the fact that game isn't such hot garbage.

Posted by Little_Socrates

No bullshit, this game looks worse than Duke Nukem Forever to me. At least Duke was technically functional. This seems six times more broken and just as unpleasant.

It also means I'm probably going to rent it from the Redbox given the opportunity.

Posted by MisterCrow

Man, I'm so bummed that this game is garbage. So bummed!

I couldn't say this any better myself. Goddamn did I want a good Aliens game.

Edited by Sooty

I think Randy Pitchford says this to himself every time he starts promoting another terrible game.

Posted by IceColdGamer

Totally bummed about this one. :(

Posted by evanbower

So, which is more broken - Aliens: Colonial Marines or the new website?


Ha cha cha, cha cha!

Posted by Soap

Calling it right now, the next Alien game is going to rock.

Posted by Slither_Maggot

Damn this a huge bummer. Had some high hopes for this title.

Posted by Efesell

Looks like this is Duke Nukem Forever, am I right?!

I think I'd rather play Duke..

That game is kinda boring, and exceedingly tasteless.. but it seemed like a finished game.

Edited by UKSamwise

'Zombie xenomorphs'

(Facepalm)

EDIT: I thought Prometheus was great!

EDIT 2: This review MUST, nay, NEEDS a Big Rigs style video review.

Posted by Spitznock

You mean this long-in-development first person shooter released over a half-decade after its announcement under the helm of Gearbox isn't of the utmost quality?
Weird. Never would've seen that happening.

Posted by ArbitraryWater

It really helps to read this review in Alex's voice. Gives it all a bit more venom.

Posted by CharAznable

Excellent review, Alex!

Posted by TMBaker

...steam sale it is!

Posted by myketuna

I was mildly interested in this game.

I am not interested anymore.

Posted by Ghostiet

You know what? I hope this makes Randy Pitchford think twice before he opens his mouth again.

@gs_dan said:

@ravelle

said:

@alkusanagi

said:

No, this is still better than Prometheus...

I quite enjoyed Prometheus.

Me too :)

Me too. Characters are constructs needed to behave idiotically so the plot can move forward, but I really liked the movie overall.

Posted by Pixeldemon

@Alex dusted off and nuked this one from orbit.

Posted by Teizen

Not surprised this blundered big time.

Posted by symmetrical

Did you guys hire the same web designer as IGN?

Edited by Wampa1

@sooty: So these reviews are a bite to the leg and the low average is much like being wheelchair bound till his best mate shoots him?

Posted by VonHobbittzu

That's unfortunate that this game's not up to par, but at least they got Lance Henriksen to voice Bishop. So that's a positive thing I can say? Also, who all misses the little character portraits of our heroic reviewers next to said review score?

Posted by Video_Game_King

But I just saw some of the Quick Look, and it didn't look terrible.

Posted by Lord_Punch

I cannot explain much beyond that without outright spoiling the game, but let's just say that a late-game cameo (that the game telegraphs in its opening credits) is one of the dumbest, most hamfisted twists in anything of Alien's canon.

is it hudson i bet it is

Does anyone know for sure who it is? I don't feel like the playing the game or watching a Let's Play to find out.

Edited by CakeBomb

This is at least 2 stars, 1 star should be broken, completely unplayable crap like Big Rigs. This is a mediocre by-the-numbers FPS with a great mythology behind it (even if it's mishandled). But oh well, hate train speaks louder I guess.

They should have gone off-canon and played out the unused Alien 3 script where Hicks is the main character, start off already without Ripley and go from there. Michael Biehn gets a job, he's happy to voice the character and just assume it's not canon from the beginning to avoid angry fans.

Still going to play this anyway.

Posted by Vigil80

What makes this worse is that I know there's an executive somewhere that will look at this situation and say, "Looks like the market doesn't want Aliens games."

Posted by HerbieBug

Excellent review of a truly awful game, Alex. And man, you are due for a quality game to review one of these days. :D

Posted by ThePurpleWall

Why, Gearbox? WHY?!

Posted by Wampa1

@cakebomb: He didn't even sound happy in this, just half asleep and totally disinterested.

Posted by FoxMulder

There won't be any "reviewer" avatar in the new site? =(

Nope, Jeff has been very vocal for a while about getting rid of them.

Posted by umdesch4

Oh man, I want to see those debug messages...anybody got that captured in a youtube video or something?

Posted by SpiderJerusalem

Man, this wouldn't be so painful if I didn't love Aliens so goddamn much.

Posted by ObsideonDarman

Great review, Alex. Easily the best I've read of this game since it launched.

Posted by Vigil80
@cakebomb said:

This is at least 2 stars, 1 star should be broken, completely unplayable crap like Big Rigs. This is a mediocre by-the-numbers FPS with a great mythology behind it (even if it's mishandled). But oh well, hate train speaks louder I guess.

They should have gone off-canon and played out the unused Alien 3 script where Hicks is the main character, start off already without Ripley and go from there. Michael Biehn gets a job, he's happy to voice the character and just assume it's not canon from the beginning to avoid angry fans.

Still going to play this anyway.

The guys have talked before about how reviewing isn't an exact science. In this case, the game is technically playable, but there are very good reasons not to take the time. Taken all together, I can see where the 1-star comes from.

Posted by joefromdayton

@mongoose: That reddit thang is here:

http://www.reddit.com/r/LV426/comments/18ewf4/a_lot_of_you_are_rightfully_upset_at_the_final/

Posted by Animasta
@cakebomb said:

This is at least 2 stars, 1 star should be broken, completely unplayable crap like Big Rigs. This is a mediocre by-the-numbers FPS with a great mythology behind it (even if it's mishandled). But oh well, hate train speaks louder I guess.

They should have gone off-canon and played out the unused Alien 3 script where Hicks is the main character, start off already without Ripley and go from there. Michael Biehn gets a job, he's happy to voice the character and just assume it's not canon from the beginning to avoid angry fans.

Still going to play this anyway.

family guy was playable, you know...