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Giant Bomb Review

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Bloodforge Review

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  • XBGS

Bloodforge is the half-baked XBLA God of War clone you never asked for.

There's no shortage of rip-offs in video games. This is, after all, an industry largely based on iteration and building on concepts laid down by those that came before. Sometimes developers stray a little too close to their inspirations for comfort, and get branded with the scarlet letter that is the "rip-off" label. I certainly wouldn't argue with most people's definition of a video game rip-off, but in the case of Bloodforge, I think an entirely new distinction is in order. Rip-off, as we know it, barely covers this hackneyed hack-and-slash snoozer from Climax Group (Sudeki, Silent Hill: Shattered Memories). There is no obfuscation here, no attempt to mask the brazen thievery from Sony's God of War franchise and Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian series. It is a Transmorphers-level mockbuster of a video game.

Who would have thought someone could create an anti-hero more one-note than Kratos?
Who would have thought someone could create an anti-hero more one-note than Kratos?

How blatant does it get? Well, for starters, the lead character's name is Crom. Granted, in this case, Climax isn't so much riffing on the god of Conan lore as the original Gaelic deity that Howard loosely based his god upon. Much as God of War used fixtures of Greek mythology as blade-fodder for its angry hero, Bloodforge pulls figures from pre-Christian Irish and Anglo Saxon mythology for Crom to cut his way through. Not that there's much of a history lesson here. What Climax does with these figures is even less historically relevant than God of War's various storylines. Basically, there are gods, and you hate them, so you kill all of them over the course of roughly four hours.

The reason you hate them is nearly identical to the reason Kratos hated his own gods. At the outset, you're betrayed by an unseen god for unknown reasons and tricked into killing your own wife. Crom, being the shouty barbarian that he is (he shouts everything), immediately sets out looking for vengeance, while a mysterious and sultry witch in a totally not evil-looking mask guides him by telling him things that most certainly are true and totally won't lead to some absurdly telegraphed plot twist down the road. Certainly not.

At least if you've played God of War, you'll know how this is all going to play out. Gods are slayed in order of least-hated to burning rage of a thousand suns, and in between you murder a gaggle of grunt soldiers and vile-looking creatures while using a few different weapon and magic types. It's literally the same formula, except employed with almost impressive levels of ineptitude and apathy toward making any of this fun.

The first problem (and there are many) is the combat. Crom has multiple weapons, but none of them are particularly pleasurable to use. The swords, hammers, and hand blades you're offered are hamstrung by sluggish-feeling combat animations that make trying to use a specific combo or maneuver all but fruitless. Of course, you don't need to use any of the combos. Just mash on the two attack buttons and periodically dodge out of the way of enemy attackers, and you'll do just fine. Unfortunately, unlike God of War, which does a decent job of masking its sometimes button-mashy combat with responsive controls and animations that make you look like a bona fide bad-ass, Bloodforge's combat is just a slog. It's not fun to look at, and it's not fun to engage with.

The effectiveness of this crossbow borders on hilarious.
The effectiveness of this crossbow borders on hilarious.

The enemies you're presented with do little to alleviate this. I'm not just talking about the usual three-hit-kill grunts, but even the big guys. The giant-sized grotesqueries and more tactically minded bad guys are just as one-note as the first guys you kill in the game. Their attack patterns don't vary in the slightest, and every attack is telegraphed by a big honking animation that practically screams, "HEY, USE THAT DODGE BUTTON BECAUSE I'M TOTALLY GOING TO ATTACK YOU NOW, OKAY?" at you. The only thing that makes later enemies more challenging is that they take forever to kill. That's it. There is a huge difference between making an enemy tough and making an enemy a laborious chore to kill. Pretty much every bad guy in Bloodforge skews toward the laborious chore category.

To make matters worse--or better, or both, I don't know--the combat is also just a wee bit broken. You see, in addition to blades, Crom has a crossbow he can use to nail enemies from afar. It's a bit of a chore to use, in that you have to at least be sort of facing an enemy to fire it off, but the benefit is that it never runs out of ammo. In a game that wasn't kind of awful, you'd expect your foes to be smart enough to navigate a devious plan such as, oh, I don't know, running around in a circle forever with only periodic moments to stop and shoot your crossbow until everyone is dead and you haven't taken a single hit, but in Bloodforge? Oh my goodness no. Most of these guys will just keep running around in a circle right with you, letting you shoot them over and over again until they're stunned and you can run up and deliver the final, incoherent deathblow.

I say incoherent because Bloodforge's camera is the worst. This camera, not any of the in-game enemies, is your greatest foe in Bloodforge. It's bad enough when you're just running around and the camera starts bobbing back and forth behind you like it's being held by a drunken film student, but when you're actually trapped in one of those circular bad guy arenas that you can't escape until everyone's dead, just trying to keep the camera at a reasonable angle on whatever it is you're trying to kill is a severe hassle. And I'm not just talking about using the aforementioned crossbow trick. I lost complete track of Crom in the thick of a group of monsters I was trying to stab so many times that I eventually stopped keeping count. I topped out at 23.

While the camera can shoulder a good bit of the blame for that, Bloodforge's monochromatic art style doesn't do much to differentiate what's on screen, either. Crom's sole defining feature is an animal skull he wears as a helmet. It's white-ish, which stands out a bit from the black and brown tatters he's draped in. Unfortunately, it doesn't stand out enough from the black and brown tatters every other character is draped in. When you're surrounded by a group, it's basically just a giant blob of black and brown with spurts of red popping up whenever something gets stabbed.

Look at the pretty color!
Look at the pretty color!

Even worse, you and your enemies barely stand out against the world which is, yup, you guessed it, frequently very black and/or grey. Usually each individual world will be tinged with a bit of green or blue or whatever to signify how totally different it is from the other worlds, but ultimately none of it pops. There are some decent character designs here (even if they do look ripped straight out of everything from modern Conan adaptations to Frank Miller's 300), but the entire game's color scheme is just too bland to make any of its halfway decent art stand out. I get that the game's artists were probably going for a kind of bleak stylishness, but it just doesn't work.

Look, it's not as if God of War is some wholly original property that doesn't crib from its own mechanical and narrative inspirations. But there's a difference between "inspired by" and "outright stolen from." Bloodforge falls squarely in the latter category, and to make matters worse, it can't even craft a halfway competent action game out of the myriad things it stole from much better action games. You can cobble together all the great ideas in the world, but if you haven't got a clue what to do with them, then all you're going to end up with is a creatively bankrupt mess like Bloodforge.

Alex Navarro on Google+

63 Comments

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korolev

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Edited By korolev

Oh alex. They roped you in to play this one too? There should be a Premium video called "Navarro's Revenge!" in which he forces Jeff, Ryan, Brad and Vinny to play through all the crap he has had to review for a minimum of 2 hours.

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devilzrule27

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Edited By devilzrule27

@mabber36: They are always fantastic. No one conveys the terribleness of a game better then Alex.

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MordeaniisChaos

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Edited By MordeaniisChaos

I think it looks cool just to witness. I actually dig the extreme end of the spectrum the game went to with it's visuals, which I think look pretty cool. But then, I appreciate Norway's influence on the death metal scene probably more than most do so I can see it getting annoying. The camera other than catching on things it should catch on occasionally seems fine. I didn't feel sick from it, I kind of liked it actually. It helped sell the "Jesus this place is the worst, what is this, hell?" motif of the game. Plus the blood really pops, which looks bad ass after you slaughter a bunch of enemies and the ground is just COVERED in blood.

Not saying it's good game, just that I'm interested in experiencing it just to see heads explode (I'm pretty resilient to gore, having seen plenty of actual gore, but that head exploded monster in the QL made me a little uncomfortable, but in an awesome way. It looks metal, but not in that "oh look at us we're edgy" way but in a "we live in a rainy northern European country and we probably sacrifice people to the blood gods" kind of way. Which is unusual in games. At least unusual for it to be taken seriously.

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UnrealDP

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Edited By UnrealDP

@DarkidRising: And I'm entitled to enjoying the content when it's good. I disagree on the review being poorly written if that's what he's getting at, but I guess it's just a subjective thing or something. I like the way it's written and maybe I'm just into Alex's writing style, but I do think there's a time and a place for telling people to be ashamed of themselves and calling things terrible, and the comments on a review most people enjoy and don't see a problem with is not one of them. Being hyperbolic is one thing, but being a bit of a drama queen is another.

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TEHMAXXORZ

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Edited By TEHMAXXORZ

I knew this game was going to be fucking terrible the second I saw it...

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oneidwille

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Edited By oneidwille

I assume Bloodforge: The Second would be the next logical title...hell, logic probably wouldn't work into it. Bloodforger the Reckoning...there we go.

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KamikazeCaterpillar

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Why doesn't Alex ever review good games?

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Valdarez

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Edited By Valdarez

Followed you for what, nearly a decade since GameSpot. Disappointed in this review and the general quality since Gamespot reviewers went to drop the GiantBomb. Not all the way through yet, but at the start, you definitely didn't kill your own wife. Perhaps that's a spoiler you let go? Dunno, either way, boo Alex, heavy boo.

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alex

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Edited By alex

@Valdarez: The hell are you talking about? In the opening cutscene, he absolutely 100% stabs his own wife because whatever god was screwing with him made her look like an enemy soldier.

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august

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Edited By august

@KamikazeCaterpillar said:

Why doesn't Alex ever review good games?

Because it's not as funny that way.

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KamikazeCaterpillar

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@august: Fair enough sir.

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Enigma_2099

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Edited By Enigma_2099

First I get Alex back from Harmonix, then I see they're still torturing him with reviewing subpar and bad games...

... why am I smiling right now?

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Enigma_2099

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Edited By Enigma_2099

@Enigma777 said:

I'm not trying to say that Bloodforge is not a bad game. From what I've heard and seen, it's atrocious.

However, this is a terrible review. Alex, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you didn't want to review the game, don't review the fucking game!

Who the hell died and made you editor in chief? If the review is accurate, why does it matter how he wrote it? You're not even bitching about having a different opinion of the game.

Why did we have to have similar usernames?