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South Park: Tenorman's Revenge Review

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Tenorman's Revenge would merely be another bland, unremarkable licensed video game were it not so fundamentally atrocious at its core.

Somewhere in between my roughly dozenth try at one of South Park: Tenorman's Revenge's later-game levels and the soul-crushing realization that I had nowhere near enough "time cores" to unlock the next level--not because I had been lazy about collecting them, but because that was the developer's intent all along--I tapped out. I gave up. I threw in the pot-smoking towel and said "no more."

There are pieces of Tenorman's Revenge that could potentially make for a good South Park game...
There are pieces of Tenorman's Revenge that could potentially make for a good South Park game...

This is not something I like to do very often. Even the worst games often have the potential somewhere within them to eventually do something cool (even if they rarely ever make good on that potential), and it's always struck me as unfair to judge a game until you've seen at least a taste of everything it has to offer. It takes a special kind of haphazardly designed junk to get me to throw down my controller out of frustration and outright hatred, and South Park: Tenorman's Revenge is such a game. Unless the endgame of Tenorman's Revenge suddenly repairs its busted controls, atrociously laggy netcode, and straight-up awful level design, I have a hard time imagining anything positive coming out of whatever chunk of this game remained untested by my hands.

I'm not sure why it's so remarkably difficult to turn South Park into a playable game. Other developers have tried and failed many times over, though Tenorman's Revenge deserves a special place in Hell for its outright butchering of the material. Things start out promisingly enough, with an opening preamble from an elder of the hyper-intelligent sea otters featured in the "Go God Go" episode describing Eric Cartman's sort of epic battle with noted ginger and accidental cannibal Scott Tenorman. Through this animated intro, we learn of Tenorman's plot for revenge, which includes stealing Cartman's Xbox 360 hard drive, and also unleashing hordes of ginger-haired robots on the world. The animation of this stuff immediately pops out as a positive point, doing a fine job of emulating the look and feel of the show. Unfortunately, that's the only thing developer Other Ocean Interactive got right.

Tenorman's Revenge is not funny. Not even a little bit. Even the worst licensed games usually find some way to tap into the core appeal of what people like about the thing that's been licensed, but the way Tenorman's Revenge tries to emulate South Park's sense of humor is by mailing it in with a bunch of lazily tossed together references. Hey, remember Mr. Hankey? Manbearpig? Towelie? They're all there, and you're supposed to laugh at them...um, being there? I guess? I can only assume this because there aren't any jokes here. Sometimes Cartman says something about Kenny's poor family. Sometimes Cartman makes a crack about Jews. Sometimes Cartman says "motherfucker." These are the things that you're theoretically supposed to chuckle at, but you don't, because they're not funny. They're badly timed, completely lazy, and frankly so overly familiar that you can't help but wonder if the developers wrote this script purely based on whatever South Park clips have the most hits on YouTube.

Without a solid story to care about or at least jokes to laugh at, Tenorman's Revenge is forced to rely on its gameplay to hook players in. This is borderline tragic for a couple of reasons. First off, this is a platformer in which the jump button does not work properly. Yes, it does make you jump, but it does so with just the slightest hint of delay, and features such floaty, bizarre physics that it's damn near impossible to land on any platform that's even a little bit awkwardly placed without multiple tries. I could see this being acceptable if Tenorman's Revenge were a relatively straightforward, no-frills platformer that mostly involved running to the right and occasionally jumping on bad guys, but this is not the case. If anything, Tenorman's Revenge is a convoluted nightmare of alternate paths, constantly moving platforms, endless collectables, and gobs and gobs of bad guys that like to spawn right on top of your head.

...but badly designed levels, shoddy controls, and a ludicrously awful campaign progression kill this game dead.
...but badly designed levels, shoddy controls, and a ludicrously awful campaign progression kill this game dead.

I'm not really sure what Other Ocean was going for here. There are glimmers of other classic platformers from the 8- and 16 bit eras here, so one can surmise that the idea here was to craft something that felt "old school" challenging. A delightful notion, except for the fact that the best games of that era demanded perfection while also providing you controls that felt correct for the challenges at hand. The lackluster control mechanics of Tenorman's Revenge aren't merely inadequate, they work aggressively against you. And then you have all these ginger robots to contend with. They're not overly difficult on their own, but they're hardly ever on their own. The game tosses piles of them (again, sometimes directly over top of your head) and expects you to somehow balance jumping on their heads over and over again without accidentally landing somewhere close to another one without getting hit. Fun fact: that never happens. The best bet is to use one of the few random weapons often floating around the world, though that gets pretty dull pretty fast.

Instead, whatever character you choose is beaten, pummeled, dunked in acid, dunked in human pee, and whatever the hell else over and over again until you just can't take it anymore. What makes it even more insulting is that the boss fights that come after all this abuse and torment are insipidly easy. Every boss I ran into operated on lazy, easy-to-recognize patterns and required only a modicum of effort to defeat. All that effort for so little payoff is just brutal on top of brutal. It's like surviving horrible trial after horrible trial just to survive, and then finding out all you have to do is kick a handicapped person in the shins to move forward.

That is, of course, assuming you've collected enough time cores to do so. Time cores are the game's currency for progress. If you collect enough, you can just move straight on to the next stage. If you haven't, you're stuck going back and replaying earlier levels until you have enough. The issue isn't really that lack of exploration ensures you won't find enough of them. In fact, you can explore all you want, but if you're playing solo, or frankly with anything less than four total players, you're hosed, because several cores in every level are hidden behind character-specific sections. You see, each character has a couple of unique abilities that let them do things like bust through walls (via Cartman's stomach) or jump really high, because apparently Kenny can do that. There are also bits that allow specific characters to turn into the superhero versions of themselves (The Coon, Mysterion, and so forth). Again, if you are playing solo, that means you will have to play through multiple levels multiple times as at least two or three different kids in order to collect more time cores.

So, here's the thing about this. This is always a terrible design decision. Always. I don't care how good your core gameplay is. If you have to force players to go back through your game multiple times over just to get to the later levels, you have fucked things up beyond any measure of repair. It's fairly obvious that Other Ocean paid no real mind to the notion that people would roll through Tenorman's Revenge with less than three friends at all times. The co-op has no easy drop-in/drop-out functionality, and playing solo ensures that you'll have to repeat levels a minimum of two more times just to get enough time cores to succeed. It's even worse because often the cores are hidden behind a 30 second side-section of a level that you haven't seen before, ensuring that 99% of what you're slogging through is something you've already done (and probably hated) before.

Good games inspire you to go back and play them again because they're fun. Tenorman's Revenge forces you to replay levels to even progress.
Good games inspire you to go back and play them again because they're fun. Tenorman's Revenge forces you to replay levels to even progress.

As if Tenorman's Revenge weren't already enough of a cruel joke, the co-op doesn't even work particularly well. Online, the netcode is a disaster. Players seemed to randomly drop in and out, and lag made the already unwieldy jumping controls about a thousand times worse. Offline co-op negates the lag, but it still suffers from the other fundamental issue: the camera. The developers tried to rectify the absurd amount of zoom required to fit all characters on screen by having players off-camera for too long respawn next to whoever is further along, but it's only half a fix. The camera still zooms out way too much, and does so in kind of a chuggy way that sometimes leaves your character and the pit/enemy/laser beam/whatever else in front of them totally obscured. It's a recipe for accidental death in a game that's already an accidental death smorgasbord.

Maybe my inability to soldier on through this half-busted garbage to its laborious conclusion puts an asterisk on this review for you. I don't mind, because I'm comfortable with my decision to abandon this thing in favor of doing literally anything else with my time. I'm comfortable with the notion that a game can be so fundamentally busted that there is no point in continuing on past the point of peak frustration. I'm comfortable in saying that South Park: Tenorman's Revenge is a gigantic middle-finger extended in the direction of anyone who might actually want to enjoy a game featuring the myriad memorable characters and storylines of South Park in video game form. And because of all of that, I'm completely comfortable declaring that you should stay the hell away from South Park: Tenorman's Revenge.

Alex Navarro on Google+

134 Comments

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deactivated-6058f06e73ee8

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@SmithCommaJohn said:

I only played about 10 minutes of the demo of this game before I gave up out of sheer boredom and frustration.

I've played bad games before, but I get a weird, unpleasant feeling just by thinking about this game. That's never happened to me before.

That's sort of an accomplishment on the developer's part, right?

I played with my girlfriend until just before the first boss at which point she put the controller down announced how bored she was and went to sleep leaving me to try and beat it by myself before eventually giving up too.

Something about this game is breaking people, I've played some bad games to completion in my time and very rarely give up but man… this game.

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Jazz_Lafayette

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Edited By Jazz_Lafayette

So does Alex hate games yet, or what?

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landon

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Edited By landon

@ShinjiEx said:

I feel sorry for those who bothered reviewing a game that no one will ever play ^__^

South Park is still popular, I'm sure there are plenty of people who will play this.

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narficacid

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Edited By narficacid

It infuriates me that, because of the brand name and commercials on Comedy Central, this game will probably outsell Rayman: Origins.

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ez123

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Edited By ez123

@Dark_Lord_Spam said:

So does Alex hate games yet, or what?

What do you mean?

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fox01313

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Edited By fox01313

Wonder how much of a voice the crew making South Park had in the gameplay or if they handed the assets over without any say in the gameplay. Glad to have someone like Alex to look at the game objectively, seen other places where they put a higher review score on it without focusing on how bad the core gameplay is. Hope that everyone who plans on getting the game will at least demo the thing first to dodge the bad games like this seems to be.

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bybeach

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Edited By bybeach

Alex, you need a good game to review, it just seems time. Now it doesn't have to be a big game mind you, oh say something on the level of The Binding of Isaac or another similarly uplifting game to rekindle the ole positive in you. I've been playing Painkiller, Recurring Evil... but that may be too 'happy' for you. Come to think of it, you like Kirby games, I do think nothing can go wrong with this at all!

Signed, A respectful and avid fan.

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jacksukeru

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Edited By jacksukeru

Man, Other Ocean is really going to need their Marketting team to wwebsite themselves over this.

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mordukai

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Edited By mordukai

Hey look. Alex just reviewed the game and that regurgitated crap they call a show.

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uhohlovehascometotown

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1/10 game.

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gizmo88

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Edited By gizmo88
Tenorman's Revenge would merely be another bland, unremarkable licensed video game were it not so fundamentally atrocious at its core.

Glass is half empty Alex?

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Andy_117

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Edited By Andy_117

You get this game for free with the Season 15 DVDs.

It's basically a tie-in toy that they're handing out... I guess someone in marketing decided it'd be fun to try and sell it on its own. But seeing as it's essentially a crappy DVD bonus feature, I don't know if I can even call this a game at all.

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xpgamer7

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Edited By xpgamer7

Didn't expect much even before the quick look. Also I hate pointing things out, but making people repeat a level before getting into a later one is not a bad design decision. It's just one that is often used to horrible effect, with few games making it work well. For example secret paths in mario. Or for an example of just moving forwards sometimes designers will make the run through different in some way, or one of those levels so fun or crazy or whatever they know(probably from testing) you'll want to go back.

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AlexanderSheen

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Edited By AlexanderSheen

@Little_Socrates said:

Let me remind you that Alex finished Madden NFL 3DS, Blackwater, NeverDead, and I think also Duke Nukem Forever in the last year. The fact that this was not finished is not to be taken lightly.

Seeing these titles... holy shit, this game is not a joke.

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AndyAce83

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Edited By AndyAce83

Haters gonna hate. Better go back and play some ME3 :-)

If you are a true South Park fan, you will love this game. I also liked Let´s go Tower defense.

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MattyFTM

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Edited By MattyFTM  Moderator

Considering some of the trash Alex has played all the way through, invoking Wolpaw's law must make this a god awful game. I think if the GB review scale had a 0 star rating, this game would get it.

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EverydayOdyssey

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Edited By EverydayOdyssey

Bad games always create fun reviews to read and this was no exception. It's too bad Southpark games are terrible because the show and almost everything else those guys put their name on are pretty much quality.

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Edited By dropabombonit

Great review Alex, this game seemed awful from the QL. I would have turned it off after the first level

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deactivated-5f502fb18ea3e

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@Phoenix87: Then why do you even watch it in the first place. So far the current season has been one of the best of the past 4 years...

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deactivated-5f502fb18ea3e

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@Grissefar said:

Dear Alex,

You've made a spelling error, as the towel from South Park is actually spelled Towelie, not Towely. Really unfortunate error there, man.

According to Towelie himself though its spelled Towelyey (S14E07)

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Enzeruu

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Edited By Enzeruu

Shame, thought that this might have been interesting but the quicklook immediately put me off and this sealed the deal. On the upside however Fez comes out soon.

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gaminginpublic

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Edited By gaminginpublic

Stop trolling Alex for making a joke comment on someone correcting his spelling. He isn't going to be fired over making a joke. You guys are delusional to think your "flagging" is that important.

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iamjohn

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Edited By iamjohn

@gaminginpublic said:

Stop trolling Alex for making a joke comment on someone correcting his spelling. He isn't going to be fired over making a joke. You guys are delusional to think your "flagging" is that important.

Says the dude who doesn't understand that the people quoting it and pointing it out are joking as well.

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GalacticPunt

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Edited By GalacticPunt

@gaminginpublic said:

Stop trolling Alex for making a joke comment on someone correcting his spelling. He isn't going to be fired over making a joke. You guys are delusional to think your "flagging" is that important.

Dearest gaminginpublic,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reading_comprehension

Hugs and Kisses,

The Internet

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Senate4242

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Edited By Senate4242

Thank you for the review Alex. I was still on the fence about this and now thanks to your review I have decided to never touch this. I love South Park, but after watching the Quicklook I was conflicted.

Heres hoping the upcoming RPG is good.

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Edited By bombHills

I tried the demo and it was a complete waste of time.

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anal_diarrhea

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Edited By anal_diarrhea

Well reasoned review. Game looks like complete dogshit, devs should be embarrassed.

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NobodyHIFI

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Edited By NobodyHIFI

why review this at all?

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fishinwithguns

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Edited By fishinwithguns

I saw the Quick Look and it was obvious this game wasn't a winner...however I was just so impressed by how they nailed the actual look and feel of an actual South Park episode (at least in the character design, animations, facial expressions, etc.) that I thought this game could theoretically be fun if you're playing with three other friends at the same time...but, I thought about it some more, and yeah...it was clear that this game is a mess and if it weren't South Park related I wouldn't have even watched the Quick Look. I almost hated to admit that, because I think almost the entire run of South Park (the show) has been solid throughout, but if it's a shitty game, it can't be Matt and Trey's fault...they bust their asses making new episodes every week and have almost no free time left, so it's not like they're doing quality control for the games (obviously).

I love the idea of a four player South Park side-scroller. It seems like it should easily translate into an awesome game, like almost a no-brainer...but they just can't ever get it right. I'm actually kinda glad, just because if this game turned out to be even half decent, I'm such a South Park fan that I would really be bitter about how I sold my XBox and ended up buying a PS3. But...bullet dodged.

Even though I kinda knew this game was bad, I was kinda shocked by the one star score (it's just so rare) that I had to read all the details about why this game is horrendous. It's pretty funny that you couldn't even finish it. I'm pretty sure some of these comments are probably bashing you for judging it without completing the whole thing, but it makes sense...you sometimes reach a point in playing a bad game that you decide there's absolutely nothing that can redeem it. I remember getting a ton of shit for giving my opinions on Red Dead Redemption before completing it, which was even stranger because all my remarks were very positive and also I never tried to qualify myself as a game reviewer, and I stated up front that I wasn't finished with it (also, it was written as a post anyway and not a review with a star rating)...it was just the fact that I hadn't finished it that pissed people off. They agreed with my opinions yet seemed to despise me for making an evaluation before I was finished. I mean, even Siskel and Ebert reviewed movies that they had walked out of because they were so bad. In those cases, the fact that professional critics who get paid to watch movies and evaluate them couldn't bear to sit through the entire movie just speaks to how atrocious it really is.

So basically, the consensus remains South Park = usually enjoyable, South Park game = most likely very bad and in some cases just an incredible waste of time. Based on what I've seen and heard, you're totally dead on about all the references to the show in the game. They're there, but pretty much purely for fan service and nothing else.

But overall, your review was totally tits.

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deactivated-5d056614f191a

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@0blivion said:

So a RPG South Park game isn't good? I am astonished.

This is not a RPG.

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EgoCheck616

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Edited By EgoCheck616

@AlexanderSheen said:

@Little_Socrates said:

Let me remind you that Alex finished Madden NFL 3DS, Blackwater, NeverDead, and I think also Duke Nukem Forever in the last year. The fact that this was not finished is not to be taken lightly.

Seeing these titles... holy shit, this game is not a joke.

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Edited By charliedown

@needforswede: oh my god dude...leave some water for the fishes...eh?

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Edited By gaminginpublic
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Edited By wumbo3000

Was this the first time Wolpaw's Law as put into use at GiantBomb dot com?