You might have the nonsensical Mega 64 commercial, or you might have seen this game pop up on Steam over the past few weeks and wondered "what the fuck is this anime game doing in the Steam Store?" before going to play a game you pre-ordered for the funny hat it granted your character in Team Fortress 2.
Well, I've been playing this thing on and off for a few days, and as the dev team appears to be taking the servers down to unleash a mega-patch known as the "Awakening" soon, I figure I can post something of a primer on the game.
Seriously though, wtf is this game?
Settle down. Rusty Hearts is a free-to-play MMO game, but less of a "mumorpeger" and more of a fun little hack-n-slash dungeon crawler with RPG elements in the vein of Diablo. You take one of three (soon to be four) characters, run them through a dungeon, and then use a combination of attack button and magic spells until you've committed genocide against every living nonhuman thing in that dungeon. The battle system is what makes this game fun, as it functions more like the stylish fighting engine of Devil May Cry or a modern fighting game. Want to launch a skelton in the air, punch it several times, then stomp on its skull after it lands on the floor? You can do that in one combo here! Want to smite them with a magic sword, set the ground below them on fire, then push them back with a sharp blast of wind all in seconds? This game will let you do that as well!
This engine allows you to string combos that flow together naturally, corresponding to the character you pick and the weapon you equip with that character. You can run through the dungeons with a party of up to four folks, or you can just solo them by yourself pretty easily if you have no social skills. Either way, the action is fast, furious, and fun to play, no matter which character you pick.
Hmmm, you have intrigued me good sir. What can you tell me about these characters?
There are four characters so far. Three of them are playable, and the fourth is only playable if you live in Korea. Supposedly you will get to play her "soon," but for now let's focus on the three you can use.
- Frantz Kruger --the half-vampire who managed to stop his own transformation through sheer force of will. As such he's got insomnia and anemia at the same time, and as a result has little patience for putting up with anyone's bullshit. This guy is probably the most "balanced" of the three, able to whip out a flashy sword or a giant axe and slaughter his enemies with some unholy magical justice.
- Angela Straugend--Hailing from some Eastern European village, Angela was a young witch who decided to fuse her soul with a weapon spirit named Graestra. This granted her incredible magic power and red spiky anime-hair. Graestra can take the form of a sword or a scythe, but the important thing is that Angela has access to a wide variety of magic that can take down whole clusters of enemies from afar.
- Tude Macloud--The cool blue dude with a 'tude, the protector of Mobius and...wait a minute, Sonic the Hedgehog's origin story got mixed up in there. Excuse me...ah here we are! Tude is a drifter who got bitten on his left arm by a werewolf. Even though he killed the wolf that bit him, the arm turned into a freakish claw that he (barely) hides with a large gauntlet. This character is a straight-up-brawler, able to use a plethora of close range attacks and can equip special gauntlets and claws to punch, swipe, grab, claw, and otherwise pound his enemies into dust.
What manner of calamity brought these unlikely heroes together?
The official version is here, but here's my interpretation of it: A genocidal vampire named Vlad wants to kill anyone who isn't a pureblood vampire. Are you a bad enough dude to infiltrate Curtis Castle (I know...) and slay him? You'll have to plow through legions of reanimated skeletons, fishmen and a large wooden robot called the BOOZATRON to reach him, but it will be worth it in the end. I think.
Alright, how much do I have to pay for this?
It's free! All you have to give are a few hours of your time. All refunds for those can be addressed to Father Time, though he's recently gone into Witness Protection so I can't help you there.
But what if I want to pay real money for a funny costume?
The costumes have no effect on gameplay, but if you're desperate and don't feel like grinding for the materials to swap your character's palette, you can convert your real money to "Zen" on the official Rusty Hearts website, then use that Zen in the cash shop to buy things like extra storage space or a brand new costume.
So if i did want to play this stupid game, where would I download it? It...it's not like I'm interested in it or anything! BAKA!
Well, if you want to download it, you can get the whole game for free either through the Steam Store or the official website here. The keyboard setup is okay, but if you find it hard to keep up then the game also supports gamepads like the XBOX 360 controller and various types of Logitech pads. So it'll be just like you're playing a hack-n-slash game on your home console, but with people over the internet. AMAZING!
For what it is worth, I have a character set up in each of the Eastern US servers, a level 15 Tude and a Level 8 Angela. If anyone wants to team up, message me through steam if you see me and we might work something out. Or don't. Either way, I hope you have enjoyed this primer to Rusty Hearts, and let us pray that the new AWAKENING patch doesn't make things worse.
Yes, the entire post led up to this Dethklok track. I make no apologies.