A Constant No Longer

Posted by mracoon (5087 posts) -

Many other people have written much, much better things about Ryan Davis than I ever will but sometimes you just need to write your thoughts down on even if they're incomprehensible.


"Ryan Davis can't die."

Those were my thoughts when reading the news story about Ryan's tragic death last week. "But it's Ryan motherfucking Davis" I kept thinking as I tried to make sense of it all. When you watch, listen, and experience (that's the only way I can describe Ryan persona, it was one hell of an experience) a person every week for over 5 or 6 years it's natural to assume that that will continue forever. Unfortunately, that isn't true. Ryan and the Bombcrew have been one of the few constants over the last few years of my life. As many others have said, no matter what crap was going on in our lives Giant Bomb has always been there to lift our spirits, whether it be the Bombcast, Quick Looks, I Love Mondays, (WU)TANG, Endurance Runs and of course the countless livestreams expertly hosted by Ryan.

The Xtreme Girl Advice Line is closed :(

It hurts. Sometime you don't understand how much a person means to you until they're no longer there. I never got a chance to meet him but that didn't stop me from feeling a huge loss (obviously nothing compared to that of his wife, family, friends and the GB guys). Neither did the thousands of people who've been sharing their memories over the last two days. It's a testament to his character that by just seeing or hearing him you felt a close bond. This was a person worth listening to because he was 100% genuine. He didn't need to hide behind a fake persona because who he was was so amazingly funny, so charmingly garrulous, so incredibly witty that you couldn't help but pay attention to him. He trusted his audience and let us in to his life. Who else would tell us a story of how they sat on a cake naked? Who else would drink human breast milk live on stage in front of an audience of adoring fans?

The Ryan Davis face

Even now I still haven't fully processed that he's actually gone. I keep reading all the wonderful eulogies and have to remind myself that he's not coming back and I have one less constant in my life. What's helped ease the pain has been another constant, the Giant Bomb community. Seriously, I love you guys. Reading all the tributes paid to such a wonderful man has been incredibly uplifting. I have friends that are into games but not to the same extent as people who would frequent a video game message board. Being able to talk to people who share your interests about such a nerdy hobby is wonderful. I feel so lucky to be able to contribute to site that Ryan helped found and that has such an amazing fanbase. So thanks duders. And thanks Ryan for being a part of mine and so many others' lives. I hope you're sitting on cake in heaven right now.

(Ryan would probably be annoyed by the pretentious blog title but it was the first thing that came to mind.)

#1 Posted by I_Stay_Puft (5017 posts) -

Good words dude.

#2 Posted by dungbootle (2501 posts) -

Good post man

#3 Posted by Bollard (6515 posts) -

Great piece.

#4 Posted by nick_verissimo (1440 posts) -

Honestly, reading these posts was the only reason I got through my work day. Thanks for sharing man.

#5 Posted by NekuSakuraba (7802 posts) -

Good work, duder.

#6 Posted by Pop (2691 posts) -

That was awesome dude.

#7 Edited by Reisz (1607 posts) -

We love you too man.

#8 Posted by PistolPackinPoet (226 posts) -

Great tribute

#9 Posted by Hoffafiles (332 posts) -

<> RIP

#10 Posted by LiquidPrince (16505 posts) -

I just can't process this. Everytime I think about it, my chest starts hurting. I still can't believe he's gone.

#11 Posted by big_jon (6180 posts) -

You fuckers keep making me want to cry.

#12 Posted by Cerberus3Dog (544 posts) -

It's crazy to think that Ryan Davis was more active in my day to day than most of my own family members! Man, I'm going to miss him.

#13 Posted by Demoskinos (16422 posts) -

Love you too!

#14 Posted by buzz_clik (7284 posts) -

@mracoon said:

I hope you're sitting on cake in heaven right now.

Right on. This was one of my bona fide thoughts during the last few days (and I'm an atheist, fer Pete's sake).

#15 Posted by Example1013 (4855 posts) -

@mracoon said:

I hope you're sitting on cake in heaven right now.

Right on. This was one of my bona fide thoughts during the last few days (and I'm an atheist, fer Pete's sake).

Being an atheist doesn't mean you don't want there to be a heaven, just that you don't believe there is.

#16 Edited by Lanechanger (684 posts) -

Well said sir, I got teared up but then chuckled when you reminded me of the cake sitting. *sigh* He truly was one of a kind...

#17 Posted by Tireyo (6712 posts) -

Even if he is gone, he's still here with us in our hearts. =-)

#18 Posted by armaan8014 (5849 posts) -

Good tribute man

#19 Edited by Gamer_152 (14297 posts) -

Well said. It feels like so long since we found out about his death, but it is still really hard for this to all hit home.

#20 Posted by AthleticShark (1370 posts) -

@mracoon said:

I hope you're sitting on cake in heaven right now.

Right on. This was one of my bona fide thoughts during the last few days (and I'm an atheist, fer Pete's sake).

I know exactly what you mean. It is times like these I wish for a beyond, some sort of god. Not only to bring myself peace, but to hope that the one who is lost as also at peace as well. For as much as I don't want to believe, there are times where I hurt enough to believe.

#22 Posted by pickassoreborn (610 posts) -

Fine words, sir.

#23 Posted by MJLL (18 posts) -

Thank you

#24 Posted by Tupacalypse (136 posts) -

Amazing words man, couldn't agree more we're all here for you and everyone in our community.

#25 Posted by Druminator (1808 posts) -

I've been on this site since the beginning and never really felt like part of the community but the past few days seem to have really brought everyone together.

#26 Edited by Skytylz (4070 posts) -

I'll just post this here. I drank last night with some of my best friends who came into town and I got a little drunk. Anyways, I thought I was upside of grieving Ryan. I wasn't. We were getting ready to call it a night and I just had to tell him, the other friend had took off, about Ryan. There wasn't anyone I could really talk to about it before or at least that I felt comfortable doing.

Anyways, I basically completely broke down. That's the first time that's happened to me in a long time and probably the first time I cried in front of someone else since I was a little kid. I realized it was because the Bomb Crew had always been there for me for the last 5 or so years. I moved schools about the time Giant bomb started and it took me a long time to make friends.

I hated everything about the week during the school years and all I ever looked forward to was playing games at home on the weekends. When I found the Bombcast it gave me something to look forward to during the week and it wasn't all bad. TANG and the P4 endurance runs helped as well when those were happening, but Giant Bomb as a whole made my life a lot better when I really felt alone that year or two.

Losing a part of the team is crushing in such a weird way. It was just nice to share what happened with someone I actually know. Reading the forums and seeing all the great videos of Ryan has also helped. The alcohol probably made more emotional than I should have been last night, but it was good to let it all out.

RIP Ryan Davis. You will forever have a place in all our hearts.

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