Amid a maelstrom of painful tears and uneasy chuckles, the cold shock of loss and hot stab of anger. Heavy grief hanging in the gut, warm memories of better days gone by, played over and over inside the mind’s eye. I’ve not been alone in feeling these emotions, I'm but one among the many thousands of people who've been expressing their thoughts and feelings online, huddled masses yearning to breathe free once again, to feel the weight of death finally lifted from atop our shoulders. That day will come, sooner or later, depending upon the person. My thoughts are with those closest to Ryan's memory, as well as everyone with the heart to mourn his passing; even from the distance that this digital world inherently brings to the relationships founded within it. It's been a sight for sore eyes to see this many humans come together for such a singular cause, because of and using this crazy silly thing called the Internet.
As has seemed fitting to most of those who visit this grand website that Ryan helped to carve from out of the perilous cliffs of the World Wide Web, a small offering of one’s thoughts on the tragic events of July 3rd, 2013 feels like a thing you just have to do. This is me trying to do that. I'm just sorry I'm so shitty at it.
What follows is a very short movie film that I made to say thanks to the man whose untimely death has inspired me to stop being quite so much of a pussy. To give things a go if I’ve a means and an end to do so. Go with what feels good, and if it turns out as less than you wanted it to be...do it better again next time. I sincerely hope I don’t have to make a video like this again for a very, very long time.
Yes. The shirt I’m wearing in the above video is a large. Yes. I’m only a small. That’s why I look (even) weirder/lamer than you might very well have expected. Speaking of shirts, I do have to give mad sick props to @alistercat for very recently sending me three shirts that I did not yet have as part of my collection. One of which I'm wearing in the above thing. And yes, I use the word collection because out of the six Giant Bomb shirts that I now own, only two are in my size. I still buy them just because I like 'em, even knowing that I’ll never ever wear them under normal circumstances. Thanks Giant Bomb, you've Steam Sale-ified t-shirts for me.
The podcast which he mightily hosted these past years was probably the avenue by which his influence was felt by most of us in the world. The sheer amount of hours he (and the rest of the crew) put in, the regularity, the professionalism (he did silliness very professionally), the joviality and camaraderie on display was always a pleasure to listen to. I don't think it would be too grandiose a claim to call Ryan one of the finest men to sit down in front of a microphone and talk into it. I must just say though, you guys damn near broke my heart in two with your most recent episode. I think, in general, Ryan wanted people to have as much fun as he did, for as much of the time as possible.
Would you duders watch me play Sid Meier's Civilization V and it's two expansion packs (Gods & Kings + the hot 'n' fresh Brave New World) for at least 12 hours? Civ V was deemed to be a five star game by Ryan, and I'm inclined to agree with him. Therefore, I put it to you that I'd like to conquer the known lands of Civ V in his name, bringing his funky fresh brand lifestyle to the hip new demographic of uncultured peons of the ancient world. If you'd like to watch, chat, vote, donate (to a charity/concern of some sort, precise details TBA) and Skype with me this Friday/Saturday/Sunday (precise details TBA) and just generally kick back for a bit. This is not a cry for help, not like this was.
Additionally, there may be other things going on with other duders both this weekend and next, so stay tuned for deets.
Look, I'm sorry, okay? I just think this is some dank ass prose poetry.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
- The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran. Published in 1923.