c0l0nelp0c0rn1's Saints Row: The Third (PC) review

Also Nicolas Cage...

It’s rare that a sequel to such a derivative game manages to exceed the legacy of its predecessor and truly become something unique. Saints Row the Third is one of those games. What started as a relatively humble rip-off of GTA: San Andreas in Saints Row 2 has since morphed into an amazing and ridiculous power fantasy that takes the open-world genre to new extremes. Emphasis is on “extremes”.

No one is putting emphasis on it like professor Genki!

You play as the Boss, the same “character” from Saints Row 2. I say the same character with quotes because he/she has the same character traits as the boss from Saints Row 2, but will inevitably look different unless you pain-stakingly recreate your Saints Row 2 character. Not exactly an easy task as the character creator is a little gimped compared to what it was in Saints Row 2. I imagine they did this to smooth out character animations (they look really good) and make facial expressions easier to interpret, but it’s a shame you can’t go really crazy. On the other hand, I was able to play as Nicolas Cage.

Play begins with your gang, the Third-Street Saints, robbing a bank. Normally its a social taboo to rob a bank, but the patrons and employees of the bank take it in stride even asking for autographs from the ruffians. However, the whole scene eventually goes pear-shaped when some of the bank’s employees pull assault rifles on our “heroes”. Turns out that the Saints picked the wrong bank to rob. The bank belongs to the Syndicate, an international crime organization from the sister city of Stillwater, Steelport. One thing leads to another and before you can say “floppy dildo-bat” the Saints are on the ground in Steelport and wrecking shop with all manner of assault rifles, shotguns, pistols, UAV missiles, and...um...a floppy...dildo..bat..yeah...


Those *ahem* weapons are essential to your survival in Steelport and it’s real fortunate that they are so much fun to use. It could be something about the way the bullets impact, it could be that the sounds on them are nothing short of amazing, but it could also be me... The driving’s not bad either, and while it won’t stand up next to a game like Burnout it’s still a great experience to drive around the streets of Steelport. There’s myriads of other gameplay mechanics here like basejumping, piloting, and car surfing but the omission of parkour to scale the taller buildings in the early game is a real shame.

It was the moment when I was jumping out of a helicopter when Kayne West’s “Power” was blaring that I realized how different Saints Row 3 was from Saints Row 2. Actually, it was the moment when I was out in the open world and didn’t have to do side activities to start story missions. No maybe it was the moment when I was shooting dudes as a toilet, or perhaps the time Pierce and I started singing “What I Got” by Sublime, all of it, the whole thing. Maybe the time when “You’re the Best” from the karate kid blares out as I’m “training”, tigers were involved. Sure some of these moments can be marred by some rocky difficulty, and it doesn’t exactly inform you about what you can purchase later on, but I still had a ton of fun with Saint’s Row The Third.

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Other reviews for Saints Row: The Third (PC)

    It’s a silly, irreverent, and over the top blend of action and violence. 0

    Saints Row doesn’t just blur the line between fame and notoriety; it outright crosses it and then runs over it a few times for good measure. For those new to the series, the Saints are a criminal gang whose popularity affords them celebrity like status complete with in game photo ops, branding and lucrative merchandising opportunities. The story is light enough that newcomers won’t feel lost but provides enough call backs and references to prior games to appease fans of the two prio...

    1 out of 1 found this review helpful.

    Silly and childish, Saint's Row: The Third is a great Game 0

    Sometimes absurdity is a welcome distraction. Saint's Row: The Third is extremely absurd. From the look of the various gangs around Steelport to the activities from the opening bank robbery to the end decision and how it's handled, this is an absurd game. Saints Row has always been absurd though. Even with the mostly straight forward first game in the series there were still crazy activities like picking up hos from abusive pimps and delivering them into the assumed friendlier arms of the Third ...

    1 out of 1 found this review helpful.

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