c0l0nelp0c0rn1's Saints Row: The Third (PC) review

Also Nicolas Cage...

It’s rare that a sequel to such a derivative game manages to exceed the legacy of its predecessor and truly become something unique. Saints Row the Third is one of those games. What started as a relatively humble rip-off of GTA: San Andreas in Saints Row 2 has since morphed into an amazing and ridiculous power fantasy that takes the open-world genre to new extremes. Emphasis is on “extremes”.

No one is putting emphasis on it like professor Genki!

You play as the Boss, the same “character” from Saints Row 2. I say the same character with quotes because he/she has the same character traits as the boss from Saints Row 2, but will inevitably look different unless you pain-stakingly recreate your Saints Row 2 character. Not exactly an easy task as the character creator is a little gimped compared to what it was in Saints Row 2. I imagine they did this to smooth out character animations (they look really good) and make facial expressions easier to interpret, but it’s a shame you can’t go really crazy. On the other hand, I was able to play as Nicolas Cage.

Play begins with your gang, the Third-Street Saints, robbing a bank. Normally its a social taboo to rob a bank, but the patrons and employees of the bank take it in stride even asking for autographs from the ruffians. However, the whole scene eventually goes pear-shaped when some of the bank’s employees pull assault rifles on our “heroes”. Turns out that the Saints picked the wrong bank to rob. The bank belongs to the Syndicate, an international crime organization from the sister city of Stillwater, Steelport. One thing leads to another and before you can say “floppy dildo-bat” the Saints are on the ground in Steelport and wrecking shop with all manner of assault rifles, shotguns, pistols, UAV missiles, and...um...a floppy...dildo..bat..yeah...


Those *ahem* weapons are essential to your survival in Steelport and it’s real fortunate that they are so much fun to use. It could be something about the way the bullets impact, it could be that the sounds on them are nothing short of amazing, but it could also be me... The driving’s not bad either, and while it won’t stand up next to a game like Burnout it’s still a great experience to drive around the streets of Steelport. There’s myriads of other gameplay mechanics here like basejumping, piloting, and car surfing but the omission of parkour to scale the taller buildings in the early game is a real shame.

It was the moment when I was jumping out of a helicopter when Kayne West’s “Power” was blaring that I realized how different Saints Row 3 was from Saints Row 2. Actually, it was the moment when I was out in the open world and didn’t have to do side activities to start story missions. No maybe it was the moment when I was shooting dudes as a toilet, or perhaps the time Pierce and I started singing “What I Got” by Sublime, all of it, the whole thing. Maybe the time when “You’re the Best” from the karate kid blares out as I’m “training”, tigers were involved. Sure some of these moments can be marred by some rocky difficulty, and it doesn’t exactly inform you about what you can purchase later on, but I still had a ton of fun with Saint’s Row The Third.


Other reviews for Saints Row: The Third (PC)

    What the ****?! 0

    It's a shame for all video games that come out after this masterpiece, Saints Row: The Third, because they will never reach the heights it reaches. If you open your heart to what it has to offer, it will change you in ways that no movie or song can. Video games as art? Fuck art. This is something more. No one game should have all this power....

    1 out of 1 found this review helpful.

    I didn't think I could care about Saints Row 0

    I'm not really part of the core audience for open world games. Instead, I traditionally prefer releases with a strong narrative and polished gameplay, but the insanity that Saints Row: The Third has on offer won me over completely. The B-movie story, cheeky dialog, and madcap gameplay kept me engaged through the entire story and all of the story-based DLC. When all was said and done, I wanted even more Saints Row. It's well executed on every level....

    1 out of 1 found this review helpful.

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