Here, watch this:
Now for those of you aren't neck deep in your toilets violently blasting vomit like a fire hose, I have a few points I'd like to convey to the Sega Corporation about what is wrong, so wrong, with their marketing department in 2010.
1. There are more demographics than Families and Super Hip Loft Kids. Branch out with your actors and change things up a bit.
2. "A racing game with attitude"? This isn't the early to mid nineties. Nobody on the planet relates Sonic with attitude in this day and age. Sonic only produces thought of contempt and misery. What's your next genius idea? Put sunglasses on Sonic halfway down his nose with cocked eyebrow?
3. Token girl is ridiculous. If you are trying to convey that girls play your games, then put one in your ads that is believable and not just a nonsensical buzzword dispenser.
4. So it's a four player game is it? I assume that's the reason for the other two uber-cool awesome haircuts on either side of the main two shills. Hot tip: If your main two actors are jumping up and down with excitement over your game screaming WEEE THIS IS SO AWESOME OH GOD MY FACE then having the other two kids completely mute kind of betrays that.
5. Where's Banjo & Kajooie? You obviously put them in the game to get some more people to play and even put them on the damn box art but in the trailer you concentrate on the Samba De Amigo characters? Huh?
6. Why are these kids using the standard Wii wheel? Pimp the dedicated blue wheel that you are putting out for this game. Make this game an event instead of the turgid mess is obviously is.
7. Retire the phrase "Bring It On". It is way overused. Seriously, you might as well had the girl say "Where's the beef?".
8. I know the Mario & Sonic Olympic Games titles sold by the assload but that doesn't give you free reign to re-launch Sonic yet again. Please have some restraint.
9. Where's Alpha Protocol you fucking bastards?