Sloppy Seconds

Posted by bonbolapti (1590 posts) -

 I hear Sleepy_Insomniac makes some hilarious Jokes.
Underneath that Abrasively witty Title, I have a serious vendetta against Split/Second. Because It started out as a Love/Hate relationship that leans closer and closer to hate every time I turn that game on. I've complained about it here and there (if you caught the end of the Naked Cartoon Podcast #4, I call it the worst game I've ever played.) but never really divulged on it because I never had the time.
 
First, I want to get out of the way, that I really love it's gimmick. It's Action-Paction to the nuts of 'explosions' and “Oh-SHITs!” does make for an exciting racing game. When you find the groove you get quite an adrenaline rush, there can be amazing moments coming out of near death experiences and gargantuan terrain changers. It's time trial stages suffer from being near perfect if you want to make it to first. But to get there, you sit in disbelief wondering how you were capable of pulling some of that shit off in the first place.
 
Gimmick aside, everything else about it, is insufferable.
 
 Cars go "flippy-flippy"
Maybe it's because it takes the name “Split/Second” to heart. EVERYTHING is constantly on you ass. Cars, Buildings, Missiles, gas tanks, airplanes, etc. It has a love for rubber-band AI. But these are the kind of competitors that are really hard to catch up to, the first couple/ten times you play through. If you're in the back of the pack, you could find yourself half way through the last lap, still seconds away from whoever is first/second. I suppose I could always just go back and finish a race when you unlock a better car, yet I hate myself enough to keep playing a stage until I get first place.
 
As I mentioned above about the time trials stages, Runs have to be near perfect because to win them (at least the car specific ones) you're literally a split/second away from getting second place. It usually involves driving past near-crashes or taking turns drifting as little as possible. When I mastered them I actually felt good about it, because I managed to pull first place out of my ass. But I'm a habitual creature. Training myself how to race in a time trial cannot be applied to a normal race and essentially I'm re-learning every new level I'm in. (But that's my problem and god forbid it applies to anyone else.)
 
There's also an Online mode that's currently Dominated by anyone that's already beaten the game, and I have to wait till I can unlock a car as, remotely as awesome as everyone else. But I'm half way through this bitch, so I'm committing! For the sake of beating the damn thing, and uh... just to get some trophies
 
It'll take me a while to finish though, because I'm rather enjoying myself a lot more with Torchlight.
 
[SIDE NOTE] I suppose I also forgot to mention, that for a game that's treating itself like a TV show, it really isn't doing much to show it, I kind of imagined that it would be the kind of game to benefit from commentary, But I could be wrong.. what do you think?
#1 Edited by bonbolapti (1590 posts) -

 I hear Sleepy_Insomniac makes some hilarious Jokes.
Underneath that Abrasively witty Title, I have a serious vendetta against Split/Second. Because It started out as a Love/Hate relationship that leans closer and closer to hate every time I turn that game on. I've complained about it here and there (if you caught the end of the Naked Cartoon Podcast #4, I call it the worst game I've ever played.) but never really divulged on it because I never had the time.
 
First, I want to get out of the way, that I really love it's gimmick. It's Action-Paction to the nuts of 'explosions' and “Oh-SHITs!” does make for an exciting racing game. When you find the groove you get quite an adrenaline rush, there can be amazing moments coming out of near death experiences and gargantuan terrain changers. It's time trial stages suffer from being near perfect if you want to make it to first. But to get there, you sit in disbelief wondering how you were capable of pulling some of that shit off in the first place.
 
Gimmick aside, everything else about it, is insufferable.
 
 Cars go "flippy-flippy"
Maybe it's because it takes the name “Split/Second” to heart. EVERYTHING is constantly on you ass. Cars, Buildings, Missiles, gas tanks, airplanes, etc. It has a love for rubber-band AI. But these are the kind of competitors that are really hard to catch up to, the first couple/ten times you play through. If you're in the back of the pack, you could find yourself half way through the last lap, still seconds away from whoever is first/second. I suppose I could always just go back and finish a race when you unlock a better car, yet I hate myself enough to keep playing a stage until I get first place.
 
As I mentioned above about the time trials stages, Runs have to be near perfect because to win them (at least the car specific ones) you're literally a split/second away from getting second place. It usually involves driving past near-crashes or taking turns drifting as little as possible. When I mastered them I actually felt good about it, because I managed to pull first place out of my ass. But I'm a habitual creature. Training myself how to race in a time trial cannot be applied to a normal race and essentially I'm re-learning every new level I'm in. (But that's my problem and god forbid it applies to anyone else.)
 
There's also an Online mode that's currently Dominated by anyone that's already beaten the game, and I have to wait till I can unlock a car as, remotely as awesome as everyone else. But I'm half way through this bitch, so I'm committing! For the sake of beating the damn thing, and uh... just to get some trophies
 
It'll take me a while to finish though, because I'm rather enjoying myself a lot more with Torchlight.
 
[SIDE NOTE] I suppose I also forgot to mention, that for a game that's treating itself like a TV show, it really isn't doing much to show it, I kind of imagined that it would be the kind of game to benefit from commentary, But I could be wrong.. what do you think?
#2 Posted by Baillie (3951 posts) -

1 Star then? Since it's the worst game ever, yet what you've said sounds awesome.

#3 Posted by bonbolapti (1590 posts) -
@Baillie:  Yeah, I'm aware that my blog is a bit of an Oxymoron. :P
#4 Posted by FunExplosions (5407 posts) -

Well, I have no interest in this game, but I did just watch that first link you posted. Funny stuff.

#5 Posted by bonbolapti (1590 posts) -
@FunExplosions:  Thanks, gotta let people come for something. haha!
#6 Posted by TheKing (787 posts) -

Really? This game is probably in my top 5 for GOTY so far. But hey, different strokes for different folks.

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