Spore lowered my sperm count. v2.0
It seems my first review of Spore offended some people (Yet it seemed more enjoyed the review then opposed it) and Gamespot's gracious staff was kind enough to remove the it.. But that's ok! Because v2.0 is here to continue speaking the truth of how utterly worthless this wretched game really is!
First issue I have with Spore is the DRM that comes straight from the 9th circle of hell to fetter honest buyers and make them feel like they are violated with a pinecone. Seriously, after buying this game you feel like you are being punished for being an legitimate customer and I don't mean in a kinky ballgag and black leather way. I'll admit that a few of my friends still found it convenient to 'win' copies of the game from other sources, but I decided to take the high road to which my rear end and whats left of a pinecone can both vouch to being the wrong road.
The first phase of spore is enjoyable and perhaps that's why I was compelled to continue on through the game.. I was haunted with the continual thought of, 'No! It's can't be this horrible! It's going to get better! Keep playing! The light at the end of the tunnel will show forth eventually!' well there is no light in spore and the entire tunnel collapses around you and yourself surrounded by and drowning in a massive pile of steamy **** called Spore. I soon found that the only semblance of fun I could coax from Spore was to cheat on a grand scale.. I played through the goo age and Tribal, but once I hit the civilization age my was so numbed with inane game play that cheating truly was the only option left. Once I reached the space age it was all over.. I was bored, felt cheated by EA, and regretted every minute wasted on Spore. The biggest issue I have with Spore now is that I cannot /GIVE/ the game away! Just before writing this review I made one more attempt to /GIVE/ Spore away to a gamer who I thought might not be in the 'loop' and thus unaware of Spore's epic failure, but even he was savvy enough to turn me down.