I always win fights...with a 7 year old

Posted by dvaeg (189 posts) -

I am raising a Star Wars fan, and I believe it is my sacred duty to do so in the correct fashion, with proper reverence for the Force and respect for the greatest of all Jedi -- Obi Wan Kenobi.   It is statements like that that get me into trouble in my house, as I was very clearly challenged when I made my assertion that Obi Wan was the greatest Jedi of all time, regardless of how you measured it.   Though this seven-year-old ball of argument put forth his own position, I bested him with my own argument, which laid out thus. 
 

 A badass like no other


 

As a padawan...

Remember this ugly guy?

One of the first Sith in somewhere around 1000 years to emerge and challenge the Jedi directly, Darth Maul was supposed to be badass himself.   He had a dual sided lightsaber.  He had horns on his head, and he pretty soundly defeated a Jedi Master in 1 on 1 combat, stabbing him cleanly through the mid-section.  Training for years in the art of Sith magic and an unparalleled master of lightsaber combat, he establishes himself as the first major baddie in the G Level (George) Canon of the Star Wars Universe.  
 
His style is not only flamboyant but functional, and in their first meeting on Tatooine he clearly dominates the venerable Jedi Master, forcing him to flee lest he perish.  Later, Darth Maul makes good on the promise in Theed, where he makes short work of Qui-Gon.  
 
But Obi Wan cuts him in half without even breaking a sweat.     Remember that?   Two halves of a former Sith Lord tumbling down a shaft...that was a bright spot in an otherwise dull movie.  
 
 

Then came the Clone Wars

The whole time there's this really weird focus on Anakin Skywalker, who is supposed to be this big deal.    See him over there?  He's not that tough.
 
But the real action is happening elsewhere...and you can see it on Genndy Tartakovsky's Clone Wars micro series.   This is where another (and more powerful) Jedi assassin is introduced, the cyborg Grievous (later known as General Grievous).   He's shown below, in all his 4 armed glory.  
 


In his first introduction, Grievous is terrorizing six (6!) Jedi simultaneously, including two Jedi Masters and he is clearly dominating the battle.   He does this after he has beaten a 7th Jedi (a Master, as well), and the only reason he does not kill them all is a dumb plot device.   
 
In the second set he kills at least 4 more Jedi and defeats Jedi Shaak Ti, who is revered as a great warrior herself.  I'm no expert, but I give him credit for well over one dozen clean Jedi kills.  
 
Obi Wan kills him, too. 
 Are you starting to get the picture?

That damn little kid

See that cute little blonde kid on the right hand column?   Evidently he's a big deal, something to do with being created by the Force or something.   Legend has it he was the most powerful Jedi ever.   But not when Obi Wan has something to say about it.   When he's done with this little Anakin kid, this is what he looks like:
 




Now I know what some people will say, that Vader only grew in power later, but that's just not true.   He peaked on Mustafar, and we know this because Saga Edition rules reduce force power for every cybernetic limb a character has.   Considering Vader is now "more machine than man", his use of the Force has been reduced by 50%.  
 

After Episode 3

Did you know that Obi Wan continued to kick ass after he went into hiding?   Yep.   While on Tatooine, Obi Wan meets and handily defeats Asharad Hett.   Who's that?   Well, he's a Jedi who survived Order 66, who one time captured Aurra Sing,
 Beat'd, and he takes off an arm


Sorry, needed to hide that in case you ever want to read the Legacy comic series.   
 
Obi Want cuts off his arm, rips off his mask, and exiles him like a whimpering little child.  And in that time, his beard became even more awesome.
 

His death

You see what I did there?  Obi Wan doesn't even DIE.  He just becomes one with the Force, meaning he was never beaten in combat.  Ever.  Only Yoda can lay claim to this (maybe Luke, but who the hell knows?)
 
And that is why, my seven year old whom I love so much, you are WRONG. 

 

Plus, that Obi Wan right there can sing.  Seriously, watch Moulin Rouge when you get old enough for your mother to let you watch it.   The old Obi Wan?  I saw him blow up a bridge on some river names Kwai while whistling a tune an din the face of the entire Japanese Army.   That's why he is the greatest.
 
Top that.
#1 Posted by dvaeg (189 posts) -

I am raising a Star Wars fan, and I believe it is my sacred duty to do so in the correct fashion, with proper reverence for the Force and respect for the greatest of all Jedi -- Obi Wan Kenobi.   It is statements like that that get me into trouble in my house, as I was very clearly challenged when I made my assertion that Obi Wan was the greatest Jedi of all time, regardless of how you measured it.   Though this seven-year-old ball of argument put forth his own position, I bested him with my own argument, which laid out thus. 
 

 A badass like no other


 

As a padawan...

Remember this ugly guy?

One of the first Sith in somewhere around 1000 years to emerge and challenge the Jedi directly, Darth Maul was supposed to be badass himself.   He had a dual sided lightsaber.  He had horns on his head, and he pretty soundly defeated a Jedi Master in 1 on 1 combat, stabbing him cleanly through the mid-section.  Training for years in the art of Sith magic and an unparalleled master of lightsaber combat, he establishes himself as the first major baddie in the G Level (George) Canon of the Star Wars Universe.  
 
His style is not only flamboyant but functional, and in their first meeting on Tatooine he clearly dominates the venerable Jedi Master, forcing him to flee lest he perish.  Later, Darth Maul makes good on the promise in Theed, where he makes short work of Qui-Gon.  
 
But Obi Wan cuts him in half without even breaking a sweat.     Remember that?   Two halves of a former Sith Lord tumbling down a shaft...that was a bright spot in an otherwise dull movie.  
 
 

Then came the Clone Wars

The whole time there's this really weird focus on Anakin Skywalker, who is supposed to be this big deal.    See him over there?  He's not that tough.
 
But the real action is happening elsewhere...and you can see it on Genndy Tartakovsky's Clone Wars micro series.   This is where another (and more powerful) Jedi assassin is introduced, the cyborg Grievous (later known as General Grievous).   He's shown below, in all his 4 armed glory.  
 


In his first introduction, Grievous is terrorizing six (6!) Jedi simultaneously, including two Jedi Masters and he is clearly dominating the battle.   He does this after he has beaten a 7th Jedi (a Master, as well), and the only reason he does not kill them all is a dumb plot device.   
 
In the second set he kills at least 4 more Jedi and defeats Jedi Shaak Ti, who is revered as a great warrior herself.  I'm no expert, but I give him credit for well over one dozen clean Jedi kills.  
 
Obi Wan kills him, too. 
 Are you starting to get the picture?

That damn little kid

See that cute little blonde kid on the right hand column?   Evidently he's a big deal, something to do with being created by the Force or something.   Legend has it he was the most powerful Jedi ever.   But not when Obi Wan has something to say about it.   When he's done with this little Anakin kid, this is what he looks like:
 




Now I know what some people will say, that Vader only grew in power later, but that's just not true.   He peaked on Mustafar, and we know this because Saga Edition rules reduce force power for every cybernetic limb a character has.   Considering Vader is now "more machine than man", his use of the Force has been reduced by 50%.  
 

After Episode 3

Did you know that Obi Wan continued to kick ass after he went into hiding?   Yep.   While on Tatooine, Obi Wan meets and handily defeats Asharad Hett.   Who's that?   Well, he's a Jedi who survived Order 66, who one time captured Aurra Sing,
 Beat'd, and he takes off an arm


Sorry, needed to hide that in case you ever want to read the Legacy comic series.   
 
Obi Want cuts off his arm, rips off his mask, and exiles him like a whimpering little child.  And in that time, his beard became even more awesome.
 

His death

You see what I did there?  Obi Wan doesn't even DIE.  He just becomes one with the Force, meaning he was never beaten in combat.  Ever.  Only Yoda can lay claim to this (maybe Luke, but who the hell knows?)
 
And that is why, my seven year old whom I love so much, you are WRONG. 

 

Plus, that Obi Wan right there can sing.  Seriously, watch Moulin Rouge when you get old enough for your mother to let you watch it.   The old Obi Wan?  I saw him blow up a bridge on some river names Kwai while whistling a tune an din the face of the entire Japanese Army.   That's why he is the greatest.
 
Top that.

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