Street Fighter IV Forum

Through months and months of professionally organized and efficiently executed surveys and tests, my team and I have come up with a complete list of Street Fighter IV characters that are undeniably cheap. Every time you've lost a match because your opponent picked that character simply because it was better than yours, and every moment you have lost Battle Points simply because your opposition kept spamming you with unfair moves.

Now my friends, is the time where you can look back upon those dark days and say, "I was right."

Let us begin.

Ryu/Ken: Ever since the primordial days of Street Fighter II, Ken and Ryu have always been cheap. But why is that? Well, they are just too balanced. How are you supposed to defeat a character that has no weaknesses or outstanding features? How can you possibly hope to beat an opponent who is naught but a blank slate? You have no idea how he is going to play when the match starts because these characters are so versatile, does Capcom expect you to simply read your opponent once the match has begun?

PREPOSTUROUS

Sagat/Sakura: These too sicken me. Not only are they variation upon the Ryu/Ken characters, but instead of being balanced they have quirks and different sets of special moves one must learn. How can one win against such characters!?

I ASK YOU

How can you hope to defeat them when they have these, these...specialties? How can you possibly defeat a player who leans upon a character's strengths to make up for their weakness? One cannot beat such beasts of the ring! With characters that are not completely average in every way possible put up a fair fight? One cannot defeat that which is pros as well as cons? But these cons balance out the pros you say? How can one possible attempt to take advantage of a characters weakness when one is attempting to deprive them of chance to use their strengths? Clearly such a feat is impossible.

Chun-Li/Dhalsim/Rose/Guile: Bleh, I can barely stand to type their names. So...unique. So...specialized. Excuse me, I feel a bit faint. Covering four of these monstrosities at a time is no easy task, I can assure you.

These characters may be the cheapest I have covered thus far. Not only do they have projectiles like those before them, but they each have very niche characteristics that make them vastly different from the other fireball characters. Sure, one could learn the nuances of these characters and attempt to defend against them, but how can one even stand a chance against such blatant strengths? Take Dhalsim for example. Sure, his ability to fight in the air is lacking, but he can control almost the entire area in front of him. Not only this, but he can teleport! To give an already overpowered character such an ability is insane! What was Capcom thinking when they original designed him? Attack from the air?

OF COURSE NOT

Sure you may get a hit or two, but what happens then? After you jump you must come back down! As I have already clearly explained, Dhalsim has the advantage on the ground. Therefore, since you must come back to the ground after your jump it is impossible to defeat him.

I can't continue with these heathens...let us move on.

Akuma/Gouken: Boss characters, of course they are cheap. As everyone knows, any character that is a boss is going to be cheap in a multiplayer situation. The developers must have gone stir crazy when they made the decision to put these two in the game. They are for the most part, similar in many ways to Ken and Ryu.

If this was not enough to label them as cheap, these is more to come my friends.

Not only do they play similarly to those two offenders, they are altered takes on the original characters. I know, I shouldn’t have to go any farther, but I must. Gouken, for example, shoots his normal fireball in an upward diagonal path as opposed to a straight horizontal one like most character. How can one ever hope to hit him if they cannot jump over the projectiles? Adapting a new strategy to fight him is certainly a futile effort, as it often is, as is attempting to fight back with your own projectiles. Why? Because he can jump over his opponents projectiles!

If this does not brand him as cheap, I don't know what does.

And then we have Akuma. Once again, one that does not require much in-depth analysis to come to a conclusion, but I will continue on for your sake. This bastard of the Ken and Ryu formula is perhaps even worse than Gouken. Not only can he fire abnormal projectiles as well, but he has three of them. He has both a normal and aerial fireball, as well as a special fireball that can deliver multiple hits!

ABSURD

Sadly though, this is all too true. It is impossible to predict what he is going to do! One could simply attempt to jump over the projectiles, but what if he was to fire an aerial one? How are you supposed to watch your opponent’s movements when you are trying to jump over the first slow moving, horizontal fireball? As should already be easily grasped from this revelation alone, Akuma is undeniably cheap.

Zangeif: This son of a bitch deserves a topic all his own. He is one of the command throw characters, in other words and throw that is unblockable is pulled off correctly. Unbloackable attacks should already be enough to close this case, but that is not all. He has a variety of gimmicks in his arsenal that allows him to spin through fireballs and become invincible for a few brief seconds, allowing him to get close enough to use his unblockable throws.

Even an idiot should be able to deduce how unmistakably cheap this is.

Some Street Fighter players have tried to sway my verdict by presenting me with arguments concerning Zangeif's speed. It is quite obvious that he is one of the slowest characters in the game, if not the slowest. But I ask them, "How does this factor in?" Speed is not a factor! His command throws spell out nothing but a quick death for any opponent that comes up against him. It is impossible to dodge these throws, as they are unblockable, so why even try? When faced with Zangeif, one can only sit down their controller and await a swift defeat.

Vega: Another outstandingly cheap character. Vega is simply too fast. Not only does his removable claw give him great reach, he also has many cheap tricks that can get him out of many situations. Back flips, jumping off the edge of the screen; these are just a few of the overpowered moves Vega has at his disposal. So what if his damage potential is not as great as some of his competitors? He is too quick, how can you dodge his attacks? You can't. You could try to block, but then what if he got behind you? Some would dare to say that he is vulnerable during many of his attacks, but that is simply an ignorant superstition. Of course he isn't vulnerable, that is why it's called an attack! You can only defend when someone is attacking you!

STUPIDITY

Blanka/E.Honda/M.Bison: Charge characters. At first glance, they may seem innocent enough. After all, they don't have any projectiles, and they aren't particularly swift. But that is not where the danger lies. These demons have the ability to perform special charge attacks, some even coming right out of a block. How can one even begin to speculate a defense against these powerful techniques? Projectiles are obviously useless, as they are blocking, and it would be futile to use them after the attack has begun as you would be too busy dodging. There is the slim chance that they could be left vulnerable after one of these maneuvers, but what then? They will of course start blocking again, or jump back into a guard. Certainly it is only possible for veterans to even attempt such a counter attack.

Not only this, but each of these characters in particular have extremely cheap special abilities. Blanka can create an electrical field around himself that damages any one that comes into contact with it and Bison has the ability to teleport. Perhaps worst of all is Honda who has both a chip damage move and a command throw!

To fight any of these behemoths is suicide.

Balrog/Cammy/Fei Long: These jokers are the close range part of the roster. Some may take this context portrays them as weak, but it is quite the opposite. I merely call them jokers because it is funny how many fail to realize how cheap they are. It is true that they don't have many ranged maneuvers, much like Zangeif, but this by no means makes them balanced. Each of them has powerful attacks that can send an opponent to the floor in a single hit. To make things worse, they each have a set of moves that allows them to rush their opponents, closing the distance between them within seconds to deliver the finishing blow. It should be quite obvious now why these characters are so cheap.

I was once given the argument that one should attempt to mount a ranged battle against them.

LAUGHABLE

Did I not just finish saying that they had abilities that allowed them to close distance!? What are you supposed to do, attack and then just back off? The nerve of some people.

Abel/C.Viper/Rufus/El Fuerte/Gen: It is here that we near the end of the list, and we it is also here that we come to the characters that may be the cheapest of the whole lot. It is here we find the characters with the ability to switch tactics on a dime. These fighters not only have variable attack styles, but many have moves that can turn into a several variants, each resulting in a different form of assault! Gen for example can change styles with the press of a button, almost completely changing how he plays mid battle. Surely it is an insurmountable feat to even consider determining which style he is currently using. Then we have characters like Rufus and El Fuerte who have single attacks that can split off into several different variations. Is one prompted as to which attack will be coming? Of course not! How could one conceive any viable defense against their opponent is constantly changing up their maneuvers? One could simply dodge the first phase of the attack you say?

IMPOSSIBLE

How could you prepare for the first phase when move alters afterward? Indeed, these fighters truly are the cheapest of the bunch. Capcom already had an incredibly unbalanced roster; to include these barbarians was simply an incredibly thick headed decision.

I'm starting to believe the development team was blindfolded when they coded this game.

Seth: And we come to the last character on our list, and the biggest offender. He is a combination of all the characters in the game, and after reading this list it should already be clear as day how cheap this horrid amalgamation is.

And it is with that we reach the end of our list. I hope you have learned some valuable lessons today, and hopefully I was able to hope you on your way to becoming the greatest of the world warriors.

Ah I almost forgot.

I have compiled a list of balanced characters as well. Should you wish to fight with honor and dignity, these are the only real choices when picking your main.

Dan: With no outstanding strengths and numerous weaknesses, Dan is clearly the best choice for the real competitor. Not only are his moves slow and predictable, but he is inferior to almost every other character in every conceivable way. Therefore, and without a doubt, playing Dan is the only way to test your true skill.

The moral of this story?

Real gamers play Dan.


Author's Note:
This is my love letter to every fighter I have faced online that claims they lost simply because I was using a cheap character.

Never change guys, we all love you just the way you are.

Dan: With no outstanding strengths and numerous weaknesses, Dan is clearly the best choice for the real competitor. Not only are his moves slow and predictable, but he is inferior to almost every other character in every conceivable way. Therefore, and without a doubt, playing Dan is the only way to test your true skill.