Tekken 5
Tekken 5 is the 6 game in the Tekken series, trying to follow the events of the “story” so far. As with the rest of the games that I’ve played or seen from the series it has a central focus on the Mishima family. In fact it even goes as far as to bring another Mishima into the game, Heihachi’s own father who must be at least 100 years old. Seriously? I don’t care how possessed by a Daemon you are, you are still human and you are still going to die after about 90 years of life because the human brain can’t handle living that long and this isn’t to mention the sheer amounts of stupid coming from being torn open at the belly and had bony teeth stuck in there. And they expect me to be able to believe in this “story”?!
Well, regardless of that, fighting games have never had decent stories and can’t not have overpowered bosses that half kill you in one attack. Isn’t that a summery of all fighting games, except for the original Street Fighter?
Stuff. That.
The graphics of the game are mediocre, but I suppose they’re decent for the genre because after all you’re not going to be able to play this game for longer than an hour before you get bored because otherwise you’ll have to gouge your eyes out with a fork and if you can play it for more than an hour then you have the mind of a deluded monkey and should be caged up with a sign saying freak on it!
Then you have the characters who are either male or female, and thus either dressed in more cloths than you’ve seen in a cloths shop or in a thong and a bra, or maybe a piece of gauze if they’re lucky in respective order. Except for Brian Fury, but then again Brian Fury has always been my favourite character because he reminds me of Roy Batty from Blade Runner in terms of appearance.
I suppose I should start to mention game play right about now. Fine. Game play is frustrating. Half of the time, when button bashing, you’ll win just as often as if you try winning by using combos and even when on the hardest difficulty the computers lack the intelligence to do anything but run into your attacks in the single player until about Stage 4 where they suddenly because hard as nails, block every attack and deal about one quarter damage for every attack or combo. How hard is it to understand that difficulty that gradually increases is better than a difficult metre that shoots out of the roof from ground zero at the drop of a hat?
Tekken 5 has some characters that are probably worth playing. There’s still Brian Fury, Paul Phoenix and Gun Jack which is what I’d play the game for, but there’s copies of some characters in fighting styles. Why would you want to play Jin and Heihachi when they have the same style? It’s probably a moot point when people say that they like the team games but that doesn’t really have any hold over me because I always found them annoying and disappointing when someone goes through three of your characters because they play the game a lot more than you and thus can either button mash more effectively or combo mash more effectively than you can and will stop at nothing to humiliate you by dragging your beaten ass out into the street and beat you more so just because you don’t own the game.
That and I can safely say that characters like Devil Jin shouldn’t be allowed. Ever. Unlike Soul Calibre, a half decent fighting game, none of the characters really seem balanced and the developers just put in as many cool moves as they could.
I suppose that for a fighting game it's mediocre as there's nothing new in it, other than a few new characters here and there, but other than that I found it exactly like I found Tekken 3 and Tekken Tag...