Someone Felt the Rich, Textured Fiction of Tekken Was Worthy of a Major Motion Picture

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Posted by Alex (1968 posts) -

I'm not sure exactly what it is about fighting games that seem to inspire Hollywood studios to make movies about them time and time again. I mean, yes, people kicking each other in the face and shooting inexplicable fireballs at one-another can be fun to watch, but considering that most fighting game fans will tell you that the vast majority of fighting games have terrible, terrible stories, it just seems an odd genre to plunder for a story-focused medium.

Is it everything you'd hoped it would be?

Then again, when has Hollywood ever done anything that made sense? This is the same industry that thinks having Brendan Fraser star in a 3D movie about William Tell is a great idea, and continuing to give Kate Hudson work on a regular basis seems totally reasonable. And now they've gone and made a Tekken movie, because seriously, why not?

Though it was originally released in Japan back in 2009, it's just now coming direct-to-Blu-ray and DVD--natch--in North America this July 19th. According to the press release, Tekken seeks to take the corporately-run future dystopia of the games and shoehorn it into something with a plot about Jin Kazama hunting the evil Tekken corporation (not Mishima Zaibatsu, because that's kinda hard to say out loud a lot) who killed his mother something something revenge whatever fighting dudes.

Directed by Dwight H. Little, whose previous credits include the abominable Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers and some episodes of Bones, Tekken features a veritable who's who of "Oh, that guy!" cast members, including that one guy from The Event, the girl from The Ring Two, the bad guy from Blade II and Hellboy II, MMA fighter Cung Le, and Cary-Hiroyuki Togawa, who apparently didn't learn his lesson the first time around when he played Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat. Jin, by the way, will be played by Jon Foo, who previously played Ryu in the Street Fighter: Legacy short film, and also has had a storied career getting beat up by the likes of both Tony Jaa and Batman in likely better movies.

The trailer for the movie can be seen below. Admittedly, its production values do look at least a cut above the glorious train wreck that was King of Fighters, though it seems lacking in the copious amounts of both boobs and Kevin Nash that so heavily factored into Dead or Alive. At the very least, it seems you'll have one more entry for your "Ironic appreciation of terrible fighting game movies" marathon night at next year's EVO tournament, Ryan has a new candidate for the next season of TANG, and I'm one step closer to that Time Killers movie I've dreamed about since the days of my misspent youth. I think Ryan Gosling would make a great Rancid.

== TEASER ==
Staff
#1 Posted by Alex (1968 posts) -

I'm not sure exactly what it is about fighting games that seem to inspire Hollywood studios to make movies about them time and time again. I mean, yes, people kicking each other in the face and shooting inexplicable fireballs at one-another can be fun to watch, but considering that most fighting game fans will tell you that the vast majority of fighting games have terrible, terrible stories, it just seems an odd genre to plunder for a story-focused medium.

Is it everything you'd hoped it would be?

Then again, when has Hollywood ever done anything that made sense? This is the same industry that thinks having Brendan Fraser star in a 3D movie about William Tell is a great idea, and continuing to give Kate Hudson work on a regular basis seems totally reasonable. And now they've gone and made a Tekken movie, because seriously, why not?

Though it was originally released in Japan back in 2009, it's just now coming direct-to-Blu-ray and DVD--natch--in North America this July 19th. According to the press release, Tekken seeks to take the corporately-run future dystopia of the games and shoehorn it into something with a plot about Jin Kazama hunting the evil Tekken corporation (not Mishima Zaibatsu, because that's kinda hard to say out loud a lot) who killed his mother something something revenge whatever fighting dudes.

Directed by Dwight H. Little, whose previous credits include the abominable Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers and some episodes of Bones, Tekken features a veritable who's who of "Oh, that guy!" cast members, including that one guy from The Event, the girl from The Ring Two, the bad guy from Blade II and Hellboy II, MMA fighter Cung Le, and Cary-Hiroyuki Togawa, who apparently didn't learn his lesson the first time around when he played Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat. Jin, by the way, will be played by Jon Foo, who previously played Ryu in the Street Fighter: Legacy short film, and also has had a storied career getting beat up by the likes of both Tony Jaa and Batman in likely better movies.

The trailer for the movie can be seen below. Admittedly, its production values do look at least a cut above the glorious train wreck that was King of Fighters, though it seems lacking in the copious amounts of both boobs and Kevin Nash that so heavily factored into Dead or Alive. At the very least, it seems you'll have one more entry for your "Ironic appreciation of terrible fighting game movies" marathon night at next year's EVO tournament, Ryan has a new candidate for the next season of TANG, and I'm one step closer to that Time Killers movie I've dreamed about since the days of my misspent youth. I think Ryan Gosling would make a great Rancid.

== TEASER ==
Staff
#2 Edited by DHunter329 (86 posts) -

nice

Edit: as in getting this quest done not about the movie.  Movie looks like another straight to dvd/blu-ray shitshow.

#3 Edited by Kyreo (4600 posts) -
@DHunter329 said:

" nice "

Awesome!

EDIT:  Wait, this is bad.  Very bad.  
#4 Posted by zombie2011 (4968 posts) -

I thought there was already a tekken movie.

#5 Posted by TheCableKid (206 posts) -

I hope some is thown into a volcano.

#6 Posted by Blair (2498 posts) -

New TANG material.

#7 Posted by Grissefar (2842 posts) -

Let's fighting love.

#8 Posted by Ashwyn (202 posts) -

I have seen this movie.

It is infact bad!!

#9 Posted by Yummylee (21242 posts) -

TANG, WUTANG and now SING: Survival Is No Game.

#10 Posted by Skullomania (135 posts) -

Wait is this new? I saw this film last year I swear it.

#11 Posted by jking47 (1209 posts) -

oh god

why tekken?
WHY TEKKEN!?!?
#12 Posted by QKT (249 posts) -

damn it i lost the game!

#13 Posted by bslayer (221 posts) -

this looks terrible

#14 Posted by NoXious (1338 posts) -

What? This must've released in Europe early then if this is big news.
Heck - this was on my movie channel yesterday! 

It's not a terribly bad movie, it made me realize how terrible Tekken is for a movie plot though.

#15 Posted by MisterChief (831 posts) -

This is not news.

Online
#16 Posted by CaptainCanada (105 posts) -

the trailer for that video was posted in 2010, this is old news already seen this movie and it sucked

#17 Posted by Hailinel (23851 posts) -

Man, I was starting to think that this would never see the light of day in the U.S., yet this actually makes the Tekken anime film from years and years ago look like a goddamn masterpiece.

Online
#18 Posted by Little_Socrates (5675 posts) -

After the credits roll, do you get to see a traditional character ending?

#19 Posted by Evilsbane (4529 posts) -

Truly shocked that this is an actual product they are going to attempt to sell.

Online
#20 Posted by Krakn3Dfx (2484 posts) -

Step Up 4: Tekken 3D!

#21 Edited by Khormouz (21 posts) -

Yeah I saw this some time last summer so this isn't really a new release.

Edit: Oh and it's just as bad as you would imagine it being.

#22 Posted by zityz (2360 posts) -

You know, it doesn't look that bad. Like of like blood sport meets vidja game world.


Is that Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa as Heihachi?  Awesome if it is.
#23 Posted by Mephiles1990 (32 posts) -

Man, the Tekken Anime film YEARS ago was better than this. I am never getting this, despite how much I love Tekken. Dang it Hollywood, can't you make ANY video game movie NOT suck?

#24 Posted by MisterMouse (3540 posts) -

haha that movie does not look good at all.

#25 Posted by guyver0 (147 posts) -
@Khormouz: yeah totally
#26 Posted by csl316 (8082 posts) -

Pre-ordered!

#27 Posted by bonbolapti (1599 posts) -

well you know.. if you can film it in Vancouver, you might as well do it :P

Online
#28 Posted by Mechanized (319 posts) -

The ONLY and I mean ONLY redeeming features of this movie are that the characters actually look like they do in the game and Christie's ass cleavage.

#29 Posted by theswoosh (162 posts) -

If I dont watch this, who will?

#30 Posted by MrKlorox (11203 posts) -

What? I don't think they look at all like their in-game counterparts.

#31 Posted by HatKing (5812 posts) -


WAIT.  Does this mean we can possibly see Cary-Hiroyuki Togawa, who played Shang Tsung, fight Jon Foo, who played Ryu?

Do I smell that Mortal Kombat-Street Fighter crossover we've all been waiting for????

#32 Posted by phrosnite (3518 posts) -

I'm shaking my head in disapproval...

#33 Posted by abdo (1037 posts) -

This has been out for quite a while. At least in Europe/Asia.

#34 Posted by yinstarrunner (1182 posts) -

Why's everyone so down on this?
This looks amazing.

#35 Posted by mattjam3000 (434 posts) -

T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_T_TANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

#36 Edited by chogi (554 posts) -

Already seen it. Christie's costume was the best part of the movie.

#37 Posted by 234r2we232 (3181 posts) -

Can't be worse than any of the MK films, considering the fiction involced.

#38 Posted by LethalKi11ler (1405 posts) -

ooooooooooooooooooollllllddddddddd

#39 Posted by SuperfluousMoniker (2906 posts) -

I watched this movie a few months ago for so-bad-its-good appeal. There was little to be found.

#40 Posted by Genkkaku (732 posts) -

Fell asleep during this film it was that baaaad

#41 Edited by LimpingFish (80 posts) -

It's really quite terrible.

Not a single character survives with dignity intact. Nina and Anna are reduced to little more than pneumatic concubines of a seriously mis-written Kazuya, Marshall Law is a low-level thug, and everybody else, from Raven to Sergei Dragonov, looks like they wandered in from a particularly uninspired cosplay event.

No J.A.C.K (although the Mishima Ziabatsu's - or as the movie puts it the "Tekken Corporation" -  generic stormtroopers are referred to as "jacks"), no King, and no Paul Phoenix. We do get Brian Fury, though. Hmm.

It's out now in the UK and Ireland, if anybody is interested. Please don't be.

#42 Posted by Rising_ixa (44 posts) -

I've already had the pleasure in sitting though this......now its getting a dvd release...at least we know we're never have to hear about this movie for a long time.....in fact the next time i take notice will be for the inevitable T.A.N.G episode....Ryan is going to fucking hate this movie

#43 Posted by NinjaHunter (972 posts) -

How many people get thrown into a volcano over the course of this movie?

#44 Posted by buzz_killington (3532 posts) -

TANG TANG TANG TANG TANG TANG!!

#45 Edited by LimpingFish (80 posts) -
@NinjaHunter: None.

Although, the director should probably be punted into the nearest available lava flow.
#46 Posted by endaround (2138 posts) -

This is where I ask for a Darksiders movie right?  Since a game seems completely out at this point.

#47 Posted by Wacomole (815 posts) -
@LimpingFish said:

" It's really quite terrible...., no King, and no Paul Phoenix.  "

What !? No King!? 
Not even a sly CGI-budget-saving cameo by someone in the background of a shot wearing a leopard-skin baseball cap?  For shame.
#48 Posted by ryanwho (12082 posts) -

Tekken is dumber than shit but Carey Tagawa is playing the main villain and I just have to see it.

#49 Posted by nasie (126 posts) -

Download this ages ago from the internet with no regrets.. it blows

#50 Edited by LimpingFish (80 posts) -
@ryanwho:  He seems to be playing Heihachi during his pipe-and-slippers, pyjamas-in-the-daytime phase. In so much as he does absolutely squat during most of the movie. Except yell a bit.

@MoleyUK: Nope. Paul Phoenix is mentioned, though. In passing. As a loser.

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