207. What felt like playing for 12 minutes, was actually the last 3 hours of your life.

208. The Emperor is a pretty cool guy and doesn't afraid of anything.

209. Some dragons are soulless bastards.

210. The Blade's recruitment standards have really gone downhill. As long as you are Dragonborn's buddy (even drinking buddy) it's all cool.

211. Organized crime (of both sorts) in Skyrim is in a pretty pathetic state. But you can save it!

212. A dude can accumulated quite a lot of obligations on his afterlife to various parties.

213. If you're a werewolf and you marry a werewolf. Do you always do it doggy style?

214. You can back stab and slit throats of ghosts.

215. For that matter you can decapitate ghosts.

216. People like to shout macho things at you while they are being decapitated. And even a few moments afterwards.

217. Todd Howard lies when marketing, wait I already knew that.

218. Bards guild sucks. And so they remain the worst profession in rpgs. All is well.

@QKT said:

74. sometimes you have an arrow permanently stuck in your face.

Just like in real life.

219. Dragons can fly under the ground and attack you from below.

220. Real life Bards are better than most in-game bards:

Edited all of the numbers, deleted some duplicates. Up to 220 now and all should be in order, keep 'em coming! Try to avoid anything remotely spoiler-ish and keep off topic chatter to a minimum so we can keep the topic as clean as possible.

I apologize if I missed someone posting this earlier...

221. If you're right-handed in real life, so is your character in Skyrim, and vice versa...

222. Some of the guards sound like Schwarzenegger.

223. Knee armour has yet to be invented.

224) Most people in Skyrim concluded that you should not have come here.

225) If an enemy can't find the person who sniped their buddy, they come to the conclusion they were just hearing things.

225) If an enemy can't find the person who sniped their buddy, they come to the conclusion they were just hearing things.

226. Never let a Frost Troll chase you into a town or the Guards will be pissed at you and murder you while the Troll murders everyone else.

227. Most of my friends don't know what an Oblivion gate is...

228) Don't shout at the Graybeards. They'll juggle you with their shouts until you die.

229) Two dragons fighting each other is actually a deadly debate in practice.

230) Seriously, kill the Thalmor. All of them. They only serve to insult you until you murder them.

231. If you shout, you blow people away.

232.Watch out. Sometimes if your just walking down the street and dude with a wagon of cabages walks by don"t get too close. One time a cabage got stuck on me and was floating in front of my face. I then drew my sword and it floated to the backside of my head. Finally it got off somehow, I don't remember what I did. 233.Going up to random citizens and shooting them in the head with an arrow might sound like a good idea, but it does have its consequences.

234) Don't feed the Sabre Cat, that is all

235) Bears and Sabre Cats work together... against you.

236) Don't start a fist fight it summons Dragons

237) Ulfric is a stage name. Real name is Adolf.

238. If, in the course of 250 hours of playing, 20 of the 2,000,000 things in the game go awry, wailing and gnashing of teeth will ensue.  
239. Carrying a million gold on your person doesn't weigh you down even 1/10 of a unit. Packing away hawk feathers, that's a different story.
240. Bethesda is pretty much satan for not keeping things stable, polished, focused and unambitious. 
241. Too much magic can be dangerous. You could burn your sweetroll. 
242. Buying a gaming PC is, apparently, a reasonable solution to casually suggest for every issue one might encounter -- but buying a controller if you don't like the way the UI handles on a keyboard is just silly.

243) Sweetroll thievery is a big issue for guards in Skyrim.

243.8. These blue orbs in an unnamed dungeon follow you everywhere.

243.9. This is a .gif. Click it to animate. Mammoths are not to be screwed with. They killed a dragon, straight up.

244. No one will ever have enough gold to buy all the dragon bones and scales you're carrying.

245. When NPC's glitch out, kill them

@Vexxan said:

50. A horse will always want to fight a dragon, but a horse will never win against a dragon.

Unless it's Shadowmere.

246. I used to be an adventurer. Until I took an arrow to the knee.

@DiegoBorin said:

243) Sweetroll thievery is a big issue for guards in Skyrim.

247.) As is " lollygaggin' " . Never lollygag.

248.) Do you not attempt to talk to a recently decapitated head at the guillotine, because, as you will be duly informed, "this person is busy".

249.) You will have a hard time explaining yourself when your wife catches you undressing a dead woman and throwing her down a hill.

Every urn, in every dungeon, in the entire skyrim universe, contains between 2 and 8 septims.

@Afroman269 said:

10) Fuck trolls, especially ice trolls. (not that kind of fuck)

LOL

251) Dead dragons still tend to make flapping sounds as skeletons. 

252) The Dragonborn can slay giants, dragons and trolls with ease but can't quite figure out how to jump while sprinting.

100. The worst time to have enough health potions to survive an encounter with an Elder Dragon...is when you have TWO Elder Dragons circling above you.

Two dragons are not better than one.

21) Some Orcs are on a reservation for Orcs...so they are Native "Skyrimians"? (Trying to spin off Native Americans.)

254. At earlier levels, don't complete the quest with Barbas the dog (i.e. take him back to his cave/master) - just keep him as your companion. He's invincible and can't be killed and will prove invaluable bait to enemies who attack him while you backstab them like crazy.

@DiegoBorin said:

243) Sweetroll thievery is a big issue for guards in Skyrim.

Ha! -thumbs up-

#Whatevernumberisbeforemine) I am over qualified to be a guard: I have taken countless arrows to not only the knee, but face, back, chest, appendages, and I am STILL adventuring.

@Afroman269 said:

10) Fuck trolls, especially ice trolls. (not that kind of fuck)

LOL

257)Your horse still loves you if even though you punch him, bashed him, lit him on fire, froze him, slash at him, shoot an arrow at them, make them jump off of unreasonable heights, make them climb mile high mountains, etc.

257. Never piss off a horse with eyes.

258. When a companion blocks your path, shout at him.

259. Never steal anything from the Sleeping Giant Inn, or you'll have an immortal delphine chasing you for the rest of your life.

21) over half of the skills can be leveled to 100 on a short time with glitches

In the Mehrunes Razor Quest, when you get to Mehrunes Alter, the Daedric Lords keep respawning at least 6 times, thats 12 Daedric Hearts for Daedric Armor

#whatevernumberisnext:

Do not EVER contract vampirism. Period.

you can become an archmage in one day

264) it doesn't matter if you take all of a dragon's bones. The dragon will still have bones when you walk away...

you can kill a fuckin dragon at level 10 but you can't kill a giant till your level 30

@bunnymud said:

110. Your smoking habbit doubles while playing Skyrim

Inaccurate.

save now to save your ass later

267). Arrow to the knee jokes got old very, very quickly.

Hypothermia isn't a thing.