Children in Skyrim are assholes

#1 Posted by normalpants (166 posts) -

I wish the PS3 version had mod support so I could teach those little fuckers a lesson. Every time I come to a town, one or two little snotnosers are up in my shit just telling me random things when I didn't fucking ask. I can usually tolerate kids in other games, but in Skyrim they are legion and constantly blabbing about nothing. Did I just activate some strange pied-piper quest or are others experiencing the same thing?

#2 Posted by smfE (31 posts) -

You might want to talk with a psychiatrist sooner or later.

#3 Posted by SepticShock (42 posts) -

The Jarl's kids are just the worst, You should be able to punch them when no one is looking.

#4 Edited by ArtelinaRose (1854 posts) -

I can't stand kids to begin with but I feel like Bethesda went out of their way to make all of the kids little shitheads that you WANT to hurt but cannot.

Fixed that problem though. Love PC modding.

#5 Posted by Jayzilla (2562 posts) -

I can't wait for a "harm child" mod for the PC.

#6 Posted by VilhelmNielsen (1735 posts) -

All these years we thought we wanted children in our video games. Turns out, we were wrong...

#7 Posted by Atlas (2447 posts) -

There's one little girl in Whiterun who acts all tough around me. It seems really stupid.

"I'm not afraid of you, you know, even if you are my elder."

"Girl, I'm a massive Orc wearing armour made from the bones and scales of the dragons I have killed, with a magic warhammer from hell. The fact that I'm your elder is the least of your problems. Shut the fuck up!"

#8 Edited by jjnen (661 posts) -

@Jayzilla: It's already out. You're clearly underestimating PC gamers hatred towards kids.

edit. @Atlas: That should be a conversation option with all the kids.

#9 Edited by Atlas (2447 posts) -

@Rappelsiini: Yeah, even if you aren't going to let me harm the kids, at least let me scare the fuck out of them. One of the best parts of playing an evil character in Fable II, and to a lesser extent Fable III, is that kids and townspeople run the fuck away from you and cower in fear. It makes you feel really powerful and actually feared.

Bethesda really likes obnoxious kids in their games. Remember those fucking shitheads in Little Lamplight in Fallout 3? Wanted to smack all those kids. Except the ADHD kid. He was jokes.

#10 Posted by Supercancer (183 posts) -

I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU, EVEN IF YOU ARE MY ELDER~

#11 Posted by Hizang (8532 posts) -

Indeed they are, theres this one kid in Riverwood that keeps saying I'm new around here so he will let me off, fuck him!

#12 Posted by Jack268 (3387 posts) -

ANOTHER ADVENTURER HERE TO LICK MY FATHERS BOOTS

#13 Posted by Enigma777 (6073 posts) -

It's why I kill them all.

#14 Posted by thehexeditor (1404 posts) -

@Jack268 said:

ANOTHER ADVENTURER HERE TO LICK MY FATHERS BOOTS

Your avatar's Gordon Ramsay face was pretty much mine when I heard that come out of the brat.

Good thing I have the PC version to take care of all of these brats.

#15 Posted by natetodamax (19207 posts) -

It's like they took the attitude of Princess from Fallout 3 (anyone remember her? God...) and applied it to every kid in Skyrim. It's actually kinda annoying.

#16 Posted by Moth_Pope (455 posts) -

You mean children in general are assholes.

Right, guys? Guys?

But yeah in all seriousness, they're all terrible in Skyrim. Even one I saw that was getting bullied, when I talked to him he just gave me shit. No wonder he keeps getting his head kicked in.

#17 Posted by RubberBabyBuggyBumpers (716 posts) -

@Jayzilla said:

I can't wait for a "harm child" mod for the PC.

there's already a mod for that. it's called killable children.

#18 Posted by OtakuGamer (1237 posts) -

I think Bethesda based those kids from a certain sci-fi character that everyone hated. Whenever I walk past them, they speak and sound exactly alike.

#19 Posted by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -

I don't want to kill them, I just want them gone. Is there a mod out yet that just kidnaps them all to Neverland or something?

#20 Edited by JackSukeru (5913 posts) -

It's a conspirancy meant to discourage nerds from procreating.

#21 Posted by j3ffro919 (243 posts) -

@Ravenlight said:

I don't want to kill them, I just want them gone. Is there a mod out yet that just kidnaps them all to Neverland or something?

Isn't killing them more humane?

Unless...you mean Neverland like Peter Pan, not Neverland Ranch. Subtle, yet huge, difference.

#22 Posted by BraveToaster (12589 posts) -

@RockmanBionics said:

It's a conspirancy meant to discourage nerds from procreating.

So the world will be ran by the offspring of Jersey Shore fans. True story.

#23 Posted by Toxin066 (3288 posts) -

One of them invaded my house. I couldn't fireball the thing to death and stabbing didn't work. Is a man not entitled to privacy on his own property, and by extension, the right to defend that privacy?

#24 Posted by Ravenlight (8040 posts) -

@j3ffro919 said:

@Ravenlight said:

I don't want to kill them, I just want them gone. Is there a mod out yet that just kidnaps them all to Neverland or something?

Isn't killing them more humane?

Unless...you mean Neverland like Peter Pan, not Neverland Ranch. Subtle, yet huge, difference.

Whichever is cheaper. I've got an iron daggers business I need to run and I can't afford an expensive mass-kidnapping.

#25 Posted by MikkaQ (10293 posts) -

Do they have the set bounty console command like in oblivion? I had so much fun setting guards to a 3000 bounty (apparently in Tamriel, 3000 is straight kill-on-site for anyone) and so guard would attack guards who would have guards attack them for attacking guards, plus all the friendly fire going on... it was a massive war.

Basically what I'm saying is can we get all the town guards to chase after and attempt to fight children?

#26 Posted by Green_Incarnate (1788 posts) -

@RubberBabyBuggyBumpers said:

@Jayzilla said:

I can't wait for a "harm child" mod for the PC.

there's already a mod for that. it's called killable children.

That must mean it's also possible to make them your zombie slaves? lol

#27 Posted by norenewalfee (108 posts) -

Just sneak and snatch those Jarl´s bastard children. I wish I would have...

Also dragons. there is dragons. dragons make everything better.

#28 Posted by RubberBabyBuggyBumpers (716 posts) -

@Green_Incarnate said:

@RubberBabyBuggyBumpers said:

@Jayzilla said:

I can't wait for a "harm child" mod for the PC.

there's already a mod for that. it's called killable children.

That must mean it's also possible to make them your zombie slaves? lol

hooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyy shit, that is a kickass idea! mwaahahahahahahahahahahahahHAHahahahHAHAHAHAHAHA!

#29 Posted by ArtelinaRose (1854 posts) -

@RubberBabyBuggyBumpers said:

@Green_Incarnate said:

@RubberBabyBuggyBumpers said:

@Jayzilla said:

I can't wait for a "harm child" mod for the PC.

there's already a mod for that. it's called killable children.

That must mean it's also possible to make them your zombie slaves? lol

hooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyy shit, that is a kickass idea! mwaahahahahahahahahahahahahHAHahahahHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I just did this. And then turned the former Jarl's son to ashes in front of the Jarl. He didn't give a shit.

#30 Posted by MetalGearSunny (6992 posts) -
@smfE said:

You might want to talk with a psychiatrist sooner or later.

LOL
#31 Posted by animathias (1186 posts) -

I find kids in real life tend to be generally annoying. That doesn't mean I wish harm on them.

Walk past them. Move on with your life.

#32 Posted by DonPixel (2585 posts) -

Children in general are real assholes, Human Nature.

#33 Posted by ObsideonDarman (651 posts) -

Yeah they are little cunts. It almost as if Bethesda themselves made them like that seeing as they are Invincible in the Game.

#34 Posted by TomA (2531 posts) -

At least there's a mod to kill them in Skyrim, in real life, you're out of luck.

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