I Punch Giants: How to Become a Master of Unarmed Combat

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#1 Edited by LordXavierBritish (6320 posts) -

So you think it's impossible to kill a dragon with your bare hands huh? To beat a giant to death or take down an armored behemoth with your own two hands just because there's no skill tree.

Well guess what, you never will. You're a quitter and quitters have no place amongst the honorable ranks of the unarmed elite.

You need only four things to be an effective hand to hand duelist:

Kahjiit: Start off with a passive +15 to unarmed attacks, this is what makes the unarmed warrior the most powerful threat early game.

Heavy Armor: I take the full tree since you are going to be right up in the enemy's face at all times, but you only need 30 points to get the Fist of Steel perk that will make any gauntlet's armor rating your attack damage.

Smithing: Armor is your weapon. Improve your fucking armor.

Enchantment: This is what will make you truly deadly. Once you get the power to enchat you will be able to add Unarmed bonuses to all your god damn armor and become a wrecking machine.

First you must make a new character, Kahjiit. This is not fucking negiotable unless you want to have horrendous early game damage output unless use weapons but then you're a fucking pussy. The first thing you'll need to do is kill an Imperial guard and take his armor, not the light shit the REAL FUCKING ARMOR. Equip it and start swinging, take a few hits when you can because you're gonna want to get those Heavy Armor levels in as soon as possibly. After completing the intro make a beeline for Whiterun. This is not required but it is the fastest way to do this shit so just fucking do it. Once there go immedaitely to the Hall of the Dead and accept the quest for finding the priest's pendant. Go into the catacombs and immediately one shot two skeletons because you're so fucking manly. Now let the other one hit you while you run around and heal yourself with the Healing spell. This is the most efficent way to level it to 30 early game because you won't have any random bull shit happening to you the skeleton doesn't hit hard enough to really cause any threat to you. You should then have enough experience from both Restoration and Heavy Armor at that point to buy the Fists of Steel perk and start plowing through fuckers.

Now that you are truly a god among men, do whatever the fuck you want to do in Whiterun and then immediately head for Riften. Do what you need to to get into town and find Brynjolf who will ask you to do some ill ass shit. Do it, fuck moral principles DO IT. He will give you a quest to find him in some shitty bar but fuck that that isn't why we are here. Follow the quest marker to the Ratwys where you'll immediately be attacked by some dudes. Kill them, all of them. Eventually you'll find a man named something the Fist. I don't remember his name, the important thing is he has a pair of iron gauntlets that give you +10 to unarmed attacks. RIP THOSE OFF HIS BLOODY CORPSE. Now get your Enchanting up and then burn those suckers so you can bind it onto every fucking single piece of armor you have. Think it just goes on gauntlets? Nope. Rings, Necklaces, fucking everything. Put it on fucking everything.

After that you're pretty much set, take whatever other perks and level whatever skills you think best suit your stlye of play. I personally perfer Alteration for the added armor and Restoration for the healing, but hell maybe you want to raise zombies or shoot lightning. Go ahead, just remember if you use weapons ever you are a fucking coward.

Now go punch a dragon square in its smug fucking face.

#2 Edited by MEATBALL (3504 posts) -

Smithing would probably also be handy since you'd be able to make awesome heavy armour gauntlets and improve them to flawless for even more damage. Unarmed Khajit is probably what I'll go with if I ever do a second playthrough.

#3 Posted by coakroach (2492 posts) -

I tip my hat to you, good sir

#4 Posted by mano521 (1232 posts) -

this was honestly the best thing i have read in at least a year. i will dedicate a playthrough to this now.

thank you sir.

#5 Posted by JCTango (1366 posts) -

That was a pretty fun read xD.

#6 Posted by Tim_the_Corsair (3065 posts) -

Your fucking writing style suited the fucking topic fucking perfectly.

In fact, you made me want to be a fucking catman and go cuntpunch some dicktits of a dragon.

duck.

#7 Posted by thebatmobile (983 posts) -

Best read this week.

#8 Posted by RandomInternetUser (6789 posts) -

I really wish I could follow you harder.

#9 Posted by fetchfox (1364 posts) -

Man, I feel like making a new character and go fuck up a dragon. Get all Fist of the North Star on Skyrim!

#10 Posted by President_Barackbar (3474 posts) -

I honestly have no idea why they insist on keeping unarmed combat a thing in these games. Even in Fallout, which has power fists and such. It just seems really dumb. Why punch people when you can use a sword. It's 100x easier and you'll do way more damage than you ever could unarmed.

#11 Posted by TaliciaDragonsong (8607 posts) -

The voice of inspiration.

#12 Posted by RedRoach (1216 posts) -

that was so awesome to read I'm gonna go start a new game just for this.

#13 Posted by LordXavierBritish (6320 posts) -

@President_Barackbar said:

I honestly have no idea why they insist on keeping unarmed combat a thing in these games. Even in Fallout, which has power fists and such. It just seems really dumb. Why punch people when you can use a sword. It's 100x easier and you'll do way more damage than you ever could unarmed.

False.

The best weapon I have found on this character so far has been a two handed steel greatsword that deals 18 damage.

My fists currently deal a minimum of 40 damage.

#14 Posted by President_Barackbar (3474 posts) -

@LordXavierBritish: Well with equivalent weapon skill I'm sure said sword would WAY outclass your fists.

#15 Posted by TobbRobb (4850 posts) -

@President_Barackbar: Now the real question though, what is more badass?

Pro tip: It's punching a dragon to death.

#16 Posted by President_Barackbar (3474 posts) -

@TobbRobb said:

@President_Barackbar: Now the real question though, what is more badass?

Pro tip: It's punching a dragon to death.

Not unless the people you punch EXPLODE as well. PC modders need to get on a Fist of the North Star mod RIGHT NOW. THEN I will accept this crazy unarmed nonsense.

#17 Posted by TobbRobb (4850 posts) -

@President_Barackbar: This is true, I miss my flying carpet and midas hand ;(.

#18 Posted by Stahlbrand (840 posts) -

@LordXavierBritish: Plus 1 to you good sir! Bookmarked for my second character.

I had a fisting Khajiit in Oblivion who fucking ruled, and I was going to remake him as my thief/DB character in Skyrim - and with your good info, that will turn out well.

#19 Posted by Village_Guy (2667 posts) -

They said I was fucking crazy. They said that I can't go punch a fucking dragon in its fucking face.

Now they're dead and so are the dragon.

#20 Posted by MannyMAR (526 posts) -

@President_Barackbar said:

@TobbRobb said:

@President_Barackbar: Now the real question though, what is more badass?

Pro tip: It's punching a dragon to death.

Not unless the people you punch EXPLODE as well. PC modders need to get on a Fist of the North Star mod RIGHT NOW. THEN I will accept this crazy unarmed nonsense.

They better make sure they add some SFX from the show while they're add it, Doom WAD Style.

#21 Posted by SMTDante89 (2588 posts) -

I'm requiring myself to do this during my second playthrough.

#22 Posted by AtholTul (1 posts) -

Just tried to enchant my first piece with Fortify Unarmed, would only let me do Bracers :(

Probably doing something wrong, Google came up blank.

#23 Posted by Skittlenizzle (72 posts) -

You sir, are my hero.

I have a feeling I will try this next playthrough.

#24 Posted by Meteora (5787 posts) -

Oh wow.

I'm totally going to have to try this out now.

#25 Posted by Chubbaluphigous (571 posts) -

@LordXavierBritish: I just started the game and have been punching everybody I can so far. However I don't want to wear a bunch of heavy armor. Is it worth it to level heavy armor up to 30 just to get the fists of steel perk and then to continue with light armor? I will obviously be wearing the heavy gauntlets. I would much rather play a stealthy assassin than big loud dude in heavy armor, but I still want to punch dudes to death.

#26 Posted by Nentisys (893 posts) -

The fact you can put that fucking unarmed dmg bonus to every apparel available is fucking awesome.

#27 Posted by ImperiousRix (2963 posts) -

My question is, are there custom kill animations for unarmed combat like all the rest of the other weapons?

Because if so, I was highly considering putting some kind of focus on unarmed combat just for funsies.

#28 Edited by Kyreo (4602 posts) -

Step one, Make a Kaijit character.

EDIT: This was a pretty great read, by the way!

#29 Posted by Stahlbrand (840 posts) -

@ImperiousRix said:

My question is, are there custom kill animations for unarmed combat like all the rest of the other weapons?

Because if so, I was highly considering putting some kind of focus on unarmed combat just for funsies.

Oooh, say it is so. I would love some gnarly barehanded gloryshots.

#30 Posted by NHK (4 posts) -

@ImperiousRix said:

My question is, are there custom kill animations for unarmed combat like all the rest of the other weapons?

Because if so, I was highly considering putting some kind of focus on unarmed combat just for funsies.

Yep. You're punching guys, girls, things in the head and throwing them to the ground.

#31 Posted by TehBuLL (615 posts) -

Fucking greatness. One of the best Skyrim threads yet. Now I HAVE to try this.

#32 Posted by LordXavierBritish (6320 posts) -

@Chubbaluphigous said:

@LordXavierBritish: I just started the game and have been punching everybody I can so far. However I don't want to wear a bunch of heavy armor. Is it worth it to level heavy armor up to 30 just to get the fists of steel perk and then to continue with light armor? I will obviously be wearing the heavy gauntlets. I would much rather play a stealthy assassin than big loud dude in heavy armor, but I still want to punch dudes to death.

Your armor rating is essentially your damage output so the more points you put in the Heavy Armor tree the more damage you're doing. I'm not 100% sure if you level up as fast if you're only wearing part of the set, it may just be that you want to steal a ton of fucking gold and have someone train your Heavy Armor level up.

#33 Posted by BraveToaster (12588 posts) -

This thread has been brought to you by Old Spice.

#34 Posted by imsh_pl (3314 posts) -

I wanted to follow you for this post but then I saw I already am.

That's what we call thinking ahead.

#35 Posted by makari (600 posts) -

Won't let me enchant anything but bracers and rings with fortify unarmed.

But whatever, PUNCHING

#36 Edited by Robo (817 posts) -

When I saw the title I must admit I immediately thought to myself, "Self, why would you want to run around punching dudes when you're literally tripping over weapons in this game?"

Then I read the post.

Shit, man. Now I gotta go re-roll.

#37 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

Now I want to buy Skyrim, just so I can make a Sexyface character and make him an expert in fisting. (After the gay pirate thing, I feel it fitting. (I'd turn that into a pun, but mind telling me how you combine the words "fist" and "fit"? Not so easy, is it?))

#38 Posted by AlmostSwedish (634 posts) -

Shit, I have to buy Skyrim so I can become a man.

#39 Posted by LordXavierBritish (6320 posts) -

So apparently Rings, Necklaces, and Bracers are the only things you can enchant with +Unarmed.

I really should have done better research before posting this.

Still put it on all that fucking shit though.

#40 Posted by BlinkyTM (1046 posts) -

I like my sword. :}

#41 Posted by Vexxan (4614 posts) -
@thebatmobile said:

Best read this week.

#42 Posted by Arker101 (1472 posts) -

@Vexxan said:

@thebatmobile said:

Best read this week.

Truly, this is the age of LordXavierBritish.

#43 Posted by Freezer_Burn (207 posts) -

I originally planned to make an unarmed combat character so I could make jokes about being a fireball throwing martial artist hunting down dragon balls. When I discovered that there was no actual unarmed skill, and that Cat-people had the natural bonus, I decided against it. Maybe I'll make on down the line.

#44 Posted by ArbitraryWater (12130 posts) -

Well, this fucking post is fucking awesome because it fucking says fucking a fucking lot fucking. And it's also about making a fucking gimmicky racial bonus an actual fucking viable fucking build fucking fuck.

I feel like my mom should wash my mouth out with soap now.

#45 Posted by RsistncE (4496 posts) -

@Stahlbrand said:

@LordXavierBritish: Plus 1 to you good sir! Bookmarked for my second character.

I had a fisting Khajiit in Oblivion who fucking ruled, and I was going to remake him as my thief/DB character in Skyrim - and with your good info, that will turn out well.

I'm sure this was accidental.

#46 Posted by falling_fast (2285 posts) -

I like the cut of yr jib, sir. *followed*

#47 Posted by punkxblaze (2990 posts) -

I went to follow you, only to realize I already was. I'm not even close to done with playthrough one, but I can already see playthrough two in my future at Batman: Lord of Catmans.

#48 Posted by MikkaQ (10344 posts) -

Good tips, but you're forgetting something:

SMITHING!

Upgrade that skill quickfast, cause then you can improve your armor rating on anything your own, especially Gauntlets. If that perks translates your armor rating into attack power, you're going to want to have the most upgraded gauntlets possible. This can only happen if you have a good smithing skill. Otherwise, you're just throwing really easy attack bonuses out the window.

#49 Posted by Alphazero (1548 posts) -

You seem like a nice young man.

#50 Posted by Noccee (57 posts) -

Hmm this should be nominated to topic of the year. Will follow and hope for more awesomeness

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