What's the stupidest name you've given to an enchanted item?

#1 Posted by johnLongview (131 posts) -

As soon as I saw that enchanting items allows you to rename them, I set about making sure that all my items have generic fantasy titles - my flaming bow is named "Trollbane," etc.

Then I named my fire-resistant boots "The Hotsteppers," and realized I'd totally been missing the opportunity to give my gear really really stupid names. Any good ones that you all have done?

And yes, my character is a lyrical gangster.

#2 Edited by 1Gorebash1 (73 posts) -

I haven't enchanted anything yet but I did cock up the character name entry. Due to my eagerness I hit enter too early and my normal handle of "Gorebash" is now "Gorbas"......My khajiit has a lisp :(

#3 Posted by Breadfan (6586 posts) -

Doof Blade.

#4 Posted by Dagbiker (6898 posts) -

Katie (ex-gf name) soul sucking mace

#5 Posted by Sparky_Buzzsaw (5794 posts) -

The Bobbitt, a shock-enchanted dagger.

I also named a set of dragonscale armor for an NPC companion Bobbum, after an episode of The League. I sorta liked that one.

Moderator
#6 Posted by DrPockets000 (2859 posts) -

Have not enchanted yet but I named my unarmed Khajiit Harry Potter. I have to imagine that my enchanted gauntlets will be called Gauntlets of Fisting or some other similar immature name.

#7 Posted by GodsMistakeXx (134 posts) -

Named my fire enchanted wood cutting axe, "Todd"

and a dagger Lil Stab stab the soul sucker

#8 Posted by ADAMWD (499 posts) -

@johnLongview said:

As soon as I saw that enchanting items allows you to rename them, I set about making sure that all my items have generic fantasy titles - my flaming bow is named "Trollbane," etc.

Then I named my fire-resistant boots "The Hotsteppers," and realized I'd totally been missing the opportunity to give my gear really really stupid names. Any good ones that you all have done?

And yes, my character is a lyrical gangster.

That's funny, I found a sword in a cave that was named "Trollbane"

#9 Edited by plaintomato (598 posts) -

I'm not enchanting in Skyrim just because I already know where I want my perks and there's no room for crafting or enchanting perks so I don't bother with it. But I had a "Hood of Oh Shit I'm on Fire" in Oblivion. It did like 1 point of fire damage per second and I could plant it on somebody and they'd put it on and run around on fire.

I used to love crafting spells too, I had a "Jet Ski" spell that cast water-walking and super-speed on my horse...until it ran out and we sank...ah, the memories.

#10 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -
#11 Posted by johnLongview (131 posts) -

@Axxol: DAMMIT. I did a search for "renamed," "renaming,"etc.

#12 Posted by Grimhild (719 posts) -

I have a habit of assigning simple titles to unfitting objects. My tall, blond and handsome Nordic highwayman "Manfrenjensenden" is wielding the "Fluffernutter Herring" in one hand and the "Tenebrous Turkey Baster" in the other.

#13 Posted by Twitchey (865 posts) -

I named one axe "butt" and another "rape" so when I duel wield them it's buttrape. 

#14 Posted by AiurFlux (899 posts) -

Bjorn's Bane, Bjorn's Bjorn, Bjornhammer, Bjorneraxe.

My characters name is Bjorn, just in case you couldn't tell.

#15 Posted by Omelet_Pants (163 posts) -

I named a mace "Mr. Wiggles," which is named after my penis.

#16 Posted by Codeacious (957 posts) -

I called a Daedric Sword "The Dickripper."

#17 Posted by AcidBrandon18 (651 posts) -

Satan's Bow of Flame (Deadric bow)

#18 Posted by beckley205 (310 posts) -

My bow is the Penetrator and my Daedic Sword is Balllicker

#19 Posted by rasko9 (70 posts) -

made a really dope potion and named it phoenix down, and then i took an arrow in the knee. gotcha! lmaoo

#20 Edited by Spoonman671 (4371 posts) -

I made a fortify pickpocketing ring and named it "Groping Band."

#21 Posted by Sparky_Buzzsaw (5794 posts) -

@Grimhild: Those names are brilliant.

Moderator
#22 Posted by wubb (277 posts) -

I'm boring. Most of my stuff is named so it groups alphabetically and I know what it does at a glance. Restoration + Conj Necklace, Restoration + Conj Ring, etc.

I did name my bow that absorbs stamina + causes fire damage 'Bow of the Phoenix.' Maybe that name would work better if it trapped souls + fire damage...

#23 Posted by johnLongview (131 posts) -

@ADAMWD: So wait, you're telling me that the dumb sword name that I mentioned in my unknowingly-already-created topic is already IN THE DAMN GAME?

DAMMIT. Shows what I get for starting my first topic.

In other news, my awesome magicka-boosting gauntlets are called the "Planestouchers," for maximum creepiness.

#24 Posted by Sjosz (482 posts) -

Stick.

#25 Posted by Galiant (2163 posts) -

I'm very serious about my naming conventions. A lot of silly crap in this thread. If I try to make a funny item, I stay classy.

Seriously guys.

Seriously.

#26 Posted by ADAMWD (499 posts) -

By the way, can you re-name items on the console versions? In Oblivion you could, but I don't see a button prompt listed for it in any of the menus.

#27 Posted by SamFo (1511 posts) -

I have called everything "BIG PICKLE" and I add roman numerals. eg "BIG PICKLE VII"

#28 Posted by johnLongview (131 posts) -

@ADAMWD: Do you mean re-rename? As in, "I enchanted this awesome helmet and named it Drill Bucket," but now I want to change the name again? Then, no. On console (360, at least), the option to rename is only presented when you enchant an item. It's at the bottom of the screen, after you've chosen the stuff to enchant, but before you hit craft.

I haven't gotten the dual-enchanting perk yet, so not sure if you could change the name again when putting a second enchant on a given item.

#29 Posted by TheDudeOfGaming (6077 posts) -

Dicktits, I've killed thousands of enemies with Dicktits.

#30 Posted by Arkasai (701 posts) -

I guess I'd just seen that episode of South Park when starting the game because for some reason I named my character SpoogeCoveredBlowjobQueen. Haven't named any weapons yet though that sounds fun.

#31 Posted by pjacobson21 (198 posts) -

Sting

#32 Posted by Milkman (16222 posts) -

People actually name their items? Weird.

#33 Posted by ArbitraryWater (10992 posts) -

I enchanted a bow once. I called it... The Burning Bow of Bro. That was then followed up by its more powerful counterpart: The Burning Bow of Bro II. Yes. All because it rhymed.

Otherwise, I've been going with some pretty standard Diablo-esque naming conventions here. Fancy Ring of De-Burdening is among my favorites.

#34 Posted by CJduke (779 posts) -

@Dagbiker said:

Katie (ex-gf name) soul sucking mace

@AiurFlux said:

Bjorn's Bane, Bjorn's Bjorn, Bjornhammer, Bjorneraxe.

My characters name is Bjorn, just in case you couldn't tell.

@isnipeyoudie said:

I called a Daedric Sword "The Dickripper."

@beckley205 said:

My bow is the Penetrator and my Daedic Sword is Balllicker

hahahahahahaha

#35 Posted by AndrewB (7189 posts) -

@Twitchey said:

I named one axe "butt" and another "rape" so when I duel wield them it's buttrape.

Do you wield the Butt in you left hand and the other in your right?

#36 Posted by BlinkyTM (1054 posts) -

Default.

Never named any of my stuff lol.

#37 Posted by Brodehouse (9370 posts) -

I was watching the old X-Men animated series while playing Skyrim.

Covered With Scorpions
I Go Where I Wanna Go
Shut Up Gumbo
Keeping Me From What I Want

The voice acting in that show is so great.

#38 Posted by Twitchey (865 posts) -
@AndrewB said:

@Twitchey said:

I named one axe "butt" and another "rape" so when I duel wield them it's buttrape.

Do you wield the Butt in you left hand and the other in your right?

Yes I do. Rapebutt sounds weird and immature. 
#39 Posted by CrimsonNoir (391 posts) -

I was giving my enchanted gear epic fantasy names, but making sillier names is much more fun. Made some glass boots with fortified weight carrying called Air of Jordan's.

#40 Posted by Atlas (2400 posts) -

Um, my current armour and weapons are all named Azgad's Daedric Sword and Azgad's Daedric Boots etc.

I also never abused the ability to name your rival in the Pokemon games, nor did I give a Pokemon a silly or witty nickname.

In the Legend of Zelda games that let you name your character, mine was always called Link.

Do I lose?

#41 Posted by l4wd0g (1815 posts) -

Jim Darkmagic's staff of Jim Darkmagic's magic missile

#42 Posted by RIDEBIRD (1229 posts) -

For some reason I can't stop naming shit 'bro'

Mace of Brolag Bro

Stabberbro

Bowbro

#43 Edited by Seppli (9730 posts) -

My character takes pride in his item creation. I imagine a future where his crafts are legendary and sought after artifacts of legend. My character's name is Griff Swordsright, so there's lots of Griff's XY and Swordsright's XY. Upgrades got the prefix Mighty. Leading to items with names like Mighty Griff's Reaper or Swordsright's Judgement. Though I got a bit lazy. Currently just sporting Griff's XY-what it does. Griff's Craft Set, Griff's Magic Set, Griff's Ninja Set...

#44 Edited by briangodsoe (487 posts) -

"TERRORBLADE"

Not only is it dumb, but it's spelled in caps! Entirely by accident I assure you.

#45 Posted by MideonNViscera (2257 posts) -

I have 100 enchanting and never noticed I could name the items haha

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