The Incredible Hulk

 The Incredible Hulk game, based on the movie, is not terribly good. Did I enjoy myself? Somewhat. A total of five crashes in probably 12 hours of gameplay was the biggest problem. This is especially a problem when progress wasn't saved, and you're trying to farm a stupid fucking achievement about knocking down buildings. Missions were repetitive, and for someone who is doing heroic things on these missions (destroying bad guys for example, or destroying bombs that would kill civilians), the game certainly has no problem with you leveling half the city, including the EMPIRE STATE BUILDING. I also don't know how I feel about the empty hole with construction equipment where the World Trade Center used to be. I know we can't seem to build anything in the real world, but would it have killed you to put in a fake memorial park in the imaginary world?

One of the things that annoyed me most is how it treated rage. You get rage by hitting things. But think about this. When something pisses you off, and you go to the gym to blow off steam, you may go to a punching bag. And you hit the bag a lot and then you FEEL LESS ANGRY. You know what would seriously piss me off, though? If that bag hit me fucking back! They should have made Rage something that built off of being HIT, not the reverse. Now the game had a feat you could achieve to unlock something like this, but I still think it's a fundamental flaw.

Okay, so on to ratings. 

It took me about two hours to get frustrated, and that was due to crashes. Gameplay frustration came from a more or less easy game, and then suddenly having to fight a couple-three gimmicky villains that can only really be hurt by doing one or two specific things. This is not a fucking martial arts game where only drunken pregnant monkey style can defeat two dogs fucking style. It's the Incredible Hulk game. He shouldn't have to wait around until the Abomination is dizzy (from his own actions, mind you) in order to hurt him. HULK JUST SMASHES! HULK IS STRONGEST ONE OF ALL! How fucking hard a concept is that? Give the Abomination 10 times Hulks health if you want, or let him regenerate at a good clip, but EVERY punch from Hulk should hurt. That goes for just about every villain in this game. 

I farmed some achievements, but didn't feel like keeping the rental for any longer just to farm more. I dislike games where the playthrough doesn't lead to at least 500 achievement points. More than half of them have to be farmed, it seems, by doing repetitive bits or "Hulk Races." One of these mini-games, I shit you not, is called Hulk the Cabbie, where you grab cabs and carries them to their destinations. What the fuck? Why not just another one called "Hulk the Crack Whore," where Hulk gives hand jobs for cheap drugs in the back alley behind Stark Tower?

Graphics were pretty good, but the voice acting was shit. They even got the five biggest characters to do the voice work, but it sounded like they were just talking to themselves and without context. 

Out of 10 points, where 10 is a GREAT GAME that I will happily play years from now, and 1 is a total fart fuck of a game that makes me wish I had never started playing games in the first place, I'll give this a 5. I don't hate myself for playing it, and parts of it were fun, but I can't imagine wanting to go back to it and only think a Hulk fan or a person looking for repetitive, non-challenging game would really enjoy this.