( Well, this is certainly a surprise.) Some time ago (I've no way of knowing, and you'll see why soon), me and Mento got into a bidding war as to who would win ArbitraryWater's copy of a certain game. (I'll mention which one soon enough.) Somehow, we both one, but with one stipulation: a duel of the blogs. Mento's probably taking the high road with stick figure comics, and instead of lowering myself to his level by creating a sprite comic of the game, I'll sink even further with a Let's Play of...
THE TEMPLE OF ELEMENTAL EVIL!
( I HAD TO.) As this is my very first LP, I want to make a goo...wait, I did TWO of the fuckers already? How? Well, it seems that the first one was a screenshot LP, and the second a video LP, so I'll go for the perfect trinity with a text LP. (Man, that's an oddly high amount of T running through all this.) Basically, I'll just write about my experiences with the game and post them whenever I feel that I've enough content for an update. That last part is my way of keeping this a blind LP, but without sacrificing meaningful progress. (It also means that updating will most likely be sporadic as fuck, but that's a problem for another day.) Oh, but there's one twist to this formula (two if you count Sexyface busting his way into this): no opinions. I'm saving that for the end, when I traditionally blog about this beast of a game. This isn't going to be a play-by-play review of some type. How long will it take to break that very simple rule? Let's see in my first update:
So, after waiting a while for it to download (during which time I had to wrest a knife away from my computer's throat), install (thanks, Vista), apply some mod, and fuck around to get it to my liking (oddly easy), the game finally begins. I view a cinematic that's fantasy as fuck (that's what I wrote in my notes), and then get to the character creation. Oddly, it doesn't begin with creating characters, but choosing a party alignment. I went with Lawful Neutral, mainly because while I am a King, I don't necessarily give a shit. (Again, I must preserve my objectivity.) Then came the character creation. Now after much deliberation and discussion with Bushwald Sexyface, this was the party I decided on:
- Bushwald Sexyface in the lead. He's a human warrior who fights for the power of Sexy. He has persuasive, nimble fingers. I think that explains itself.
- Neutralio, my elfen mage. He specializes in the long forgotten art of absolutely not giving a shit about anything. He'd worship the god of not giving a shit (yes, there is one), but that would require shits that he does not care to have. He will, of course, be voiced by Carrie Gordon.
- OK, we need some ladies in this party. Who else is going to feel uncomfortable around a man who only wears roller skates and a G string? In enters Issril, my half-elf cleric. Hopefully, she'll be the character who rallies all the others to get shit done.
- And just to balance things out, another female! This time, her name is Banthor, a half-elf rogue. You'd think that she'd have a lot to talk about with Issril, but there's one twist: Banthor is a reckless nihilist bent on destroying anything with twenty feet of her. This means that Issril and Sexyface will spend half their time trying to rein in Banthor while Neutralio picks his nose or something.
- Finally, another guy! Standing in at less than three feet tall, it's Falior, the halfling monk. Angry at a world that has made him this way (or me, given that I made him so short and then called him a halfling), he has decided to punch everybody he sees from the bottom up. Sexyface has taken him under his wing to try to teach him not to be so angry at the world. What a mistake that will be.