Everyone has their own "thing" when it comes to determining the graphical capabilities of a given console. For awhile, people used water effects. Or, once Gran Turismo 3 came around, folks started staring at models of cars to see how powerful a game console was. Heck, for awhile, the notion of in-game models that could actually sweat was the clearest sign that basketball game graphics are becoming more and more realistic.

But my benchmark just blew away into the wind. Esteemed news outlet TMZ is reporting that Triple H has cut his hair.

As far as I'm concerned, the only way we're going to know if a PlayStation Orbis or Xbox Durango are capable video gaming devices is to look at the mane of HHH. And it's been this way for years, really. Seriously, go on back to the N64 and take a look around. See what THQ was able to do back then with The Game's long, stringy, sort-of-crappy, usually wet mop. Actually, don't go back. I already went back for you. Look at this shot from WWF Wrestlemania 2000:

Or these shots from WWF No Mercy!

Now check it against a more modern rendition of the professional wrestler that's poised to pretty much run the WWE someday.

See? Not even close. Ipso facto, modern machines are more powerful than older ones. And we wouldn't ever be able to come to this conclusion if it wasn't for Triple H's classic 'do. So it's with some sadness that I bring this report to you, dear reader. The only consolation I can offer is that every time an longtime pro wrestler cuts off his shitty heavy metal hair, the easier it is to see them calling moves in the ring. And, really, isn't that what sports entertainment is all about?

Everyone has their own "thing" when it comes to determining the graphical capabilities of a given console. For awhile, people used water effects. Or, once Gran Turismo 3 came around, folks started staring at models of cars to see how powerful a game console was. Heck, for awhile, the notion of in-game models that could actually sweat was the clearest sign that basketball game graphics are becoming more and more realistic.

But my benchmark just blew away into the wind. Esteemed news outlet TMZ is reporting that Triple H has cut his hair.

As far as I'm concerned, the only way we're going to know if a PlayStation Orbis or Xbox Durango are capable video gaming devices is to look at the mane of HHH. And it's been this way for years, really. Seriously, go on back to the N64 and take a look around. See what THQ was able to do back then with The Game's long, stringy, sort-of-crappy, usually wet mop. Actually, don't go back. I already went back for you. Look at this shot from WWF Wrestlemania 2000:

Or these shots from WWF No Mercy!

Now check it against a more modern rendition of the professional wrestler that's poised to pretty much run the WWE someday.

See? Not even close. Ipso facto, modern machines are more powerful than older ones. And we wouldn't ever be able to come to this conclusion if it wasn't for Triple H's classic 'do. So it's with some sadness that I bring this report to you, dear reader. The only consolation I can offer is that every time an longtime pro wrestler cuts off his shitty heavy metal hair, the easier it is to see them calling moves in the ring. And, really, isn't that what sports entertainment is all about?

the hell?

Was so damn close

Poor Jeff.

Triple H has no concept of the weight of his crimes, does he?

Madness!

Just use "Classic Triple H." In the games, I mean. Retro costumes.

This is going to blur the line between the console generations even more!!

Godbless you gerts man.

WHAT THE FUCK!

Best Article ever!

RIP HHH's Hair

sad face

We are incapable of telling if graphics have improved now.

September 5th, 2012. Worst day in history.

Goddamn, I love me some Botchamania.

Sometimes Jeff just hits it out of the park.

God bless Gerstmann.

Probably the best and worst news story ever posted on the site.

A botchamania youtube video in a news article on Giantbomb? My life is complete. THANK YOU BASED GERSTMANN.

LMAO

I would like to buy Triple H's hair.

He doesn't even look like Triple H in that first pic. The haircut paired with the suit seems...lawyer worthy. A sad day indeed.

End of an era

I have suddenly lost all perspective on the world around me.

How will we know if the Durango is superior now!?

Damn you, Paul Levesque! Damn you!

Wrestling ponytails are on their death bed, Paul Heyman is clinging to an era.

Jeff, you are truly a comedic genius.

THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT

But WWE13 including not one, not two, but three Triple H variants means that long-haired Triple H can live on in the medium of people wishing it was still the Attitude era, and so, assuming this ideology continues, a lack of long-haired Triple H could well not be a problem. Basically, this article is poorly researched, and is indicative of the embarrassingly poor quality of video game journalism, and you should feel ashamed of yourself for this blatant fishing for article hits.
 
Also Triple H looks fucking stupid with short hair.

Jeff this is one of the many reasons why I like your style.

@Demoskinos said:

A botchamania youtube video in a news article on Giantbomb? My life is complete. THANK YOU BASED GERSTMANN.

This is easily my favorite article on any game site. I have ALWAYS judged tech and especially the quality of a wrestling game from his hair. RIP HHH's hair.

Top rated journalism.

But no, seriously, in game hair sucks. I can't think of a single game that does it right.

ROFL

I think he was the last one, right? Jericho, Edge, Christian...I can't think of anyone else, and I'm ignoring DX/NWO nonsense.

Also, TMZ...that's not really "shaving his head". He just cut it short.

Calm down Jeff, Hunter has done this before, he shaved his head at the 2010 tribute to the troops. I assume the pure golden locks were melted down and donated to a venterancy fund of some kind.

Point is... It'll grow back like before.

Thank You Hunter *clap clap clapclapclap* Thank You Hunter

The end of an era.

DAMMIT

LEAVE THE MEMORIES ALONE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

LOL I like how this is an article 

Didn't even lay it down in a hair match. No sense for the business!

@Brisaac said:

Top rated journalism. But no, seriously, in game hair sucks. I can't think of a single game that does it right.

Alice: Madness Returns comes to mind, but I can't think of any "realistic" game with good hair.

Madness!

Just use "Classic Triple H." In the games, I mean. Retro costumes.

more of this please

I love this website so goddamn much.

THANKS OBAMA

Wrestlemania 2000, good times...

This is a sad day in sports entertainment.

So... "Triple H's mane" confirmed as a card for the Giant Bomb Edition of Cards Against Humanity?

Never seen a botchamania video before. Man.