463 Comments
Posted by Nightfang

I won't sugarcoat it, a lot of you need to pull the sticks out of your asses.

Posted by LordWaffleMoose

Hmm interesting. I've always regarded the Hitman games as being one of the more intelligent, strategic stealth games. Hopefully we get to see some more gameplay and story line trailers to give us a better feel for what the actual game will really be like.

Posted by dezvous

@MarkWahlberg: There's no denying that it's there. But it's kind of there in everything, for both men and women. I guess I just didn't see it as much of an issue considering the hitman series and compared to what else we've seen in other more obvious games.

Posted by bonafide

I loved this. I don't care if it's ridiculous and potentially un-Hitman, I loved this anyway.

Posted by cavemantom

Guys, they needed those nun disguises to sneak past that intense motel security. And they needed the dominatrix gear to look totally cool while getting fucking murdered.

The latex is stupid if they're assassins. Removing the nun costumes is stupid if they're assassins. Walking up to the target in a straight line is stupid if they're assassins.

This is cool like Sucker Punch was cool.

Posted by Space_Sandwich

Have you guys forgotten that the Hitman: Blood Money had a mission in which you could dress as Santa Claus and murder strippers with busts that would make Barbie feel inadequate? Or what about the mission where dressing as a big bird is almost necessary on the first run? Perhaps the one where you go into a crazy heaven/hell sex masquerade party and murder a fire-wielding woman by dumping her into a shark tank?

Murderous nuns are kinda ridiculous, but you have to admit Hitman is far from the most straight-faced franchises out there.

And yes, I played Blood Money too many times, WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT!?

Edited by Indiana_Jenkins

I see that a lot of people just now found out about the Hitman franchise.

EDIT: That came out kind of harsh. To be clear, this type of stuff is not the focus of the series. Probably about 1/6 of a regular Hitman game contains weird fetish subject matter. Plus IO always puts enough little stylish touches that you give them a pass.

Tattooed tear was a great touch.

Posted by Claude

I thought it was kind of hot.

Edited by ch3burashka

Having not played any Hitmans (played like an hour of Blood Money and dropped it) I obviously don't have the same reverence the fans do for the series, but if this game lets me fight some sexy battle nuns, I am A-OK with that. The fact that they're wearing literal sex shop bondage gear doesn't make a lot of sense, but my boner is telling me it doesn't have to.

EDIT: Total lolz at the 'The Original Assassin' tagline. They're like, "Fuck that Assassin's Creed shit, buy our game instead!" Ballsy.

Posted by Cybexx

Kind of interesting to see this come out so soon after the Bombcast Hitman discussion. I think in a vacuum its a cool stylish trailer.

I would have preferred something more along the lines of a suspenseful short that shows Agent 47 going in, taking out his targets in a unique way, and getting out with a cool twist at the end but I guess this is more attention grabbing.

"Shoot those women! Take their guns! The Original Assassin". Which by the way, I guess "The Original Assassin" tagline is supposed to be a dig at Assassin's Creed, I guess?

Edited by Aoi

There was a big fetish sex party as a setting in Hitman Contracts. Gotta say, I don't see how this is out of character for the series at all.

Posted by cavemantom

@Space_Sandwich said:

Have you guys forgotten that the Hitman: Blood Money had a mission in which you could dress as Santa Claus and murder strippers with busts that would make Barbie feel inadequate? Or what about the mission where dressing as a big bird is almost necessary on the first run? Perhaps the one where you go into a crazy heaven/hell sex masquerade party and murder a fire-wielding woman by dumping her into a shark tank?

Murderous nuns are kinda ridiculous, but you have to admit Hitman is far from the most straight-faced franchises out there.

And yes, I played Blood Money too many times, WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT!?

Hitman's certainly had its share of craziness, but it's (as far as I remember) always in service of pulling off cool kills.

This looks like lowest-common-denominator titillating bullshit. Maybe I'm missing out on a fuckload of context that the game will provide, but judging by how handily 47 dispatches with these ladies, I'd say the pointless nun disguises and latex bodysuits/booty shorts aren't in service of some yet-unseen narrative masterstroke.

All I see is an excuse to line up a bunch of painstakingly modeled CG asses.

Posted by Killaman996

@whylessness: Graphics are not everything in a game, the gameplay can suck and the graphics be amazing but that does not make that game intersting. Gameply first graohics second is how i see things.

Posted by Oldirtybearon

man, whiners up in here.

I've been playing Hitman games since Silent Assassin on the OG Xbox. There's always been a supremely ridiculous undercurrent of corny stuff in the games. What ends up making those moments work is how seriously IO treats a redneck wedding, for instance. Oh, and dressing up as a clown and poisoning a mafia family that went states. Or seducing said wife. Or knocking out an FBI agent in the teenage girl's room who is sniffing the kids undies every few minutes.

Yeah, real straight-faced series, that Hitman.

Posted by AngelN7

So yeah Jeff (or whoever uploads videos to youtube) is so pissed that he called the trailer Hitman Absolution : Attack of the stupid on the youtube chanel... Videogames you guys have fun.

Posted by FMinus

Video title; on the other hand I hope it is, Tarantino style is missing in games.

Posted by ShakeItBaby

Da fuq

Posted by buzz_clik

Well, that just looked fucking ridiculous.

I'm not not interested.

Moderator
Posted by SJSchmidt93

Damnit, this game is going to dissapoint the fuck out of me, isn't it?

Posted by TheBrainninja

I don't think the problem with the trailer is the sexualized nun-types, but rather that it's just...stupid. It's stupidly scripted, it isn't "cool," unless maybe you're 15? But it's not even well-choreographed action, regardless of how un-representative it is of Hitman as a whole.

It's kind of like a scene from No More Heroes or something, only played straight. Sexy ladies standing in a line, shooting at a wall is only at all cool if it's deliberately stupid. I don't get that here.

Posted by nick_verissimo

Please. Tell me more.

Posted by cavemantom

@TheBrainninja said:

I don't think the problem with the trailer is the sexualized nun-types, but rather that it's just...stupid. It's stupidly scripted, it isn't "cool," unless maybe you're 15? But it's not even well-choreographed action, regardless of how un-representative it is of Hitman as a whole.

It's kind of like a scene from No More Heroes or something, only played straight. Sexy ladies standing in a line, shooting at a wall is only at all cool if it's deliberately stupid. I don't get that here.

And then they all get wasted. They don't even put up an entertaining fight. It really makes you wonder where 47 got all those injuries, because it certainly wasn't from this band of dunces.

The worst.

Posted by buckybit

"VIOLENCE AGAINST CATHOLIC NUNS IN A VIDEO GAME" - I can see the headlines in the (real) Vatican newspaper. (But nuns with machine guns was a real "meme" in 1970s exploitation movies - long before Tarantino or Rodriguez stole it).

No Absolution = the Pope does not approve?

Now, after Jeff compared it to The Saints, it can never live up to my idea of the kind of game I want it to be. Damn you - haha ...

Posted by SexualBubblegumX

So does anyone else get a boner when they see Nuns or is it just me?

Posted by Terjay

I'd understand this if there was a convent that was training these BattleNuns(tm) and 47 had to visit there. What I don't understand is this oversexualised and impractical fetish latex wear which looks goddamn ridiculous.

Posted by Korolev

Jesus. This trailer is all sorts of unpleasant and uncomfortable. Ugh.

Posted by Grimhild

@buckybit said:

(But nuns with machine guns was a real "meme" in 1970s exploitation movies - long before Tarantino or Rodriguez stole it).

Thank you. Seriously. I don't have a problem with Tarantino, per say. He makes entertaining homage films. But CHRIST I'm so tired of the manic section of his fanbase thinking every 70's genre or trapping (of which there are many) he regurgitates onto screen is original cinema gold.

Posted by KamasamaK

This made me hard.

Posted by Efesell

I think it's an okay trailer but it's not really one that I want to see for a Hitman game.

Posted by Mustard

I'm getting a big time Assassins Creed Vibe here, more than anything...

Posted by Cirdain

@Korolev said:

Jesus. This trailer is all sorts of unpleasant and uncomfortable. Ugh.

Yeah... bit. Weird.

Posted by RIDEBIRD

Fuck sake

Posted by fatalbanana

This trailer is all types of weird with the first minute or so being live action before going into a not so seamless transition to a video game then the before mentioned awkwardly sexualized BattleNuns(tm). Action was cool I guess but idk just weird... plus that dude punched a lady, maybe im old fashioned but not cool!

Posted by Foxillusion

Some dumb shit right here.

Posted by kavukavu

Never thought I'd say this, but that was a real exciting trailer until the nuns started taking all their clothes off.

Edited by bybeach

I think I may get this after a few viewings. Not at all about the particulars, but the setting, or better the set....maybe.

Definitely some edge-work going on.

I think it has less to do with Tarantino and more with dark almost crazy..

Posted by TheYear20XX

I'm having nun of this.

Posted by oobs

okie dokie... agree about the music though

Posted by dudeglove

To quote someone else on YouTube HOW TWELVE DO YOU NEED TO BE TO THINK THIS IS COOL?

Posted by spilledmilkfactory

What the hell WAS that trash? A bunch of rocket-weilding dominatrix nuns getting into firefights and fisticuffs with 47? Like Jeff said, seems more like something out of Saint's Row than Hitman.

Posted by Foxillusion

@kavukavu said:

Never thought I'd say this, but that was a real exciting trailer until the nuns started taking all their clothes off.

Ahaahahahaha. This.

Posted by dudeglove

@dezvous said:

I can't believe we're making fun of this. This is fucking incredible. Do you guys not remember the absurdity of some of the Hitman Blood Money targets? People dressed up like birds?

None of the targets were in hyper-sexualized gimp suits.

Besides, Kojima already did this, like, 5 years ago. Yawn.

Posted by MattClassic

No. No, no, no. If I wanted goofy shit like this I'd play a Suda51 game.

Posted by HeavyDuty32

Actually, wait, has Saint's Row had a gang of leather hooker nuns yet? GET ON THAT, THQ!

Posted by dark_quota

I liked what I saw.

Posted by Battsey

Any doubts I ever had about this game were put to rest when I played the Sniper Challenge.

This is going to rock.

Posted by sgt_waffles

Did that just happen?

Posted by Grimluck343

Hopefully it's EVERYTHING like this trailer.

Posted by Y2Ken

This trailer would make for a fantastic Jason Statham film.

Hitman game, not so much.

@TSCooler: I would love a game which played like this trailer. But I would also love a Hitman game, and this is not why I want a Hitman game. It's only a trailer though so I'll give it a pass for now.

Posted by Ghostiet
@dudeglove said:

@dezvous said:

I can't believe we're making fun of this. This is fucking incredible. Do you guys not remember the absurdity of some of the Hitman Blood Money targets? People dressed up like birds?

None of the targets were in hyper-sexualized gimp suits.

Well, there was that level in Hitman Contracts, right?

Anyway, this is terrible. I am disgusted with what they did to this franchise.