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Hopefully Hitman: Absolution Is Nothing Like This Trailer

Awesome, it's the new Saints Row: The Third DLC! Wait, what?

May. 30 2012

Posted by: Jeff

In This Episode:

Hitman: Absolution

463 Comments

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MakoTitan

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Edited By MakoTitan

This is awesome

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boboblaw

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Edited By boboblaw

Yeah I watched this earlier, without Agent 47 in the trailer you'd have no idea this was a Hitman trailer.

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Presto

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Edited By Presto

Didn't blood money have a mission where you infiltrated a redneck wedding? And didn't contracts have a mission where you infiltrated a party held by a meat baron who is fat like jabba the hutt?

edit: mainly i was commenting on people saying "NUNS! IO IS RUINING HITMAN".

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LogicReason

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Edited By LogicReason

Well, this was not what I was expecting.

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Sackmanjones

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Edited By Sackmanjones

I agree and hope the game isn't like this but by god that trailer was fuckin cool.

Also that music… fuck man.

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Nekroskop

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Edited By Nekroskop

Can't wait

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thatfrood

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Edited By thatfrood

yeah he didn't get silent assassin on that mission. guy's kind of a bad at this game.

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MakoTitan

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Edited By MakoTitan

When is this due out again? I'm sold on it after this.

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HerbieBug

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Edited By HerbieBug

I already left a nasty comment about this trailer on youtube.  For here I'll just say I agree wholeheartedly with Jeff's description on the vid.  
 
Marketing games like this sucks.  It's not good for anybody.  It's one thing if this were a trailer for Saints Row 4 -that would be AWESOME- but it's not good when the trailer is for a series that is appealing for reasons completely at odds with what this trailer represents.  And I'm not even talking about the nuns.  Hitman has had to wacky villians in the past.  I'm mostly referring to gameplay implications. 

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Pop

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Edited By Pop

Boobs! yay!

Nope, nuns with guns can't make me less hype about this game. I'll play it even if it has giant dancing pink bears.

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bacongames

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Edited By bacongames

Oh man theres going to be a lot more of this isn't it.

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PeasantAbuse

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Edited By PeasantAbuse

@Presto said:

Didn't blood money have a mission where you infiltrated a redneck wedding? And didn't contracts have a mission where you infiltrated a party held by a meat baron who is fat like jabba the hutt?

edit: mainly i was commenting on people saying "NUNS! IO IS RUINING HITMAN".

Yeah, everything about Blood Money was pretty ridiculous.

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Aronman789

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Edited By Aronman789

Enter the Dominatrix?

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Sackmanjones

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Edited By Sackmanjones
@Pop: Maybe the game should have giant dancing pink bears...
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buzz_killington

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Edited By buzz_killington

You guys know nothing about the context. Maybe a bunch of whores want to get back at 47 for something, and it just happened to "Catholic School Night" at the strip club.

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mrpandaman

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Edited By mrpandaman

I thought this was going to be like Assassin's Creed for a second where Agent 47 hides within a group of nuns for some reason dressed up as a nun or as a priest.

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deactivated-629eab11cc270

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Huh.

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TSCooler

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Edited By TSCooler

I dont get why ppl bitching about this trailer ? And what is wrong if the game is like this trailer, it awesome !!

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ILuvMsMarvel

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Edited By ILuvMsMarvel

Nude Nuns with Big Guns

That's the first thing that popped into my head when I started watching this.

Part of the movie takes place on a school bus, and this starts with the nuns walking at camera with a school bus behind them.

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big_jon

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Edited By big_jon

Everything aside from the sexy nuns and gun fight was cool.

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leejunfan83

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Edited By leejunfan83

@whylessness: The inside of an ass

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DocHaus

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Edited By DocHaus

Okay...why are they wearing high-heeled platform shoes? And where did all that rain come from?

@Presto said:

Didn't blood money have a mission where you infiltrated a redneck wedding? And didn't contracts have a mission where you infiltrated a party held by a meat baron who is fat like jabba the hutt?

Yes and yes. And you didn't even get mention the freaky part of the latter assignment (thanks for that, by the way).

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SpunkyHePanda

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Edited By SpunkyHePanda

Oh. Oh man.

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mattbodega

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Edited By mattbodega

It's funny because this trailer contains none of the things that make Hitman awesome.

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jacksukeru

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Edited By jacksukeru

I had forgotten to put in my age in the age gate since changing computers, couldn't have gotten "that message" in a more appropriate video though.

Also, kind of unusual to see a bunch of women so brutally offed in a trailer.

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Mr_Skeleton

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Edited By Mr_Skeleton

I always said that what the Hitman series was missing was latex clad bdsm nun assassins.

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Keldrath

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Edited By Keldrath

I think the trailer looked badass. I've never played a Hitman game, but this looks cool.

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csl316

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Edited By csl316

@ILuvMsMarvel said:

Nude Nuns with Big Guns

That's the first thing that popped into my head when I started watching this.

Part of the movie takes place on a school bus, and this starts with the nuns walking at camera with a school bus behind them.

I just looked that up and apparently Nunsploitation is a genre? I... um... I don't know, man.

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Jonnyflash80

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Edited By Jonnyflash80

Hot nuns dressed as strippers under their robes. Exactly what I'm into. Sold.

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Jackel2072

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Edited By Jackel2072

Sure why not?

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Toxin066

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Edited By Toxin066

@ILuvMsMarvel said:

Nude Nuns with Big Guns

That's the first thing that popped into my head when I started watching this.

Part of the movie takes place on a school bus, and this starts with the nuns walking at camera with a school bus behind them.

I think I saw a trailer for Nude Nuns with Big Guns when I was watching Bowlin in Her Colon 3.

The part where he was strangling fools was the only part that seemed Hitman-y to me.

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skewedsyntax

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Edited By skewedsyntax

well that was interesting.

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Grondoth

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Edited By Grondoth

There's something to be said about the sexualization of violence in videogames, I'm tellin you people.

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Rhombus_Of_Terror

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I want his car...

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Set

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Edited By Set

I never played Hitman and this trailer offends even me.

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Aounslaught

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Edited By Aounslaught

Am I reading too much into this or was the ending tagline, "The Original Assassin" kind of a shot at Assassin's Creed or something?

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autobzooty

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Edited By autobzooty

flaming trash.

hot garbage.

horrible.

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Coafi

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Edited By Coafi

Hey, it could be worse they could have nuns in the.... oh wait.

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warxsnake

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Edited By warxsnake

So like, Hitman Blood money had a mission during mardi gras where you killed people in bird suits. What's the problem with this?

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dragonboss

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Edited By dragonboss

I find it interesting that majority of the comments are saying that this looks like shit and apparently nobody noticed the International Contract Agency tattoos the "nuns" had. Obviously they are all assassins (actually they remind me more of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad), possibly hinting towards a similar thing to the rival assassins in Blood Money.

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MikeFightNight

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Edited By MikeFightNight

Man, that trailer was fucking awesome. As a die hard Hitman fan from the first game I have total trust in what IO will do. I mean it's a trailer, they got to make it look exciting so they can sell it to as many people as possible.

Also, did you see that nose break on the back of 47's head!?

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Lagaroth

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Edited By Lagaroth

I didn't think there would be another trailer this year as awful as that Ghost Recon Coco trailer.

I was wrong.

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prestonhedges

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Edited By prestonhedges

@warxsnake said:

So like, Hitman Blood money had a mission during mardi gras where you killed people in bird suits. What's the problem with this?

People are morons.

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HerbieBug

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Edited By HerbieBug
@h83r said:

Am I reading too much into this or was the ending tagline, "The Original Assassin" kind of a shot at Assassin's Creed or something?

I wondered about this to.  If so, why???  Why do that???
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John-Luke

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Edited By John-Luke

What if they did make it like this? And it was super-serious about it.

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mbr2

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Edited By mbr2

Oh man unintentional hilarity. I just clicked play without putting in my age and the pop-up message was apt to say the least.

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dezvous

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Edited By dezvous

I can't believe we're making fun of this. This is fucking incredible. Do you guys not remember the absurdity of some of the Hitman Blood Money targets? People dressed up like birds?

The cinematography in this trailer is mind-blowing. What a work of art. Love it.

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orange_pork

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Edited By orange_pork

Fuck that, I hope that's exactly what this game is.

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RampageAssassin

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Edited By RampageAssassin

I have no idea why there is hate for this trailer. I can't wait to see new gameplay and to see if they have ruined it or not.