Breaking up is hard to do

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Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -

Hello Wii, we need to talk. We've had a time.

A Wii life on Giant Bomb in pictures.

 Super Swinging was fun!

 Games as bad as my MS Paint.



 Wii Defense Force, hell yeah!

 Oh my.


 I saw a Narwhal in Endless Ocean. I took this picture.

 Tiger Woods PGA Tour with Motion Plus, you'll shoot your eye out kid.

 My 58 in Wii Sports Resort.

 What gamers really want.

 Wii fan working hard.


 Hardcore Wii

 It's a sad story.

 Fun with the Wii.

 Holding on.

 EGM 2005 Revolution?



 You can't kill me with words.
It's come to this. I'm breaking up with you Wii. Maybe it was the fact I went HD that caused our relationship to strain or maybe the lack of Mario Golf or F-Zero, two of my favorite Nintendo franchises. I'll still give you a booty call from time to time and Skyward Sword seems like a nice piece of software. If you don't mind, I'll always plug a few older games in when the need arises. You will not collect dust.

Actually, I just want to see other consoles and see you too. Is that cool? It is? Cool. See you around Wii, see you around. I heard your next generation sister is going to be hot, that's cool right? Incest is best...that's what I was thinking. Let's not get all PC.

Can we be friends?

Yes

Thanks for viewing Claude
#1 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -

Hello Wii, we need to talk. We've had a time.

A Wii life on Giant Bomb in pictures.

 Super Swinging was fun!

 Games as bad as my MS Paint.



 Wii Defense Force, hell yeah!

 Oh my.


 I saw a Narwhal in Endless Ocean. I took this picture.

 Tiger Woods PGA Tour with Motion Plus, you'll shoot your eye out kid.

 My 58 in Wii Sports Resort.

 What gamers really want.

 Wii fan working hard.


 Hardcore Wii

 It's a sad story.

 Fun with the Wii.

 Holding on.

 EGM 2005 Revolution?



 You can't kill me with words.
It's come to this. I'm breaking up with you Wii. Maybe it was the fact I went HD that caused our relationship to strain or maybe the lack of Mario Golf or F-Zero, two of my favorite Nintendo franchises. I'll still give you a booty call from time to time and Skyward Sword seems like a nice piece of software. If you don't mind, I'll always plug a few older games in when the need arises. You will not collect dust.

Actually, I just want to see other consoles and see you too. Is that cool? It is? Cool. See you around Wii, see you around. I heard your next generation sister is going to be hot, that's cool right? Incest is best...that's what I was thinking. Let's not get all PC.

Can we be friends?

Yes

Thanks for viewing Claude
#2 Posted by Gamer_152 (14051 posts) -

Claude, breaking up with his Wii? This can't be! Oh well, nice pictures Claude.

Moderator
#3 Posted by Video_Game_King (36012 posts) -

But I thought you two were here to stay, motherfuckers. You even said so on video.

#4 Posted by Marz (5642 posts) -

  This song just jumped in my head for some reason.

#5 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -
@Gamer_152 said:
" Claude, breaking up with his Wii? This can't be! Oh well, nice pictures Claude. "
If Arnold can break up with Maria, I can leave my Wii. Hey, we're still friends and I get to keep what matters the most in this relationship.
#6 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -

Good thing you didn't get Wii preggers. You're far too young for offspring.

#7 Posted by JJOR64 (18909 posts) -

The last fun game I played through on my Wii was Donkey Kong Country Returns.  I really would love to play a new Wii game, but there just isn't anything that interests me.

I miss my Wii as well, but my Xbox just keeps sucking me in with Street Fighter.

#8 Posted by ThePickle (4153 posts) -

His name is Claude. He loves his Wii, he loves his goddamn Wii.

#9 Posted by Skullo (646 posts) -

OH NO!

#10 Edited by Claude (16254 posts) -
@Video_Game_King said:

" But I thought you two were here to stay, motherfuckers. You even said so on video. "

Here to stay and loving my fucking Wii are two different things. I will still love my Wii, but in a booty call fashion. I'm here to stay on Giant Bomb as in motherfuckers.

And yes, I'm using a lot of sexual innuendo, but that's fun.
#11 Posted by Afroman269 (7387 posts) -

Nice collection of pictures. I kinda miss the Wii Defense Force.

#12 Posted by Kyreo (4600 posts) -

I promise, Claude, that I will read this later and respond thoughtfully.  I promise.

#13 Posted by Daveyo520 (6652 posts) -

BUT YOU LOVE YOUR WII! NOOOO! How could you!? You can't do this to it! You just can't! ;_;

#14 Posted by KaosAngel (13765 posts) -

Finally.  

If you're still gaming on a Wii, it's time you upgrade.  Pick up a nice PS3 and enjoy the fresh library of exclusives.  Nintendo made the best mistake of any company's life with the Wii.

#15 Posted by JJWeatherman (14557 posts) -

Claude, nooooo! You're not Claude anymore without your undying Wii-love! We're gonna have to edit the GB Community song now. Do you realize that? Do you realize the implications of your actions?! This is easily the most irresponsible thing I've ever witnessed!


*mumbles*I knew it wouldn't last.

*kicks chair and storms out*

(Sorry, I'm tired. I post things like this when I'm tired.)
#16 Posted by Daveyo520 (6652 posts) -
@JJWeatherman: Are you always tired?
#17 Posted by JJWeatherman (14557 posts) -
@Daveyo520 said:
" @JJWeatherman: Are you always tired? "
Hmmm. Yeah, that's probably accurate.
#18 Posted by Sparklykiss (1948 posts) -
But... You loved your Wii. You loved your god-
@HandsomeDevil said:
" His name is Claude. He loves his Wii, he loves his goddamn Wii. "
Dammit, beat me to it!

Now what will Claude love? This is depressing.

@JJWeatherman said:
" Claude, nooooo! You're not Claude anymore without your undying Wii-love! We're gonna have to edit the GB Community song now. Do you realize that? Do you realize the implications of your actions?! This is easily the most irresponsible thing I've ever witnessed!

*mumbles*I knew it wouldn't last.

*kicks chair and storms out*

(Sorry, I'm tired. I post things like this when I'm tired.)
"
This just means we need a new song, a better song. A song with whatever Claude's new love will be.
Moderator
#19 Posted by SMTDante89 (2545 posts) -

Well, as long as you two are keeping in touch I guess it's alright.  But there's probably going to be a bit of awkwardness between you two from now on.

#20 Posted by ArbitraryWater (11477 posts) -

Oh great Claude. I thought you and the Wii were going to be together forever. Who gets custody of the kids?

Online
#21 Posted by Conker (770 posts) -
Here you g-oh wait.... 
#22 Posted by ssj4raditz (1125 posts) -

Beardless Claude looks hip!

#23 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -
@ArbitraryWater said:
" Oh great Claude. I thought you and the Wii were going to be together forever. Who gets custody of the kids? "
I expect custody of my games to be brought to the new Nintendo console. That's all I ask. Let's have an easy transition in this relationship. I broke up with my Wii, I don't want a divorce with Nintendo.
#24 Edited by HitmanAgent47 (8576 posts) -

With your beard, you look like 70 years old, without it you look 35. Never owned a wii though.

Just saying you look better without the beard imo.

#25 Posted by PrivateIronTFU (3874 posts) -

I just got rid of my Wii. I realized the only two games I played for it were Super Mario Galaxy 2 and Donkey Kong Country Returns. Both of which I've beaten. And there doesn't seem to be anything on the horizon, besides Zelda, which I'll probably just get when the new Nintendo console comes out. And maybe those games will look a little prettier. 

#26 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -
@HitmanAgent47 said:
" With your beard, you look like 70 years old, without it you look 35. Never owned a wii though. "
I'm thousands of years old.
#27 Posted by Tuddlesworth (114 posts) -

Claude, you would paint the town jealous if you wore a top hat. 

#28 Posted by Cornman89 (1579 posts) -

There's nothing worth believing in anymore.

#29 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -
@Cornman89 said:
" There's nothing worth believing in anymore. "
With video games, there's always hope. With video games, you must have faith. It's the sole of the con that gets you.
#30 Posted by Little_Socrates (5675 posts) -

Do you know how crazy it is to read your name in teal instead of red? Actually, I'm starting to wonder if it was always that way.

#31 Posted by TurboMan (7401 posts) -

There's always Wii HD, right?

#32 Posted by Portis (1285 posts) -
@Claude said:


 What gamers really want.

What the fuck? Creepy.

#33 Posted by JJWeatherman (14557 posts) -
@Portis said:
" @Claude said:


 What gamers really want.

What the fuck? Creepy.

"
I believe this was the result of a joke made on the Endless Ocean Quick Look. But yeah, it's an ominous cover for sure.
#34 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -
@Afroman269 said:
" Nice collection of pictures. I kinda miss the Wii Defense Force. "
I still talk to oldschool. It's on facebook. I could still kick his ass for being banned. But I love him.
#35 Posted by Afroman269 (7387 posts) -
@Claude: He was banned? I thought it was just linkyshinks and then the other guys left.
#36 Edited by Claude (16254 posts) -
@Afroman269 said:

" @Claude: He was banned? I thought it was just linkyshinks and then the other guys left. "

Far as know. I saw all the PMs and shit. I big misunderstanding and all parties were pissed. oldschool was dismissed. Along with Al3xnd3r.

EDIT

I should say, they asked for it.
#37 Posted by LiquidPrince (15843 posts) -

Microwaved Wii scares me.

#38 Posted by thehexeditor (1404 posts) -

Claude, you're amazing. Truly a one of a kind renaissance man.

#39 Posted by Kyreo (4600 posts) -

Just as long as you still love your Goddamn Wii, I approve of this choice and you have my blessings.

#40 Posted by Gerhabio (1977 posts) -

That's you, Claude? You sound really young in the community song.

#41 Posted by Brendan (7687 posts) -

I don't even know you personally, but this is huge.  Where the fuck is our so-called real reporter if he isn't on this goddamn story!  Paaatriiiiiiick!!!

#42 Posted by yoshimitz707 (2450 posts) -

Yeah, Claude sounds like he's 15 in the community song. Freaks me out.

#43 Edited by FunExplosions (5407 posts) -

Badass beard, badass shave, badass Wii pics, badass picture-story, badass everything.

#44 Posted by TooWalrus (13137 posts) -

It does seem mind blowing that a console focused mainly on the imitation of sports movements and plastic racing wheels never got a new Mario Golf or F-Zero- Mario Golf Advance Tour and that GBA F-Zero both came out while I was traveling around the planet with my somewhat shattered family, I played the hell out of them. 

#45 Posted by Enigma777 (6057 posts) -

You should have just texted it. 

#46 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -
@TooWalrus said:
" It does seem mind blowing that a console focused mainly on the imitation of sports movements and plastic racing wheels never got a new Mario Golf or F-Zero- Mario Golf Advance Tour and that GBA F-Zero both came out while I was traveling around the planet with my somewhat shattered family, I played the hell out of them.  "
Strange indeed. I've been playing F-Zero GX on my Wii and Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour. Why is that? Why did I have to buy these games again? Only Nintendo knows. They look great in 480p though. Just saying.
#47 Posted by s7evn (1072 posts) -

You'll be back next year when the next Nintendo console is out :)

#48 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -
@Enigma777 said:
" You should have just sexted it.  "
#49 Posted by Sparky_Buzzsaw (6087 posts) -

So long as you keep in touch with it, I'm not releasing the hounds.  Maybe.  OK, goddamn it, I really want to release the hounds.  Don't make me.

Do they still make Choose Your Own Adventure books?  Man, I dug the shit out of those as a wee one.  Gooooood times.

Moderator
#50 Posted by TooWalrus (13137 posts) -
@Claude said:
" @TooWalrus said:
" It does seem mind blowing that a console focused mainly on the imitation of sports movements and plastic racing wheels never got a new Mario Golf or F-Zero- Mario Golf Advance Tour and that GBA F-Zero both came out while I was traveling around the planet with my somewhat shattered family, I played the hell out of them.  "
Strange indeed. I've been playing F-Zero GX on my Wii and Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour. Why is that? Why did I have to buy these games again? Only Nintendo knows. They look great in 480p though. Just saying. "
Oh I know, I recently played through Luigi's Mansion (again) using the Wii, looked better than ever- those component cables are great. 

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