Wii Defense Force revealed, as requested by trophyhunter

Posted by Godwind (2597 posts) -

Ladies and Gentlemen, gamers and non-gamers, skanks and hoes/fanboys, 
 
It has been recently been revealed that the Wii Defense Force exists.  A formerly secret society of people who existed on Giantbomb.  While it is believed that our purpose is to "defend the wii a massive force", the true nature is to rule Giantbomb and mastermind video game development.  The Javalein glitch, guess who implemented that?  How did the Red Ring of Death and Yellow light of Death come to be?  Well they aren't the Wii, if that is any clue.
 
While at first it looked as if it was trophyhunter's paranoia kicking in again, we can assure you he wasn't as crazy for what he said.  trophyhunter private messaged me demanding for this so called list.  However, before I could, I required permission from my cult leader, oldschool.  Being the genius that is my encompassing and knowledgeable leader, he confirmed that the presentation of our ranks must be done.  So here today, I address the issue to reveal to my fellow G bombers.
 
 Cult Leader: Old School 
 

Company Grade
Army
Navy
Marines
 Air Force Ninjas
Comfort Women
(Sex relief)
 O10  Al3xander
 General
( Army Chief of Staff )
 Linkyshinks
  Admiral 
(Chief of Naval Operations)
     Meowayne 
 General
(Commandant of Marine Corps)
 RyanWho 
General 
(Air Force Chief of Staff)
AgentJ
Sensei
(Shadow Chief of  Staff)
 trophyhunter 
Hoe
(Slutty Chief of Skanks)
 O9  Demontium
Lieutenant General
 Willy105
Vice Admiral
  Godwind
Lieutenant General
 eroticfishcake 
Lieutenant General
Brunchies
Meat Grinder
 Emandudeguyperson 
Slut
 O8  turboMonkey138
Major General
 JJOR64
Rear Admiral
(upper Half)
 Claude
Major General
 Strongbadman47 
Major General
Alaska_Gamer
Decapitator
 
 O7  iAmJohn
Brigadier General
 StarFoxA
Rear Admiral
(lower half)
 Tieryo643 
Brigadier General
 AjayRaz 
Brigadier General

 
 O6  Dalai
Colonel
 Emilio
Captain
 Twilight
Colonel
 adam_grif 
Colonel

 
 O5  Bubahula
Lieutenant Colonel
 ThomasP
Commander
 Halberdierv2
Lieutenant Colonel
 xyzygy 
Colonel

 
O4


 




 

#1 Edited by Godwind (2597 posts) -

Ladies and Gentlemen, gamers and non-gamers, skanks and hoes/fanboys, 
 
It has been recently been revealed that the Wii Defense Force exists.  A formerly secret society of people who existed on Giantbomb.  While it is believed that our purpose is to "defend the wii a massive force", the true nature is to rule Giantbomb and mastermind video game development.  The Javalein glitch, guess who implemented that?  How did the Red Ring of Death and Yellow light of Death come to be?  Well they aren't the Wii, if that is any clue.
 
While at first it looked as if it was trophyhunter's paranoia kicking in again, we can assure you he wasn't as crazy for what he said.  trophyhunter private messaged me demanding for this so called list.  However, before I could, I required permission from my cult leader, oldschool.  Being the genius that is my encompassing and knowledgeable leader, he confirmed that the presentation of our ranks must be done.  So here today, I address the issue to reveal to my fellow G bombers.
 
 Cult Leader: Old School 
 

Company Grade
Army
Navy
Marines
 Air Force Ninjas
Comfort Women
(Sex relief)
 O10  Al3xander
 General
( Army Chief of Staff )
 Linkyshinks
  Admiral 
(Chief of Naval Operations)
     Meowayne 
 General
(Commandant of Marine Corps)
 RyanWho 
General 
(Air Force Chief of Staff)
AgentJ
Sensei
(Shadow Chief of  Staff)
 trophyhunter 
Hoe
(Slutty Chief of Skanks)
 O9  Demontium
Lieutenant General
 Willy105
Vice Admiral
  Godwind
Lieutenant General
 eroticfishcake 
Lieutenant General
Brunchies
Meat Grinder
 Emandudeguyperson 
Slut
 O8  turboMonkey138
Major General
 JJOR64
Rear Admiral
(upper Half)
 Claude
Major General
 Strongbadman47 
Major General
Alaska_Gamer
Decapitator
 
 O7  iAmJohn
Brigadier General
 StarFoxA
Rear Admiral
(lower half)
 Tieryo643 
Brigadier General
 AjayRaz 
Brigadier General

 
 O6  Dalai
Colonel
 Emilio
Captain
 Twilight
Colonel
 adam_grif 
Colonel

 
 O5  Bubahula
Lieutenant Colonel
 ThomasP
Commander
 Halberdierv2
Lieutenant Colonel
 xyzygy 
Colonel

 
O4


 




 

#2 Posted by AjayRaz (12418 posts) -

dude, and i'm not there? 

#3 Posted by adam_grif (1144 posts) -

Excuse me? Why aren't I on that list?

#4 Posted by Godwind (2597 posts) -
@AjayRaz said:
" dude, and i'm not there?  "
Dude, I can so add you if you want it to be.
#5 Posted by AjayRaz (12418 posts) -
@Godwind: for sure! i don't hate the wii, so why not defend it? add me to that shit! 
#6 Posted by DanielJW (4915 posts) -

Oh good, a comprehensive list of Giant Bomb's buffoons! 
  
Zing! 
  
... I'm just kidding by the way. <3

#7 Posted by Godwind (2597 posts) -
@adam_grif said:
" Excuse me? Why aren't I on that list? "
added
 
@AjayRaz said:
" @Godwind: for sure! i don't hate the wii, so why not defend it? add me to that shit!  "

added
 
 
The more the merrier.
#8 Posted by AjayRaz (12418 posts) -
@Godwind: <3 
#9 Posted by Godwind (2597 posts) -

Anyways, I need to get some sleep, I have my last final tommorrow.  Why my school has to be so late?  Just why?

#10 Posted by StarFoxA (5138 posts) -

The organization is so secret that I wasn't even aware of my participation until now! Gasp!

#11 Posted by Sparky_Buzzsaw (6094 posts) -

As Lord Emperor of the Master System Defense Initiative, I welcome my brethren in 2009.

Moderator
#12 Posted by ryanwho (12082 posts) -

WE'RE VULNERABLE FROM THE AIR
DEAR GOD
HOW DID I NOT SEE IT

#13 Posted by oldschool (7264 posts) -

Man, I always wanted to be a cult leader.  It has been my life long dream  ^-^ 
 
I am setting up our new base in Guyana as we speak.  I will bring the Kool-Aid.

#14 Posted by Dalai (6998 posts) -

If trophyhunter or emandudeguyperson aren't available, I can be used for sex relief as well.

#15 Posted by Bubahula (2197 posts) -

i love everything about this :D
i vow to defend the wii against evil. until i make my wii mod to allow the wii to defend itself.

#16 Posted by ThomasP (1655 posts) -

I'm the Commander bitches! That's awesome that you put me in the Navy because if I had to choose I'd go for that. I think you can take DS's and PSP's with you on the submarines. = )
 
This is awesome by the way.

#17 Posted by oldschool (7264 posts) -
@Dalai said:
" If trophyhunter or emandudeguyperson aren't available, I can be used for sex relief as well. "
......... slowly backs out of room ..................
#18 Posted by demontium (4707 posts) -
@Godwind: How much pay does the army get? 
 
and what is 05?! 
 
@oldschool: DONT LEAVE! WE NEED YOU ON THE FRONTIER BOY!
#19 Posted by oldschool (7264 posts) -
@demontium said:
"@oldschool: DONT LEAVE! WE NEED YOU ON THE FRONTIER BOY! "
When Dalai stops fraternising with the crew, I will be back.  I don't need to see that.  That is what I have the internet for  ^-^ 
 
Print this picture and hang it up above your Wii units men, women and children - your cult leader (formerly a Captain, until a bloody coup d'etat): 

#20 Posted by Dalai (6998 posts) -
@oldschool: Alright... I'll reluctantly put my pants back on and be good. I'm sure that's a job for the Rear Admirals anyway.
#21 Posted by demontium (4707 posts) -
@oldschool: 
 Me. Awesome. amiright?
#22 Edited by AgentJ (8778 posts) -

Ugh... I didn't ask to be included in this. Sure I give the wii the respect it deserves, but being on any sort of "defense force" equates me to the SDF. That's the last thing I want.  
 
Oh well, I suppose I'll have to be that character that always seems annoyed but does what he's asked anyway.

#23 Posted by oldschool (7264 posts) -

@demontium: 
I think we will call you Captain Rainbow, because like him and the Wii game, you are awesome  ^-^ 

#24 Posted by xyzygy (9899 posts) -

Can I join too? I love my Wii...

#25 Posted by ryanwho (12082 posts) -
@AgentJ said:
" Ugh... I didn't ask to be included in this. Sure I give the wii the respect it deserves, but being on any sort of "defense force" equates me to the SDF. That's the last thing I want.   Oh well, I suppose I'll have to be that character that always seems annoyed but does what he's asked anyway. "
You're the reluctant hero who quickly rises in the ranks in order to one day avenge his twin brother but then becomes passionate about the cause in like 110 minutes or so. Also there are explosions.
#26 Posted by iAmJohn (6109 posts) -

This is really stupid and I am against it in every way imaginable. 
 
I want in.

#27 Posted by ryanwho (12082 posts) -
@iAmJohn said:
" This is really stupid and I am against it in every way imaginable.  I want in. "
You're the arrogant superstar pilot who pushes the reluctant hero over the edge. Into the danger zone.
#28 Posted by xyzygy (9899 posts) -
@ryanwho said:
" @AgentJ said:
" Ugh... I didn't ask to be included in this. Sure I give the wii the respect it deserves, but being on any sort of "defense force" equates me to the SDF. That's the last thing I want.   Oh well, I suppose I'll have to be that character that always seems annoyed but does what he's asked anyway. "
You're the reluctant hero who quickly rises in the ranks in order to one day avenge his twin brother but then becomes passionate about the cause in like 110 minutes or so. Also there are explosions. "
AKA, the teeange hero in almost every JRPG.  
 
Xyz: "AGENTJ! Help me! I can't defeat him on my own!!!!" 
 
AgentJ: "Xyzygy! We just need to work together and this thing will be a piece of cake, trust me!" 
 
Xyz: "But..." 
 
AgentJ: "Now is not the time for regrets! The council is counting on us to kill this 4000 foot metal machine! I won't give up!" 
#29 Posted by iAmJohn (6109 posts) -
@ryanwho said:
" You're the arrogant superstar pilot who pushes the reluctant hero over the edge. Into the danger zone. "
You're the only one who really knows me. <3
#30 Posted by Strongbadman47 (154 posts) -

I've stuck with the Wii since day one Lieutenant!  When can I enlist?

#31 Edited by AgentJ (8778 posts) -
    
Who is good with photoshop? 
@xyzygy said: 

@ryanwho said: 

@AgentJ said: 
" Ugh... I didn't ask to be included in this. Sure I give the wii the respect it deserves, but being on any sort of "defense force" equates me to the SDF. That's the last thing I want.   Oh well, I suppose I'll have to be that character that always seems annoyed but does what he's asked anyway. "
You're the reluctant hero who quickly rises in the ranks in order to one day avenge his twin brother but then becomes passionate about the cause in like 110 minutes or so. Also there are explosions. "
AKA, the teeange hero in almost every JRPG.   Xyz: "AGENTJ! Help me! I can't defeat him on my own!!!!"  AgentJ: "Xyzygy! We just need to work together and this thing will be a piece of cake, trust me!"  Xyz: "But..."  AgentJ: "Now is not the time for regrets! The council is counting on us to kill this 4000 foot metal machine! I won't give up!"  "

 Close, but since I'm reluctant to be part of this in the first place, I'd probably not be the one suggesting teamwork.  
xyz: AGENTJ! Help me! I can't defeat him on my own!!!" 
Agent: Fuck off, I didn't ask for this! Defeat that shit yourself! 
*xyz beaten within inch of death*  
Agent: Fuck.
#32 Posted by Meowayne (6084 posts) -

#33 Posted by eroticfishcake (7782 posts) -

I'm not entirely sure what's going on but I like my Wii so I want in!

#34 Posted by oldschool (7264 posts) -
@AgentJ said:
"     "
I know I am the old guy (Chief Aramaki) at the table, 'cause he's the boss, but damn, I want to be the chick (Kusanagi) on his right (our left).  Is that weird? 
 
Which console has the Laughing Man? 
#35 Posted by Geno (6477 posts) -

A handful of people on that list are trolls, but nice list nonetheless ^ ^. 

#36 Posted by oldschool (7264 posts) -
@Geno said:
" A handful of people on that list are trolls, but nice list nonetheless ^ ^.  "
We will make them the red shirts like in Star Trek, not give them a name and send them on missions, knowing they will not return  ^-^
#37 Posted by VWGTI (1919 posts) -

What is really going on in here?
#38 Posted by Emilio (3380 posts) -

Sweet, I'm a captain!!

#39 Posted by Geno (6477 posts) -

I was confused about oldschool's absence on the list, then I saw "Cult Leader: oldschool" and I was like LOL

#40 Posted by oldschool (7264 posts) -
@VWGTI said:
" What is really going on in here? "
This is where we all come out of the closet and scream, "I have a Wii and I am proud", or something like that.   We are taking back the forums  ^-^  The Million Wii March.
#41 Posted by Weltal (2272 posts) -

Oh my dear sweet lord! They've organized.

#42 Posted by VWGTI (1919 posts) -
@oldschool said:
" @VWGTI said:
" What is really going on in here? "
This is where we all come out of the closet and scream, "I have a Wii and I am proud", or something like that.   We are taking back the forums  ^-^  The Million Wii March. "
I don't know if I should conform and join the cause, or walk away slowly.
#43 Posted by oldschool (7264 posts) -
@Weltal said:
" Oh my dear sweet lord! They've organized. "
Yep, there over 50 million of us, so beware.  Sure, quite a few will catch up when they finish bingo and get out of pre-school, but dammit, they will arrive. 
#44 Posted by Godwind (2597 posts) -

Air Force added guys.  Now we can bomb and shit bros.  Also, bonus points for pissing while drunk.  I dare you to take out those fires with our almighty piss.
#45 Edited by Claude (16254 posts) -

Marines, oh my. Ex-Navy Seaman Claude at your service. Go Wii!
#46 Posted by Mushir (2389 posts) -

Haha I chuckled when I saw my name on that list.

#47 Posted by CoolDrMoney (1978 posts) -

You need to mention fursuiting somewhere in Emandudeguyperson's rank

#48 Posted by EvilTwin (3324 posts) -
@Meowayne: Genius.
#49 Posted by Godwind (2597 posts) -

 @StarFoxA said:

" The organization is so secret that I wasn't even aware of my participation until now! Gasp! "

 
So secret, I didn't even know there was a list. 
 

@ryanwho

said:

" WE'RE VULNERABLE FROM THE AIR DEAR GOD HOW DID I NOT SEE IT "

Bam!!!  Made the airforce.
 
@Meowayne:
The real flag raising.
  
  
 
 
 
  @Geno said:
" A handful of people on that list are trolls, but nice list nonetheless ^ ^.  "

A list dedicated to listing people who ass rape's its opponents.
#50 Posted by Mikemcn (6958 posts) -

What?

This edit will also create new pages on Giant Bomb for:

Beware, you are proposing to add brand new pages to the wiki along with your edits. Make sure this is what you intended. This will likely increase the time it takes for your changes to go live.

Comment and Save

Until you earn 1000 points all your submissions need to be vetted by other Giant Bomb users. This process takes no more than a few hours and we'll send you an email once approved.