Submission #17967 - Ryan Davis (Person Overview) page

I just added, "Ryan has sat on a cake before. He just said it on the Friday GDC 2013 talk. His then-girlfriend bought him the cake. He might have sat on the cake with no pants, on a tarp, in the bedroom.

03/29/2013 9:06:54 pm
Edits proposed
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Person - Ryan Davis EDIT  


Ryan Davis, a.k.a. "Papa Bear", born on June 4, 1979, is a video game journalist that got his start over at Ryan Davis was famous on the site for co-starring with Jeff Gerstmann and Rich Gallup in the GameSpot Internet show, Time Trotters. He also co-hosted on another GameSpot show, On The Spot, with main host Rich Gallup. After eight years with GameSpot, he left the site in 2008 to contribute to his web site, Arrow Pointing Down, but later announced that he and Jeff would be starting their own video game web site known as Giant Bomb. Since then, Ryan Davis has become famous as the host of two of Giant Bomb's most popular shows, the Giant Bombcast (podcast) and TANG. He was also the regular host of the Whiskey Media live show, "Happy Hour."

In his free time, Ryan enjoys snitching on pot smokers. He claims it's accidental (but we all know the truth).

After GameSpot

Ryan and Jeff at GDC 08

Ryan left GameSpot along with Brad Shoemaker, Vinny Caravella, and Alex Navarro soon after Jeff Gerstmann was let go in the infamous "Gerstmanngate" incident of 2007. Ryan soon started a blog titled "Arrow Pointing Down," where he and Jeff recorded a podcast. In early 2008, Ryan began teasing Giant Bomb. It's a website. About video games. It's a video game website. About video games. And pancakes. Also, anime.

Time Trotters

Time Trotters was going to be an animated show starring Trivia Robot, Jeff, and Ryan.

Note: This section refers to the animated Time Trotters series, however, there was a single episode of a live-action Time Trotters series released before the animated series. It is labelled "Episode 19" for comedic purposes, there are no episodes 1-18.

While at GameSpot, Ryan Davis appeared with Jeff Gerstmann and Rich Gallup in a one-episode show called Time Trotters. Time Trotters was a show about three guys and a robot who travel through time to save video games from being erased. There wasn't much of a story, but by the time the show hit an animated form, they apparently introduced a new villain. This version featured a more fleshed out story.

The basic premise of the show is that Ryan and Jeff go back in time to save old, "classic" games from being erased from the timeline. Ryan and Jeff's commanding officer, the Chief, played by Rich Gallup, briefs them on what games need to be saved. The villain of the show is a mysterious figure whose arm and assistant are the only things ever shown. The villains own a website known as, and they plot to steal games from the past, leaving it up to The Time Trotters to stop them. Unfortunately, before the show could ever get off the ground, Rich Gallup left GameSpot to move to Boston, and Jeff and Ryan eventually left as well, making it exceptionally unlikely any episodes of the animated Time Trotters following the single "pilot", Time Trotters: Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style, would be made. However, in an unlikely turn of events, upon being acquired by CBSi, Giant Bomb regained the rights to use Time Trotters and released the previously lost episode, Time Trotters: Night Trap.

This Ain't No Game

Ryan Davis, in a classy episode of TANG.

Ryan also hosted a weekly show on Giant Bomb called "This Ain't No Game," TANG for short. The premise of the show was Ryan Davis reviewing movies based on video games. In the show, Ryan Davis invoked an intellectual, well-constructed observation on the film that he's talking about. The show generally lasted a little over ten minutes, and new episodes were generally posted on Thursdays. The name of the program comes from the ludicrously inaccurate tagline of the Super Mario Bros. movie, "This ain't no game, it's a live-action thrill ride!"


Ryan liked to wear a black sweater with a collar shirt sticking when recording TANG while sporting a full-on beard. He has commented on the clothing by saying that it makes him feel more "critic-y."

Season 1 of TANG ended on October 9th, 2009 with a review of Onechanbara: The Movie. Davis has stated that the reason for this is simply that he can't find any more movies based on video games to review. When it came to the question about anime films based off video games getting reviewed, Ryan Davis stated that he will not review any anime films. He also said that if he agrees to review anime, he would have to review the Pokémon films, of which there were twelve at last count, with a thirteenth to be released in Japan this summer.

On July 16th, 2010, Ryan began a new project, called The Wonderful Universe of This Ain't No Game, which he refers to as a side project, rather than the next full season of TANG proper. Instead of focusing on movies directly based on video games, the Wonderful Universe (which was given that name in order to make the acronym WU-TANG) was about movies that are not based on any real video game, but do feature video games, real or fictional, as an integral part of the plot. The first episode of The Wonderful Universe of TANG focused on the movie Tron, starring Bruce Boxleitner and Jeff Bridges.

TANG Episodes (Season One)

  • Double Dragon
  • Street Fighter: The Movie
  • Resident Evil
  • Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
  • Resident Evil: Degeneration
  • Hitman
  • Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
  • Silent Hill
  • Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
  • Doom
  • Mortal Kombat
  • Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life
  • Dead or Alive
  • Resident Evil: Apocalypse
  • Max Payne
  • Super Mario Bros.: The Movie
  • Resident Evil: Extinction
  • Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li
  • Postal
  • Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
  • In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
  • Wing Commander
  • BloodRayne
  • The House of the Dead
  • Alone in the Dark
  • House of the Dead 2
  • BloodRayne II: Deliverance
  • Far Cry
  • Onechanbara: The Movie


  • Tron
  • WarGames
  • Joysticks
  • NIghtmares (Specifically the "The Bishop of Battle" segment)
  • The Last Starfighter
  • Cloak & Dagger

Davis May Cry...

  • If the BioWare doctors have a full-blown, screaming freak-out.
  • When noxious fumes from a hot dog toaster are inhaled.
  • After consuming a can of Coca-Cola in all its entirety within a small amount of time.
  • When playing The Matrix Online alone with Vinny in a dark basement at midnight on a Friday night, holding hands like usual.
  • When people throw the word "addiction" around for things they aren't literally addicted to.
  • When he thinks of Yoshi. These would be tears of hate (except for Super Mario Galaxy 2, where he is cool with it).
  • If Jonathan Frakes sticks his tongue out. Who can blame him? It's horrifying. (Jonathan Frakes has since apologized for this through a signed photo of the horrifying event.)
  • When the word Executable is " mispronounced"


  • Avid connoisseur and collector of New Balance 574's.
  • When asked what his favorite game of all time was, Ryan responded with " Super Mario Bros. 3."
  • Is one half of an elite time-travelling duo known as the Time Trotters, who are entrusted with the epic task of saving old video games from obscurity.
  • Ryan's arm tattoo spells out "Mom" in binary.
  • Ryan's favorite Pokémon is Koffing.
  • Ryan looks "awesome" with bleached blond hair and a shaved beard.
  • Ryan was quoted in an issue of the New Yorker, on the subject of face and neck stabbing.
  • Ryan has claimed that the music in level 2 of the X-Men arcade game is the best music in any video game, ever. "Because it's just full of voice samples and this sweet fake scratching - hip hop. Japanese, video game, comic book, hip-hop."
  • Ryan is an Air Dolphin.
  • Ryan thinks that the Casual Racing game that he has spent the most time with is Crash Team Racing.
  • Gives tours on a ferry.
  • Ryan is building a vintage electronics den complete with a CRT TV, laserdiscs, tape-deck, and a top loading VHS player.
  • "Pretends" to get giddy at the sight of virtual women's sex toys.
  • Tends to shit his pants when he's having fun (often in McDonalds ball pits).
  • Ryan's think the most fun to make Midnight Brown song is Too Hot.
  • Hates Candy Corn, but likes Black Jack gum. Black Black is also acceptable.
  • Is the raconteur of Giant Bomb.
  • He never enjoys talking to anyone about Dragon Ball Z. Ever.
  • Ryan is credited in the "Special Thanks" section of the Guitar Hero II manual, and others supposedly because they helped cover the first game.
  • Wants to murder the announcer of Motion Sports, for repeated and unnecessary re-introductions.
  • Ryan may have also been born on the June 5, 1979.
  • Ryan Davis has been to Rome and would totally recognize the layout if he saw it in a video game. Whether or not time travel was involved, and indeed whether or not he recognizes the layout of sixteenth-century Rome in Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, has thus far gone unaddressed.
  • Hates fruit punch-flavored Four Loko
  • Once made a child cry after maliciously deleting a Pokemon from their game cartridge. Davis claims he did this to make room for the Mewtwo he was distributing to the child's game at a Toys R' Us event.
  • Hates Ghost Fish.
  • Likes to call Jeff Gerstmann whenever he himself is on the It's a Small World ride at Disney Land, just to make him listen.
  • Ryan could understand how someone could confuse Wario for him.
  • Loves Nyquil
  • Is old friends with Shawn Hunter from Boy Meets World. He saw him infrequently.
  • On an episode of The HotSpot, Jeff Gerstmann let it be known that Ryan Davis was the man behind the Natalie Portman legality countdown website.
  • Claims to have gotten a "handy" from the mother of a child who incessantly complained, or bawled, about how "girly" the "Aqua Blue"-colored 3DS was when relinquishing the last "Cosmo Black"-colored 3DS to said child to gain karma points and receive the aforementioned "handy," or "handy J" as Jared Rea calls it.
  • Ryan does not believe in wheels.
  • Ryan does not wear pants that go all the way to his ankles.
  • Ryan is a narc.
  • Ryan doesn't like GTA 2.
  • Ryan would touch a bear.
  • Has threatened to delete the entire giant bomb community as if it were a page on a website.
  • Is definitely(definitely) a fistmaniac.
  • Is willing to pet a real life panda bear even if it means going to a Chinese prison afterwards.
  • Once had a thing going on with Jeff Gerstmann.
  • Hates anything Android.
  • Loves Mondays
  • Hates April Fools' Day.
  • His stepmom makes a "pretty good stock slaw."
  • Has become hopelessly addicted to "slaw."
  • Ryan claims his dad was born in Oildale, CA.
  • Ryan touches Everyone.
  • Revealed on the Marvel Ultimate Alliance TNT that he played the whole game on Easy back in 2006.
  • Ryan's street name is White Citrus.
  • Ryan is a health and beauty pro and an expert at fluffing meat.
  • Knows way too much about the Harlem Globetrotters.
  • Ryan has never eaten horse meat, but has eaten plenty of "horsey sauce."
  • Ryan's favorite character from the Street Fighter EX series is Skullomania.
  • Ryan says the late 90's are "A fucking blur".
  • Once upon a time, Ryan cared about Dragon Ball Z. He's actually retained a surprising amount of information about the series.
  • At the PAX East 2013 Giant Bomb Panel Ryan drank Certified! Anonymous Breast Milk for $200 cash.
  • Ryan has sat on a cake before.


  • "Because I'm a dick, and I want to subject other people to that."
  • " John McTiernan, master of modern fucking action movies. The man made Predator, God dammit! If you're gonna sit there and tell me Renny Harlin made a better movie than him, you are all assholes and I don't want to work with you anymore!"
  • "Infinite beards!"
  • "I don't rightly know, Jeff."
  • "Suck on it, Ron Weasley."
  • "Scissors get!"
  • "I always get run over from behind."
  • "Squoze" (Squeeze)
  • "Bat-min" (Batman)
  • "Ah-nime" (Anime)
  • "Row-bit" (Robot)
  • "Sa-wowrd" (Sword)
  • "Pee-racy" (Piracy)
  • "Bee-tah" (Beta)
  • "Gre-nahd" (Grenade)
  • "Hoo-mawns" (Humans)
  • "Conci-eeerge" (Concierge)
  • "Sha-raad" (Charade)
  • "Shhiatt" (Chat)
  • "Die-ablo" (Diablo)
  • "Glay-see-er"(Glacier)
  • "Ri-doo" (Redux)
  • "I'm just gonna say it, if you get shit on a carrot, you just throw it away. Don't even try to salvage that carrot."
  • (Imitating Peter Molyneux) "How you treat my balls will impact the rest of the game world intrinsically."
  • "Hold onto your fucking hats, gentlemen."
  • "I could talk about Peter Molyneux's balls for a long time, but what I'd rather talk about... No, there's nothing I'd rather talk about right now than Peter Molyneux's balls!"
  • (About Uwe Boll) "He's like the J.R.R. Tolkien of being shitty!"
  • "At first I cringe, but I want more."
  • "Walk the cow through a warm room, and then bring it to my plate." (on the subject of how rare the Bomb Squad prefers their steak)
  • "I hate Socks."
  • "That water effect sucks something furious."
  • "Do we have any questions about puppies... rape... ritualized murder...?"
  • "Fuck Bob Dylan!"
  • "Fuck Mark Hamill."
  • "Fuck you, Brad Garrett! I hope you burn in shit!"
  • "Fuck your milk!"
  • "If you close your eyes a little bit while you say something and then open them back up at the end... it makes it seem a lot more sensual that way. 'Craig, let's get real for a second'."
  • "Thing is playing ping-pong with another Thing..."
  • "Ohh, you are a piece of crap that died and deserved to!"
  • "Palette swap your mom."
  • "No one should ever put clothes on a shark."
  • "I've got a salty moustache."
  • "I did not say: 'uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.'"
  • "This is a tactical stealth action game, squad-based, class-based..." (on the subject of MX vs. ATV Alive)
  • "Girl, let me see your turtles."
  • "You know, up until the part where you died, I thought you were having a pretty good run there."
  • "It's Family Go-Kart Racing! Buckle up, motherfuckers."
  • "I hate Game Room so much."
  • "I feel like I'm gonna throw up... but in a good way."
  • "It's like I'm in a techno-womb."
  • "You know, you're two nurses, Brad, but I don't think you stand a chance against Optimus fucking Prime."
  • "This Quick Look is over!"
  • "Hit the golf button! Hit the golf button!!"
  • "I love nuts."
  • "The Kool-Aid Man never had a flamethrower."
  • (Before playing Bowling in Kinect Sports) "I feel the sudden need for health insurance."
  • (While playing Kinectimals, the tiger rubs his face against the screen) "The cat's rubbing one out on me."
  • "I fucking hate Game Room."
  • "Ladders. Fucking up video games since 1987."
  • "What PopCap game do you think Master Chief would like the most?"
  • "I wanna see hot, sweaty dudes! Touching each other! In their underwear!"
  • "You need to spit on it first."
  • (On Mindjack during the Mindjack Quick Look) "I fucking hate this game!"
  • "My dick doesn't have tits."
  • "I looooove Nyquil."
  • "Let me put my hot blade inside you."
  • "Nothing gets me excited like a couple of dead bodies."
  • (While playing We Dare with Jeff during the Whiskey Media happy hour) "I have one at home, I named it Jean-Paul."
  • (Deep Voice) " The clown does what it wants"
  • " If there is a banana in the way, simply whack it off... the screen."
  • "It's a magic fucking hammer, dog!"
  • "I try not to affiliate myself with Canadians."
  • "I don't believe in wheels."
  • "Fuck you Amazon!"
  • "We must protect the van at all costs!"
  • "Fuck you, Leland Yee."
  • "Oh shit, Bears can swim!"
  • "It's really easy to set things on fire when you mean to as well."
  • "I wish we had some Dick's here, because I could just eat Dick's all day."
  • "Ate that sandwich. Shoved that pickle inside of you."
  • "Shove it down your cracker-hole."
  • "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, goddammit! Son of a B!"
  • "It's 18 years old, Daytona USA. You could fuck it if you wanted to."
  • "This is the results of trying to touch butts."
  • "I can play Simon Says like a motherfucker."
  • "Dirty buttholes."
  • "It's dumb, but its not transcendentally dumb."
  • "Gimmie that horsey sauce."
  • "I want to straddle that horsey sauce."
  • "Get your mouth full of dicks with us. Dicks all over your face. It's gonna get everywhere. Fill you up with dicks."
  • "I am the street!"
  • "Fuck you very much Jason Voorhees."
  • "Thundercats for the Nintendo DS: Get Fucked"
  • "I just magic'd in my pants."
  • (discussing face huggers from Aliens) "They're basically sperm"
  • "I want a game that is nothing but kicking dumpsters at enemies."
  • "I'm an old man. I like turns"


Ryan has also been known to use the following aliases:

  • "Taswell" (his middle name)
  • "White Grape"
  • "Greek Donkey Kong"
  • "Crazy Guts"
  • " Spader-Man"
  • "Nachoboss"
  • "Pig Sticker"
  • "Nice Farmer Man"
  • "xWiLLSMiTH420x"
  • "Careen Abdul Jabbar"
  • "Loramice Bearcharger" and "Nuribane Joysword" (his DnD names)
  • "Virtua Davis"
  • "DJ Fake Ryan Davis"
  • "MattKessler"
  • "White Citrus"
  • "Filthy Shanghai"
  • "Horsebeard"
  • "Asshole Davis"
  • "Hat Judge"