Something went wrong. Try again later
    Follow

    Xbox One

    Platform »

    The Xbox One is Microsoft's third video game console. It was released on November 22nd 2013 in 13 countries.

    Sadness in the Key of Green

    Avatar image for spraynardtatum
    spraynardtatum

    4384

    Forum Posts

    0

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 1

    User Lists: 1

    Edited By spraynardtatum

    Please listen to the music provided in the Youtube (copyright trademarked) video below while reading this post. It is very beautiful and illustrates the feelings I'm having over the recent Microsoft (copyright trademarked) press conference and the announcement of the Xbone:

    Dearest Xbone,

    I am sorry to be in the position I am in right now. It is not what I have wanted and I hope you do not remember poorly of me when I'm old and you are gone. We cannot be together. You got creepy. I don't even know when it happened to be honest, but my gut doesn't lie, you're going to be a creepy product to have in the house... license in the house.... Oh I don't know, you have my heart in a vice. I feel guilty because I didn't acknowledge the signs before it happened. I want you, but I must turn away because I don't think you even know what you're asking of me.

    What are you asking of me?

    I never thought you the bully. I always thought there was a lump of soul in your beating green heart but alas you've shown your true colors. During our first acquaintance no less. You've changed things forever and you didn't even bat an eye. Like you didn't even know what you did. You didn't even know! You never thought about how uncomfortable it'll be to explain to MY friends that you installed a camera that keeps track of their heart rate and mood in my house? I mean, can the answer to why someone would do something so weird really be TV and internet and games? We can already do that stuff. You have got to tell me why. It's just a weird idea, is all.

    I don't like giving out my personal information as much as you like holding onto it and sometimes I don't even know why you ask for it. I don't think you even know why you ask for it. We never talk about it. I don't mean to nag but you make me. There's just been something in your voice lately that makes me feel like you want to smother me.

    This is no way to live. I'm verklempt all the time. You've drained me. Please consider the creep factor of your device collecting all that data all the time. Maybe I'm overreacting but tell me so! Did the money and power consume you totally? All I see are plastered smiles and the worlds smallest violin being played by a giant. You bit too far into my side of the pie. There's only a certain amount of corporation that I want to be included in my household and I believe you crossed that line. For me. Who knows how many more. I thought I was a core gamer but your own words poison me against you. You made a big boo boo and I'm not sure your games are going to help. Most of those feel like soulless money now too.

    I will now find out what the world is without you. Unfortunately I don't think that will be possible with you in my home. You may spread and make all my other items in my house licenses too.

    Sincerely,

    Spray

    Avatar image for captain_max707
    captain_max707

    680

    Forum Posts

    697

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 0

    User Lists: 0

    I am sorry for your loss.

    Avatar image for jouseldelka
    JouselDelka

    979

    Forum Posts

    0

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 0

    User Lists: 0

    #2  Edited By JouselDelka

    That was funny in a sad way. But you focused too much on the creepy Kinect 2.0 and forgot the lack of game focus and the whole TV/sports crap.

    Anyway, this is probably the way Playstation players felt after SONY went mad with their PS2 popularity and screwed up the PS3, or the way Nintendo players felt when Nintendo went mad with their 90s popularity and screwed up with the Wii. It seems all console manufacturers are hell bent on fucking up when they're on top.

    Try to get a gaming PC and you'll never have such heartbreaking surprises again! It's all one continuous smooth sail that defies generations, and you'll love every minute of it.

    If you can't, I hope the PS4 will be a warm shoulder for you.

    Avatar image for cloudnineboya
    cloudnineboya

    990

    Forum Posts

    1

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 0

    User Lists: 0

    #3  Edited By cloudnineboya

    genius, i nearly cried.

    Avatar image for earlessshrimp
    EarlessShrimp

    1853

    Forum Posts

    2735

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 3

    User Lists: 10

    Hey, It's not easy being green.

    Avatar image for librorumprohibitorum
    LibrorumProhibitorum

    443

    Forum Posts

    18

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 0

    User Lists: 0

    I picture the Xbox One under a bus stop during a heavy storm crying as it monologues this letter through its mind/harddrive.

    Avatar image for zero_
    zero_

    2105

    Forum Posts

    378

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 0

    User Lists: 6

    Deepest condolences.

    Avatar image for the_laughing_man
    The_Laughing_Man

    13807

    Forum Posts

    7460

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 1

    User Lists: 0

    I really feel that the MS conference was tossed together at the last moment and was very poorly planned. I think we will see more at E3. This felt more like them saying " Hey guys we got something to!" Showing off when they where really not ready. Even more making me think that is watching it on my 360 at the end of it right away a big fat E3 countdown was tossed up.

    I will hold judgement until E3.


    The only reason I plan to get X1 is because my friends play xbox. If they pick to go to PS4 I will get a PS4. I hold no loyalty.

    Avatar image for veektarius
    veektarius

    6420

    Forum Posts

    45

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 11

    User Lists: 1

    #8  Edited By veektarius

    I too feel that the lack of any green on the crossbone console is an outrage to long-time X-Box owners.

    Avatar image for nadafinga
    Nadafinga

    1045

    Forum Posts

    36764

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 2

    User Lists: 10

    Stay strong brother, you'll make it through. There's other fish in the sea.

    Avatar image for vikingdeath1
    vikingdeath1

    1356

    Forum Posts

    5

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 0

    User Lists: 0

    at first I didn't get it, but then I played the music and started reading.

    I'm so sorry duder, keep strong in these darkest of times.

    Avatar image for spraynardtatum
    spraynardtatum

    4384

    Forum Posts

    0

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 1

    User Lists: 1

    #11  Edited By spraynardtatum

    Thanks for all the support guys/girls. I was able to finally eat something today.

    Avatar image for spraynardtatum
    spraynardtatum

    4384

    Forum Posts

    0

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 1

    User Lists: 1

    @jouseldelka: I have a PC already so hopefully I can skate by on that this gen. Thank you for your kind words.

    Avatar image for big_jon
    big_jon

    6533

    Forum Posts

    2539

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 2

    User Lists: 18

    #14  Edited By big_jon

    I guess I am the only one looking forward to a new Xbox, assuming E3 is good that is, I plan on getting it and a Wii U this year if the games come.

    Avatar image for aetheldod
    Aetheldod

    3914

    Forum Posts

    0

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 0

    User Lists: 2

    ;_; here here duder its all alright

    Avatar image for tarsier
    Tarsier

    1491

    Forum Posts

    126

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 0

    User Lists: 4

    im just hoping that the cool looking games announced at E3 are also going to be on steam!

    Avatar image for onyxghost
    onyxghost

    405

    Forum Posts

    0

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 0

    User Lists: 4

    This whole conference feels like PR and marketing feeling out the public. Float a few noncommittal ideas and see how the public responds. If PR thinks the backlash is minimal or acceptable, then, full steam ahead.

    Avatar image for spraynardtatum
    spraynardtatum

    4384

    Forum Posts

    0

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: 1

    User Lists: 1

    #18  Edited By spraynardtatum
    Avatar image for hector
    Hector

    3550

    Forum Posts

    2247

    Wiki Points

    0

    Followers

    Reviews: -1

    User Lists: 1

    Stay strong! Life will find a way.

    This edit will also create new pages on Giant Bomb for:

    Beware, you are proposing to add brand new pages to the wiki along with your edits. Make sure this is what you intended. This will likely increase the time it takes for your changes to go live.

    Comment and Save

    Until you earn 1000 points all your submissions need to be vetted by other Giant Bomb users. This process takes no more than a few hours and we'll send you an email once approved.