Any advice for a nervous driver? (UK)

Alright duders,

So, I haven't driven in like ten years (I'm 33) but for my new job I have to drive all over the county. I'm terrified every time I get behind the wheel of my car, and I'm worried I'm going to cause a crash or something because of how uncertain I am.

Any basic advice for what's basically a new driver? I'm going to routinely be taking trips on Dual Carriageways, occasional Motorways, and a lot of country/rural driving.

I drove to work last night at like 7pm (30 minute drive up a bypass) and it was fine, but I was so worried the whole time.

Any advice that would help?

Not from the UK, but I've had a license for a few decades and never been in an accident so that has to count for something...

The biggest tip i have is: Never make a rushed decision. You want to be as predictable as possible to the people around you.

For the country/rural driving, don't swerve to avoid small critters. It's not worth hitting a tree or something just because you didn't want to run over a squirrel

I've only had my licence for a year and I decided to massively over prepare for my test by constantly watching videos of driving instructors on Youtube. There's a guy called Ashley Neal who puts out TONS of videos on the most mundane of driving scenarios, he can come off as a bit of a dick sometimes but his advice always comes from a place of trying to reduce accidents, I still find his stuff useful to watch.

My general tip would be, you are far less likely to get in an accident if you are taking your time and doing extra checks. You may annoy the drivers around you but I'd rather mildly annoy someone than crash into someone.

When I first got my moped I was pretty scared about using roads. I knew I could control myself, but not other drivers. Three years on, I'm nearly ready to take my full car test, and I am a lot less afraid than I used to be.

The reason behind this is two fold.

1. Riding a moped to work and back every day for 18 months forced me to get used to using roads, and due to the times of day and Welsh weather (had to change my work outfit more than a handful of times upon arriving), forced me to get used to anticipating well ahead of when many would think it necessary.

2. Taking my time with the car learning process to get over my main fear (being in control of an enormous death machine), which has been costly to my wallet, but undeniably helpful to my confidence and skill. It's taken 9 months of lessons to internalise that other drivers want to get into accidents just as little as I do.

My advice to you is to practice in many weather types and at different times of the day. You don't get better/more confident at something by being afraid of it. Your new role will kinda force you to follow this advice, but there's nothing that can really be done about the fear you're feeling right now. Go for a drive in your downtime, or on the weekend. The only real way to fight driving fear is by building confidence, and this takes time and repetitive practice.

If you have the time/money, try signing up with Red for an Advance Driving course. If you are that worried about getting into an accident, advanced driving courses can help with this.

If your nervous because you are out of practice driving, then drive as much as you can, get as much practice as you can, and if possible, see if your area has programs for driver (re)training or skills refreshing.

If you feel your anxiety about driving is abnormal / pathological or over exaggerated, see a psychotherapist.

@sombre: This sounds nuts, but I’ve noticed I get way less confident in my driving abilities once my eye glasses prescription gets worse / blurrier. If you wear prescription lenses, maybe get those re-evaluated.

American here.

The one thing I remember from the driving class I had sixteen years ago is the phrase "assume everyone else is an idiot". The point is, don't trust other drivers to do this right. As often as you can, check what they're doing.

Also, don't follow too closely and don't worry about how impatient the guy behind you is. It's better to be five minutes late because you were patient than forty five minutes late because you were in a wreck. If someone is tailgating you, let them pass, or pull over and let them in front of you.

As soon as you are able, get a lot of driving practice in. Not some. A lot. Drive around backroads, highways, cities, whatever, and just get more comfortable with it. Have a more experienced driver with you if you can. Be careful, but not so tensed up that you are terrified to do anything.

...also, don't know how it is in the UK, but please don't slow down on the on ramp while I'm trying to let you on. God damn it.

Pay for a few driving lessons, and do some long drives on the weekend without the pressure of thinking of getting to work on time. Both should reawaken that muscle memory and build your confidence back.

The more you drive the more comfortable you will feel if you can talk yourself through it. I assume you are alone in this car? Think about driving as you drive and verbalized what you see and how you feel. Sometime just saying I'm feeling nervous about this yet logically there is no reason to be nervous helps. Moreover, as you drive pat yourself on teh back for doing something correctly, like say, "I went through that roundabout very well." or "I should have gone a bit faster to merge into traffic there, but I will remember that for next time."

If you do have someone you can talk to about this do that, but like I said above = you can talk to yourself through this too. You don't want to bottle up emotions, you want to get emotions out. if you verbalise what you feel, you can then examine those feelings and process them. It seem mad to talk to yourself in teh car, but many people do this - just remember to focus on what you did right not beat yourself up for small mistakes. Heck if you want to get an online psychologist to talk with them that is GREAT too, but not everyone has the means to do that. So third best if you don't have family or friends who might be supportive, is just 'talking it out' to yourself.

Practice! Take your car out during off traffic hours and just drive around. In addition to getting comfortable with your vehicle, getting to know the streets around you will also help. Your daily commute might be stressing you out now, but give it a month to get familiar with the route and the kind of traffic that take it.

I went through a similar thing where I suddenly had a daily commute after not driving for 12 years and.. yeah duder; Just drive around. :)

I've got generalized anxiety and not just a little bit, but I think what got me comfortable driving is; my first car didn't have a working speedometer, so instead of worrying about doing something wrong, I *had* to focus on the flow of traffic.

Maybe pop a sticky note on that thing and just focus on feel.

I would definitely advise to drive a lot and get more experience, this is a key factor. While taking turns and parking can be teached, getting in the flow of traffic and actually predicting what other people are going to do is learned by experience. Try to look around you and if possible two cars further, so that you can anticipate their actions, which influence the car in front of you.

Its good to drive every day now because you have too for a job, its a good motivator and keeps you on the road. The only downside is that its probably always the same route, which can give you fake comfort. I drive every day to my work and sometimes I completely zone out, which is not bad, but it doesnt surprise me anymore.

While driving extra in the weekend with other routes works, you can take other routes to work as well. Study has shown that sometimes changing the routes to work can give you a good break in the mind and keeps you more interested in the day or job, so thats an extra bonus. ;)

Take a few drinks first. It will make you less nervous.

But seriously, I sympathize with this. Many years ago I had a pretty bad accident (no one injured, thankfully) and for a couple years after that I didn't want to drive on the freeway. My only advice would be

1. Be hyper-aware of your surroundings, constantly checking your mirrors AND turning around to check your blind spot when necessary.

2. Take a rest if you're too tired.

3. Keep sun glasses in the car at all times in case the Sun is too bright.

4. Minimize distractions. Don't touch your phone.

5. Keep practicing

If you're also feeling anxious when not driving, I find that a quick mindfulness meditation can help a lot. Take two or so minutes just focusing on your breath etc., and then spend one minute thinking about your own feelings in a more objective way, asking yourself what you are fearing and what to do about it. Often I find that after meditation, the worries I have don't seem as important or dire.

Everyone else has given most of the advice already but I'll add something. If you are driving on wet roads, be careful when/if accelerating on a curve. If you have bad tires or there are wet leaves on the road, you might be really surprised by how easy it is to start sliding sideways. Back in high school I was with my friend who was driving. We're on a back road going the speed limit. He must have bumped the gas pedal just a little too much as we were going around a small curve and the back end went left,then right, he over corrected and we slid totally sideways into the hill beside us. Totally wrecked his front end. We were both like how tf did that happen? Looked back down the road and noticed all the wet smashed leaves right on the curve. It was like ice.

I'm 35 now and have never had an accident. Only other recommendation I can give is to pay attention. Be in the habit of checking your mirrors even when no one is around. A lot of situations and accidents can be avoided had people been paying better attention or leaving more space between vehicles.

@sombre: you will very quickly become more experienced and comfortable as you drive, but for the first few weeks while you feel nervous look ahead at your journeys on google maps so you can look at any bigger junctions and know what you need to do.

Drive defensively, not aggressively, and don't worry about the attitudes of aggressive drivers. Aggressive drivers create new aggressive, angry drivers because their road sickness just bleeds over to them. A commute is not a race. You are NEVER going to save as much time as you want to, so it's ALWAYS better to just take a deep breath and be defensive, go the speed limit, and most of all let the road rage of others just roll off your back. This is all coming from the US, by the way. Maybe Brits are friendlier drivers. In the US, there seems to be nothing you can do short of kicking a dog that will upset someone more than daring to follow the speed limit.

I didn't drive for a while either and as someone with an unhealthy dose of anxiety here are a few things I did that have helped.

1. Look up your route ahead of time. Whether it's a routine trip to a grocery store or a long drive to someplace new, I used to use Google maps to plan my route ahead of time. From which streets I'd be turning onto, to how many lights along the way, to turning on the satellite view to see which lanes I needed to be in. This gave me some peace when I knew I was already in the correct lane and just needed to maintain my speed until my next turn.

2. Practice. Small trips make the habit of driving easier. Small things like checking your mirrors, looking behind you when you reverse, and getting used to the area directly around where you live can really help.

3. Don't be afraid to avoid busier areas at first. For a while, and still to this day, I'll just skip interstates or major highways if I can without too much of an inconvenience. I see no reason to battle it out with people going 20 over the speed limit to make it somewhere 5 minutes quicker. Trekking over familiar roads makes some trips more routine and less scary.

Overall you can do this. I know a lot of people who are scared of driving. But over time the anxiety will lessen and you'll be hopping in the car like it's nothing.

Thanks everyone for the belting advice :D

Gonna drive thirty miles on Monday to a school I'm visiting, so I'll let you know how it went :)

@sombre: Even though this thread got bumped by a bot, how's it going lately?

Great :D It's like second nature to me now. It was a bit scary at first, but now I can drive wherever, whenever and it's fine.

I drove from Devon to Manchester at xmas, and it was scary as hell, but I did it. My first time on a motorway, Nowhere as bad as I thought

Driving can be scary, but with practice, you'll gain confidence. Remember to take it slow, stay focused, follow the rules, and don't be afraid to ask for help. You got this!