I don't think Amanda can automatically get out of the locker... Maybe she can, I am trying to think back. Yeah, maybe that can happen (I forget because you don't use them that often really). The game is about using sight and sound to know where the xeno is. Also, if you have a home theater system, or maybe nice headphones, you'll find that you won't really need the motion tracker that much, and so you use it very sparingly, by taking it out for a few seconds, then putting it away. When you're in the locker, do the same thing. Plus, though I don't believe I ever died by it since I didn't keep it out long, the xeno can hear the motion tracker, so don't keep it on while it's around. I don't know, I never found the game to be frustrating. All it takes is learning how it works, and you're good to go. As long as you're not running through (though there are stretches of time in it that you can), you should be fine. I don't know what to tell you, but... I'm pretty sure it's your fault :).
The only time the game frustrated me to a small extent was later in the game, and there are these vents (not the normal ones) that just didn't want to load and open, so I'd have to go back and forth hoping they'd open. I recommend saving as often as you can; so do a task, save. Every time I would die, I never had to go back in terms of progress. In your place, I guess I would suggest braving it when it's out of sight (yes, even when it's relatively close), and getting to the next hiding place, closer to where you need to be. I would also say lockers are less useful, and less used than other hiding places, like under tables, and almost never used later in the game. Try not to walk or especially run under open vents where you can sometimes see the xeno's drool dripping out of it, even if it's not dripping.
You should also know that, to my surprise near the end of the game on hard (my second playthrough), for the first time I had noticed, the xeno can actually go inside the vent and kill you if it knows you're there, so hiding in the vents aren't always safe, even though they often are. Again, about the lockers. You don't need to hold your breath when in them; the only time to do so would be when the xeno is extremely close, but it doesn't really work since it'll probably get you anyways from what I remember. You don't need to hold your breath, though instinctively, I did lean back as you did, so that's a fine idea. If you don't already, you should buy a home theater system for surround, it helps I'm sure (and the game just sounds amazing).
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