Voicemail Dump Truck Voicemail Dump Truck 69

An extremely nice dump truck this week

My family watched all of 24 cycling out the Netflix DVDs back in high school, and weird Japanese 24 commercials were some of the first things I looked up on ol Google Video. And then when I stayed for a summer there in 2011 people were still talking about it; the teachers at my school and locals in the bar would talk about it when I'd say I was from America.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ga4nNSqsYp0&

It was huge there, I tells ya

Still early on, but on the topic of inappropriate movies to show in school, I had to pause and share a story from my high school days that I'll always remember. I was in some sort of computer class, and the computer labs in my school all had one shared wall with a normal classroom, which was mostly just windows. The students were usually facing opposite directions, so the teachers could see each other through the window, but the students couldn't see what was going on in the other classroom without turning around.

Anyway, in the middle of class, out of nowhere, the teacher just blurts out "Did I just see tits?" before stopping the class and going into the other classroom. As it turned out, the other classroom had a substitute teacher, and for some reason, they decided that a good, appropriate movie for a bunch of kids in high school was the very raunchy and crude film Superbad. The movie was quickly turned off and replaced by Office Space instead, and our class was resumed.

Fill the three gallon jug and pour it into the five gallon jug. Fill the three gallon jug again and fill up the rest of the five gallon jug, which leaves one gallon in the three gallon jug. Empty the five gallon jug. Pour the one gallon from the three gallon jug into the five gallon jug. Fill the three gallon jug again and pour that into the five gallon jug, which has one gallon of water in it, leaving you with four gallons.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you had a beef wellington, they're not going to make it to order unless you're cool with waiting a very long time. They're not overly difficult to make - there's just a lot of steps. The biggest hurdle to making one is the price of the tenderloin - I feel like Jan could probably walk Dan through making one over a voice call and end up with an edible end product.

Take one beef tenderloin, season liberally, sear on all sides over crazy high heat, 2 minutes per side plus searing the ends, so about 10 minutes. Let it rest a few minutes on a cooling rack. I'll usually take any trimmings here and then throw them in the hot pan. Throw in some minced shallot, garlic, thyme, a bit of flour. Cook that off, then add wine and beef stock and let this simmer while everything else is happening.

While the tenderloin is resting, time for the duxelles. Finely mince MUSHROOMS and fry it off in a pan with some shallots (fancy lad onions), garlic, and thyme. You want these to be bone dry, so 10+ minutes.

Roll out another sheet of cellophane. Take your parma ham and shingle it to make a sheet of ham that's large enough to roll your tenderloin in. Or make a crepe. Apply the duxelles like you were smearing refried beans over a Taco Bell Mexican Pizza. Without the dry duxelles, the juice from the tenderloin will make the bottom of your wellington a soggy mess and you will get a blowout.

Take your chilled tenderloin out of the fridge and give it a good coat of English MUSTARD. I like to use Coleman's for the 'heat'. Then plop it in on the edge of the parma ham/duxelle burrito and roll it up. Then, give your tenderloin in a blanket a few twists in the plastic wrap so that it's very tight. Plop that in the fridge for a bit - a half hour or so. You want it cool enough for the next step.

Plop down that puff pastry. We just buy our's, but have to get a little creative as it's usually too small to completely cover the meat package. Combine EGG yolk (not the white - the crunch is off putting!) with water, whisk to make an EGG wash. Use this like you'd like an envelope to seal it, sealing the tenderloin in its puffy blanket. If your meat hasn't chilled long enough and it's warm, you'll melt the butter in the puff pastry. If you handle the puff pastry too much, you'll melt the butter. Once it's sealed up, score the top of the pastry with a knife, making cuts to the top deep enough to go through the pastry. Then brush the EGG wash over the pastry so it comes out nice and golden. Top with fancy lad muldoon's flaky salt. If your pastry won't wrap neatly around the tenderloin, use scraps to make a decoration and hide the seam.

Into a 400 degree oven it goes, check at 15 minutes to see if the pastry is golden. You aren't looking to cook the meat - that was 80% done in step 1. This final step will carry it to the finish line. Once the pastry is golden like a pie, take it out and let it chill on a cooling rack for 5-10 minutes.

While you're waiting for your wellington to cool, strain out your sauce. Taste and add salt and pepper to taste. Mix in a tablespoon of butter. Heck, throw some peeled yukon golds in some boiling water - when done, roughly mash with a hand masher or toss it through a potato ricer. Then, take a brick of Kerrigold butter and fold that in. Season with salt and white pepper to taste.

Serve with a glass of seasonal limited-edition Coke product.

@shiyamiro: I like the Calorie Mate advert Kiefer did in-character as Jack Bauer, where he runs through a Tokyo subway car yelling one-syllable English words: "YES!" "YES!" "NO!" "MOVE!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYwaMQ8ln3k

@locclo: Is the US seriously so puritanical that they can't stand students watching a high school film in high school?! I'm not a particular Superbad fan, but it was shown to us in pre-highschool and absolutely no-one batted an eyelid. I guess it can be described as a bit raunchy, but it's nothing compared to the stuff the average high-school student has seen in their day-to-day life. We watched American Pie (which I don't like) in middle school, and the teacher didn't mind.

@zelyre said:

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you had a beef wellington, they're not going to make it to order unless you're cool with waiting a very long time. They're not overly difficult to make - there's just a lot of steps. The biggest hurdle to making one is the price of the tenderloin - I feel like Jan could probably walk Dan through making one over a voice call and end up with an edible end product.

Take one beef tenderloin, season liberally, sear on all sides over crazy high heat, 2 minutes per side plus searing the ends, so about 10 minutes. Let it rest a few minutes on a cooling rack. I'll usually take any trimmings here and then throw them in the hot pan. Throw in some minced shallot, garlic, thyme, a bit of flour. Cook that off, then add wine and beef stock and let this simmer while everything else is happening.

While the tenderloin is resting, time for the duxelles. Finely mince MUSHROOMS and fry it off in a pan with some shallots (fancy lad onions), garlic, and thyme. You want these to be bone dry, so 10+ minutes.

Roll out another sheet of cellophane. Take your parma ham and shingle it to make a sheet of ham that's large enough to roll your tenderloin in. Or make a crepe. Apply the duxelles like you were smearing refried beans over a Taco Bell Mexican Pizza. Without the dry duxelles, the juice from the tenderloin will make the bottom of your wellington a soggy mess and you will get a blowout.

Take your chilled tenderloin out of the fridge and give it a good coat of English MUSTARD. I like to use Coleman's for the 'heat'. Then plop it in on the edge of the parma ham/duxelle burrito and roll it up. Then, give your tenderloin in a blanket a few twists in the plastic wrap so that it's very tight. Plop that in the fridge for a bit - a half hour or so. You want it cool enough for the next step.

Plop down that puff pastry. We just buy our's, but have to get a little creative as it's usually too small to completely cover the meat package. Combine EGG yolk (not the white - the crunch is off putting!) with water, whisk to make an EGG wash. Use this like you'd like an envelope to seal it, sealing the tenderloin in its puffy blanket. If your meat hasn't chilled long enough and it's warm, you'll melt the butter in the puff pastry. If you handle the puff pastry too much, you'll melt the butter. Once it's sealed up, score the top of the pastry with a knife, making cuts to the top deep enough to go through the pastry. Then brush the EGG wash over the pastry so it comes out nice and golden. Top with fancy lad muldoon's flaky salt. If your pastry won't wrap neatly around the tenderloin, use scraps to make a decoration and hide the seam.

Into a 400 degree oven it goes, check at 15 minutes to see if the pastry is golden. You aren't looking to cook the meat - that was 80% done in step 1. This final step will carry it to the finish line. Once the pastry is golden like a pie, take it out and let it chill on a cooling rack for 5-10 minutes.

While you're waiting for your wellington to cool, strain out your sauce. Taste and add salt and pepper to taste. Mix in a tablespoon of butter. Heck, throw some peeled yukon golds in some boiling water - when done, roughly mash with a hand masher or toss it through a potato ricer. Then, take a brick of Kerrigold butter and fold that in. Season with salt and white pepper to taste.

Serve with a glass of seasonal limited-edition Coke product.

Post of the week

The voicemails are becoming the vehicle for dudes giving each other shit and im here for it

I wonder if Dan knows the connection between Seinfeld and Command & Conquer (I think he was a fan of that series). A leader on the Allies side of Red Alert 1 is in an episode in one of the final years if I recall correctly.

Hah, the way Dan read up on reviews for Seinfeld, reminds me of how i experienced adventure games like The Longest Journey & Grim Fandango through a walkthrough + a few screenshots. I think it was placed across a few editions of a gaming magazine.

in High School and Junior High i remember watching alot of rated R movies in class in the 90s, like Boyz n Hood, Menace to Society, Terminator 1 and 2

also hearing Dan talk about mustard and knowing he loves BBQ but does he know mustard is in most BBQ sauces and rubs???? lol