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Kid Icarus: Uprising Will Come With a Plastic Stand In Japan Because...Wait, What?

Apparently the ideal way to play this handheld 3DS game is with your portable console affixed to a plastic stand. No, seriously.

Has there been any greater torment to video game fans the world over than the tyranny of portability? While great games have come for consoles like the DS, the PSP, and the like, the true tragedy of these titles is the sheer amount of portability each console comes encumbered with. How many times have you found yourself playing a game like Super Mario Land 3D and suddenly become overwhelmingly frustrated by the unfettered ability to move your console around as you please? How many times have you been sitting on a subway train, plodding along at Ocarina of Time only to think to yourself, "Man, this game would be so much better if I could attach it to some kind of stand that could sit atop a table. Couldn't someone out there hear my cries of pain and displeasure?!?"

Finally. A plastic stand thing. Just what my 3DS was aching for.
Finally. A plastic stand thing. Just what my 3DS was aching for.

Fear not person who would actually think something like this, for Nintendo has you covered--at least in Japan. You may have heard a rumbling or two over the last several months regarding upcoming 3DS title Kid Icarus: Uprising. Specifically, you may have heard the controls are an unwieldy, spastic mess that borders on unplayable in spots. Even more specifically, you may have heard this from me, because I've played it, and it's true. Or, at least it was true the last time I had the chance to play it, which admittedly was several months ago. That said, based on today's news, it sounds like maybe those issues aren't entirely worked out.

As an effort to address any potential control issues, Nintendo plans to release a plastic stand that will come bundled with Kid Icarus: Uprising. The stand (seen in the attached screenshot, provided by Masahiro Sakurai) sits the 3DS at a nice, playable angle, and also gets rid of all that infernal hand-holding. Presumably the stand is lightweight enough to where you could bring it with you, and set up the stand on, say, your laptop bag, or desk at work. Also presumably, no one in their right mind would want to do this with a handheld system because it's a handheld system. Hand. Held.

This news comes on the heels of yesterday's announcement that Uprising will also support the Circle Pad Pro attachment, with the goal of aiding left-handed players. So, in theory, the more sinister-minded folk among us could find themselves taking their 3DS off the charging dock, attaching a Circle Pad Pro, and then setting their system atop this plastic stand--provided the Circle Padded 3DS will even fit comfortably into this stand, of course. Now all that's left is for Nintendo to release a controller you can use to play the game from a distance and a video-out port that lets you play on your TV and oh wait that's a goddamned console.

Nintendo has not yet confirmed whether the stand peripheral will come along with the American and European releases of Uprising, but given that this is actually designed to make the game (theoretically) work properly, it wouldn't be insane to assume that it will. Or, well, any more insane than this story already is.

Alex Navarro on Google+