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Namco Bandai Sees Your Rage Over Ivy's Breasts, Raises You One Spiky, Misshapen Voldo Crotch [UPDATED: Or Not]

It's January, you guys. This is what the news looks like.

UPDATE: Joystiq claims this is fake, as the Voldo image is taken from a SoulCalibur IV promotional shot. Perhaps it is. Perhaps it isn't. If it is, then I officially rescind my "touche" to Namco Bandai and remain annoyed at their blatant boob usage. That said, whoever cooked this up should be hired by Namco Bandai to do all their Japanese advertising from here on out.

--

Perhaps you're already aware of recent grousing among those sensitive toward the use of women's ludicrously over-sized breasts to promote various video game entertainments in regards to a recent SoulCalibur V advertisement which featured an almost comically brazen close-up of series regular Ivy's gigantic boobs. For those unaware of the just-mentioned advertisement and subsequent outrage, here is the ad in question.

Assuming you are now appropriately outraged because of boobs, I now direct your attention to the other ad publisher Namco Bandai recently posted (then quickly removed) from the game's Facebook page. Perhaps as a direct follow-up to the outcry from those who saw the objectification of the female form as crass and lazy, the publisher then posted the below nightmare fueling image of other series regular Voldo, AKA the weird S&M bendy guy with the knives and the hypnotically transfixing codpiece.

No Caption Provided

Apparently the translation of the text across Voldo's discolored, fetid-looking stomach reads "curious?" How's that for a Monday morning boner groaner?

In direct response to Namco Bandai's Voldo ad, I simply say "touche." While I do think the blatant Ivy boob-leering in the original ad wasn't in particularly great taste, I can certainly appreciate a company that can look a controversy directly in the eye and thrust out its spiky, disquieting man-crotch as a response.

In direct response to the sure-to-happen influx of comments complaining that this is "not news," I'd like to point out that it's early January and nothing of value is really happening right now. Also, having just returned from vacation, I was just so anxious to get back to writing for you guys that I just up and grabbed for the first heaving man-crotch that crossed my desk. Yes, I know how that sounds, and no, I don't plan to correct it.

Seriously, I missed you guys.

(Thanks to PlayStation: The Official Magazine's Anne Lewis for sending this my way. May your trauma be swiftly forgotten.)

165 Comments

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WrathOfBanja

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Edited By WrathOfBanja

Leave it to Alex to write an article about dicks.

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PeasantAbuse

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Edited By PeasantAbuse

@Humanity: Ivy looks downright classy in this game compared to how she looked in Soul Calibur 4. THAT was ridiculous.

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critthreat

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Edited By critthreat

@2HeadedNinja: That's not a comment.

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xymox

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Edited By xymox

Video games.

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Bratcher_Lev

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Edited By Bratcher_Lev

I love how there was a specific moment where Alex had both the Ivy boobs and Voldo crotch pics in front of him and he had to decide which to use for the story's thumbnail and story pic. And then he went with Voldo's codpiece.

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onyxghost

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Edited By onyxghost

Thanks for the man crotch Alex. Umm...Monday.

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Scarabus

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Edited By Scarabus

Don't apologize, Alex. The real news here is why this wasn't real. It's marketing genius!

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Humanity

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Edited By Humanity

@PeasantAbuse said:

@Humanity: Ivy looks downright classy in this game compared to how she looked in Soul Calibur 4. THAT was ridiculous.

Wow you're absolutely right. I forgot or maybe just blocked out her outfit from 4. I remember when I first saw the SC5 gameplay with Ivy I just thought "great her tits are still huge and jiggly" but you're correct, that outfit is pure class. Her ass is covered, she has sleeves and some sort of jacket. Certainly a huge leap from her thong-leotard in 4.

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deactivated-5e49e9175da37

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Getting mad at Soul Calibur for being ... Soul Calibur is kind of like getting mad at Kirby for being adorable. It's just kind of... what it is. If Ivy was normal what would that series even be? Evil Sword Story?

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Animasta

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Edited By Animasta

@Bratcher_Lev said:

I love how there was a specific moment where Alex had both the Ivy boobs and Voldo crotch pics in front of him and he had to decide which to use for the story's thumbnail and story pic. And then he went with Voldo's codpiece.

come on man, he has to make it worksafe

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Paradigmer

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Edited By Paradigmer

I've heard of soft news, but never soft-core news...

I apologize in advance.

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Enigma777

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Edited By Enigma777

I love you Alex, even if your article tittles annoy me sometimes...

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jakob187

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Edited By jakob187

@MayorFeedback said:

@jakob187: Alex wrote this.

But he's right, PATRICK, YOU WRITE ABOUT WHATEVER YOU WANT.

OOPS!

Sorry, I'm used to people bitching at Patrick about writing "non-news".

WAY TO CONFUSE EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T LOOK AT AVATAR ICONS OR AUTHOR NAMES, ALEX!

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2HeadedNinja

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Edited By 2HeadedNinja
@critThreat said:

@2HeadedNinja: That's not a comment.

You might want to look something up.
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Little_Socrates

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Edited By Little_Socrates

Thanks for the write-up, Alex. I laughed a bit.

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veektarius

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Edited By veektarius

I guess that those boobs might be a little big.

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LiquidPrince

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Edited By LiquidPrince

I like boobs. Sue me. Not a big fan of Soul Calibur though, so I like the ad more then the game.

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hrn212

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Edited By hrn212

@Video_Game_King said:

Wait, that was Ivy in the other ad? Looking at it now, she looks like a particularly slutty Cat Woman. (Or maybe I've played too much Arkham City.)

How can you even tell? It could be almost anyone with big breasts and plump lips, and therein lies the problem.

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Commisar123

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Edited By Commisar123

I really hope Namco thought that was a good idea

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Deusoma

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Edited By Deusoma

You know, the really funny thing isn't that it's fake. The really funny thing is that Voldo is so, so much worse in Soul Calibur V.
 

 You thought the old codpiece was bad...
 You thought the old codpiece was bad...
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mazik765

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Edited By mazik765

@WinterSnowblind said:

@mazik765 said:

I am pro-boobs and no in the least insulted by them.

You should be insulted by what they think of our intelligence though.

Never really understood why I should be 'offended' by a company showing me boobs. I would never buy a product based on 'hey boobs' but it cannot be argued that this ad in particular is not representative of some aspect of the game. So not really sure how boobs = the presumption that their audience is dumb, and it's not even false advertising in this case. Last time I checked sex was a very mature topic.

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deactivated-6820bf7acbd84

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( '-_-)

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MordeaniisChaos

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Edited By MordeaniisChaos

@Video_Game_King said:

Wait, that was Ivy in the other ad? Looking at it now, she looks like a particularly slutty Cat Woman. (Or maybe I've played too much Arkham City.)

I corrected based on your having played Arkham City.

I'd love to see this ad. Even if Voldo is pretty crazy creepy and weird, there aren't exactly attractive guys in the franches (that I've ever seen) so this is about as close as you'd get...

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McGhee

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Edited By McGhee

Video game advertising has more shit blowing up than jiggling boobs. Thanks Soul Caliber for going against the tide and presenting us with something beautiful rather than the senseless violence of modern war.

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Jeffsekai

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Edited By Jeffsekai

Oh fuck off.

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xyzygy

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Edited By xyzygy

Voldo is just the strangest thing...

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ItBeStefYo

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Edited By ItBeStefYo

Alex you produce the absolute

BEST TEXT CONSISTENTLY

now accept your reward and leave.

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ShadyPingu

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Edited By ShadyPingu

Voldo is so weird.

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MURDERSMASH

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Edited By MURDERSMASH

Monday morning boner groaner.

Amazing.

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Raios

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Edited By Raios

@Deusoma said:

You know, the really funny thing isn't that it's fake. The really funny thing is that Voldo is so, so much worse in Soul Calibur V.

You thought the old codpiece was bad...
You thought the old codpiece was bad...

Looks like I've found my Halloween costume for this year.

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Bestostero

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Edited By Bestostero

that's old news

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Anund

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Edited By Anund

Who else clicked on this article in the hope of seeing some digital boobs?

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PerfidiousSinn

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Edited By PerfidiousSinn

At least Namco is focusing on what people really play Soul Calibur for. Because it certainly isn't the fighting.

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Red12b

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Edited By Red12b

I LIKE BOOBS....

This is the video that made me fall in love with this goddamned website

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Grimluck343

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Edited By Grimluck343

@Napalm said:

@Grimluck343 said:

@Harkat said:

@Lazyaza said:

Dem women's be getting objectified in game advertizing again! How dare companies use full-proof time proven strategies to sell their products, the fiends!

I lol'd. And agreed.

When does sex ever sell?

I'm inclined to think you are being sarcastic, but I have a hunch you're entirely serious.

Note to self: quit being sarcastic on GB.

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zockroach

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Edited By zockroach

monday morning boner ggroaner hahahah

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otzlowe

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Edited By otzlowe

@Babylonian said:

Kind of horrified by the number of people in these comments saying that the Ivy ad is somehow inoffensive "because it works."

Apparently no advertiser ever can be faulted for being creepy, as long as the ad's effective! Neat!

This.

-

That said, I am pretty sure that half of it is people excusing themselves from feeling guilty for enjoying the over-sexualization of media.

Now, I'm not saying the human body is bad, but I will reserve the right to look down on you if you're okay with people marketing mainly to your penis.

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SatelliteOfLove

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Edited By SatelliteOfLove

"When asked for comment this controversy he finds himself embroiled in, Voldo released a press release thru his agent that read: "Ggggggrrrrrrrrhnkkkkkkkkkhh! Kkkkkkksssssssssssssthhhhhhhh! Hssss Hssss Honkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkahh Hahhhhhhhhhhhhh Hahhhhhhhhhhhh"

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trylks

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Edited By trylks

Why all that boobphobia?

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Goblin

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Edited By Goblin

Fun fact: since Voldo first appeared in Soul Blade (a.k.a. Soul Edge) at the age of 43, he will be around 84 years old in SC5.

That probably explains the fetidness.

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renachan

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Edited By renachan

Always keep writing Alex, this was great for a laugh and just passing on zany stuff.

.....Not so much for the comments of people missing why people could take issue with the Ivy ad, but eh. People missing the point of objectification is not a new thing.

Hint for those curious: I like boobs as much as the next person, but as has been pointed out that shot turns Ivy just into a pair of boobs, not really identifiable as a person. Which I'm not expecting better from SoulCalibur but I'll call a duck a duck.

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TheHakku

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Edited By TheHakku

I thought she always upsized! What the hell is with this downsizing?! Blasphemy.

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luthorcrow

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Edited By luthorcrow

Wow, is this really news. Is this just Christian Conservatives getting their cockles up or are there really many neo-feminists left in the world. I mean aside from Rorie. ;)

For fuck sake this Soul Caliber V. This games been soaked over sexualized images and characters since day one.

Besides I don't want to live in a world were I have to listen grousing about such wonderfully rendered breasts.

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Brackynews

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Edited By Brackynews

"My eyes are up here fellas."

@Deusoma: Oh. It's Kefka skullfucking a Frost Spider.

Bet he... /sunglasses... didn't see that coming.

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SpikeSpiegel88

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Edited By SpikeSpiegel88

This just makes me think of the item from "Chronos" which makes it very painfull to watch:P

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Nomin

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Edited By Nomin

Rated M for Mammaries.