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Weapons-Grade Gears Gear

Forget that plastic replica, this lunatic has built his own real-life Lancer.

What freaks me out is how field-ready this thing looks.
What freaks me out is how field-ready this thing looks.
Here's a sterling example of the hoary old adage about life imitating abject awesomeness. Aside from alpha-male behavior laced with homoerotic overtones, nothing sums up Gears of War's blunt-force attitude like the Lancer. Seriously, is there anything ass-kickier than a wicked machine gun with a friggin' chainsaw strapped on the front? As you can tell from this video that CrunchGear dug up, it's even better in real life. We're not talking about some kind of fancy Nerf gun you'd keep in the bottom drawer of your desk, but an actual AR-15 with a functioning chainsaw blade bolted on the front, undoubtedly by a man whose deep commitment to being an unmitigated bad-ass makes my life look like a 24/7 stuffed-animal tea party. Pass me a razzleberry cupcake, Mr. Bearingsworth!

Check out the video for yourself to see some pumpkins get treated like the skulls of some feeble Locust grunts, and don't try to deny the fact that you too would cackle like a madman if you saw this in person.