So I stopped playing these games after AC2. Didn't much care for the way the story was going, didn't feel like spending $60 for more of the same. Now that ACIII's been announced, though, I'm somewhat curious as to where they did end up going with the series and whether I could/would want to get back into things. I would look at the wiki, but those don't always give a good sense of how the story plays out, and I'm lazy.

SO, Giant Bomb, I ask you: Were Brotherhood and Revelations relevant and necessary for playing, story-wise, and do you even like where they're taking the story? Is the sun still exploding for no reason? Are the god aliens still a thing? Does Lucy's face still resemble the Joker's? Just give me the general outline. Haiku's are acceptable.

BH and Rev were fairly insignificant to the overall story, they were more about Ezio's story. The ending's are pretty important though, so I would check out them on youtube.

Nothing important

Ezio got old and gray

Desmond kills Lucy

Brotherhood: After searching for it in Ezio's memories, the modern day Assassin team goes to Rome to find an Apple of Eden. When they get to it, Juno, one of the ancient god things, takes control of Desmond's body and stabs Lucy, killing her. Desmond is left in a coma.
 
Revelations: Desmond, still in a coma, is plugged into the Animus to keep his mind from collapsing or something. Inside, he meets subject 16 who is somehow there. After reliving more of Ezio's life, he learns from Jupiter, another god, the location of a vault of some kind that will help him stop the sun explode-y thing. After, Desmond suddenly wakes up from the coma. The remaining members of the team as well as his father are around him, with the apple. He looks at it, and declares that he knows what he needs to do. In DLC exploring Subject 16's life, it is revealed that Lucy was a double agent for the Templars.

It's worth playing Brotherhood, Revelations' ending can be watched on youtube.

The spoiltastic version:

@Slaker117: Thanks for that. I had no interest in playing Revelations. Also waiting for a DLC to explain that is kind of messed up. Is it even a good explanation or was it just kind of a "By the way..." thing?

If you think that's bad, I've only played the first and a few dozen hours of the second game, and I'm stoked enough about the time period shift for Assassin's Creed 3 that I'm very much on board.

@Benny: Reading that synopsis reminds me a lot of LOST, in that it sounds so far from where I might have expected the plot to turn.

@AndrewB: Well with lost they'd dug a very large hole and didn't have enough time to fill it back in, so just covered over it instead. The AC franchise has had sooooo many games to round out the fiction but have made it so you definitely know it wont be fully explained by the time ACIII is over because they're trickling it out to keep people hooked. They took a huge left turn with the plot in 2 and then have just coasted along in brotherhood and revelations instead of filling in the gaps...

So basically it sounds like... the dumbest thing ever? Is that the appropriate thing to take away from this?