Burnout Legends

The PSP version of Burnout Legends that came out earlier in 2005 was a critical hit, providing exciting races and amazing takedowns for a portable console. That version replicates the action of Burnout 3 for consoles pretty well. Now there's a DS version as well, and sadly to say, it is a pile of total garbage. Criterion, the makers of Burnout and the ones responsible for the PSP version, reportedly outsourced the DS version to another studio, and the lazy uninspired port job this resulted in really shows how little of Burnout actually made it into this game.

Now, it's understandable that due to the PSP's superior hardware, we can give the DS a pass usually for having versions of games that may be graphically worse; however, there is absolutely no excuse for this game being butt ugly. While the PSP version presents some nice varied environments filled with sunny skies and clean buildings, this version offers muddy textures and a generally gray palette. It's also jarring that no flames emit from the cars when boosting, and the only indication that you are boosting is that the camera pans back a bit, and that somehow makes the already low sense of speed even lower. When going faster somehow makes the game look slower, that's not a good thing. Even the menus can't avoid this, presenting drab static backgrounds and menu tiles. Everything about the looks of this game actively repulses the eyes.

But what about the gameplay? Is it any good? If the visuals are any indication, then this game plays like trash as well. If floaty cars and laughable collisions are your kind of Burnout experience, by all means pick this version up. The handling isn't even close to anything resembling satisfactory, let alone what we've seen in the Burnout series. Instead of a short turn followed by sliding you just get basic turning, no matter how fast you're going, and it feels awful. Drifting feels just as broken, and in many cases you can get away without it. You won't be disappointed by the game's broken AI either; it's way to easy. If there's any indication of the rubber-band AI that Burnout games are known for, then this rubber band has been laying in the sun for too long. For a game focused on taking your opponents down in spectacular crashes, most races are a boring drive fest filled with nothing but a test of your ability to reach the finish line first without falling asleep.

This version is also a lot shorter than the PSP version, offering fewer tracks and nowhere near as many events; however, from what we've seen of this game so far, that may be a lone plus for it. The game includes a world tour career mode where you unlock races by finishing high in the standings, though due to the game's broken AI that isn't much of a problem. You could see just about everything in the game given an afternoon of free time. The game also includes crash mode from previous Burnouts, but this version will puncture your lungs from laughter in how it's implemented. Not only are there much, much fewer puzzles than in the PSP version, but the crashes in Crash Mode are extremely small. With so few cars involved in these events, you can often earn the gold medal while only partaking in a second-long Matchbox-esque collision. It's nothing less than an atrocity.

They even ruined the sound of Burnout, as hard as that is to believe. The game doesn't even include the licensed soundtrack of its PSP brethren, instead opting for a few poor-quality midi guitar riffs. Don't hope that the sound effects are any better, as all sound in the game suffers from bad sampling. It all just sounds weak and pathetic, even with headphones, especially with headphones.

The DS is perfectly capable of producing a decent racing game; however, you wouldn't know it from playing Burnout Legends. If the PSP version is a well-thought-out professional piece of entertainment, then the DS version is akin to a lame Chinese knockoff that barely gets anything right save for the box-art. That's probably the only thing the game gets right, actually. It's just enough to make you believe you're buying the authentic Burnout experience until you open it up and discover the disappointment. Nothing about this game is authentic or Burnout (if I may use that as a verb). No care was taken to produce a game near the level of quality on the PSP, and if you own a DS and not a PSP and are hoping for some good Burnout action, you are going to be very, very bummed out.