elpersonavii's Final Fantasy VII (PlayStation) review

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Might leave you dazed

There is a funny thing about this game. It's always making people defend it as if it were some holy grail, and those who haven't experienced it should be shunned and banished to hell. See, the thing is...this game will leave you dazed after playing it, and it really takes a while for you to realize, it's not the greatest thing ever created. The story is complex and quite confusing and the characters are the weirdest bunch of idiots to ever be assembled. But that's the beauty of it.

First you have Cloud, the super saiyin that likes BIG swords, Barret who has a knack for losing pieces of his body, Tifa with her big jugs, Cait Sith with his slots of doom, Vincent with his oh so happy smile, Aerith with her cheap flowers, Cid with his flying boats, and that bitch Yuffie who stole all my materia!!! All these characters have a so called limit break that becomes better as you progress, and they unleash devastating powers upon your oh so weak opponents. Although this game's materia system allows for the ultimate level of customization and let's any character do anything, it still makes you sometimes wish that every character was actually unique when you use them. I always felt as if it didn't really matter who the hell i used when it came to materia, the only thing that mattered when it came to character was the fucking insane limit breaks. But that didn't stop me from looking up Tifa's skirt.

Anywho the shinra bastards wanna take Aerith's ass away from you, while this dude Sephiroth is being badass running away from you. It all boils down to some weird metaphor that we should stop using up all our oil before we destroy ourselves with nukes because we all want it so bad. Or something like that...probably a coincidence...unless...the creators of Final Fantasy are part of a conspiracy!! That's right!! Every last one of those bums is keeping all the oil for themselves, so that we nuke eachother!!! The messege is in the Final Fantasy games...

Just look at FFX. Yea, that game, like...Sin yo!! Sin is just a metaphor for how we are gonna kill eachother if technology gets too advanced!! It's gonna backfire on us, and we'll be stuck in the Matrix!!!!

Check out my Final Fantasy X review for more.

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