This question was both the dumbest and the greatest thing I've heard in a while on the Bombcast. Kudos to whoever came up with that. Racist Dog for me. Cats are jerks.
Less bullet points are better. I like food and trees, and as Vinny said, if it had to be anyone delivering racist remarks to me, might as well have it be Gilbert Gotfried.
Then just move to a super rich white neighborhood. I mean the stipulation is non-whites right? Then the dog's alright with religion?
Cats suck no matter what you do with them.
@Blair said:
The cat. Cats routinely live 'til 20 and I like cats significantly more than dogs.
How about cats that smoke a pack a day ;)
Seriously I could not stop laughing the entire time Ryan was reading this. The last few bombcasts have been so much fun.
Well, I'm not white so the dog will constantly be making racist remarks directed at me. I think that's worse than a year of bad luck from the cat.
well how do you know what race the dog is racist towards? i'd imagine it'd be every race, since the dog probably doesnt have any preference because he's a dog and not a human.
Can Read Minds and Communicate with you telepathically
Plant one tree per day anywhere in the world you want. It grows instantly
He is a 5 star chef
Must be within 25 feet of you at all times or you get "bone-chilling" migranes
Racist - if you are around anyone who isn't white he consantly ridicules them to you through telepathy
The dog has the voice of Gilbert Gotfried
Cat
Teleporatation can transport you anywhere as long as you hold it
He will do your taxes and ensure you receive the highest refund, He will do them the second you get your W-2
If the cat lives to be 20 or older he will grant you the secret to immortality
He will teach you one extreme sport of your choosing and you will become an expert at it
If he dies before he is twenty you will get a curse of a full year of bad luck
He smokes a pack of cigarettes a day and you need to buy them for him
He only eats specialty cat food and you need to drive to the pet store to get it
He is diabetic and make sure he has insulin
He doesn't like being touched and will scratch you if you touch him
I almost want to add one more shitty bullet point for the dog just to even it out a little more, like he shits in your shoes every morning, or if you don't squeeze his anal gland every five hours you lose a tooth.
@TheSouthernDandy: Totally agree, I was laughing hard. And yes, cats are jerks.
I posed this question to my work colleagues and it was 5 dogs to 2 cats. If you added that the cat granted you invisibility while you held it the equation might change but it's still gonna hiss and spit so that isn't so great.
I was initially going to go with the cat, but after reading the bullet points I feel like this is heavily weighed against the cat.
Yeah, smokes a pack a day, diabetic and requires special food. One of those things is going to kill it before 20. The only real con the dog has are the migraines. It being a 5-star chef might be a problem too because then I'm just going to get fat. Racist quips by Gilbert Gotfried just sounds funny.
@sinusoidal: For sure, and the positive of it doing your taxes and getting you high returns is going to immediately be killed off by all the bills the thing is going to require. A pet diabetic smoker who only eats special cat food is a huge expense. And you can't teleport without touching it which means it will also attack you for touching it.
The only downfall of the dog that might make me reconsider is if the migraine effect still happens after it dies. I didn't listen to the podcast for the details, but if I'm having a constant migraine for not hauling a corpse around with me then I might be team cat. Otherwise the dog is more bearable.
I was wracking my brain trying to figure out why I couldn't remember this. Then I saw someone mention Vinny and Ryan and I realized this is five years old.
Not really an animal guy, but I'm less adverse to cats than dogs. And getting scratched seems like a small price to pay for the ability to teleport anywhere.
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