"Pirates just stole shit from other people?" - Dan Ryckert on Ubisoft's Skull and Bones

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#1 Posted by TimesHero (974 posts) -

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#2 Posted by frytup (1346 posts) -

I mean... Dan accidentally said something kinda true. There were pirates (in all but name) who were funded by governments.

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#3 Posted by Ares42 (4366 posts) -

That's a goldmine of different reaction shots.

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#4 Posted by avantegardener (2381 posts) -

Might be my favourite of part of this years E3!

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#5 Edited by Seikenfreak (1541 posts) -

I mean this in this nicest like HA HA way possible but.. jesus, every day Dan finds a way to make himself even more perfectly fit the village idiot image of him in my mind. Like something in a Mel Brooks movie. I'm not sure how his body knows to breathe.

I saw Alex's "renaissance painting" tweet and the accompanying pic and one of the amazing artists in this community better make a painting of that.. This moment needs to be immortalized and taught to our children in schools and books long into the future. The future where Dan just somehow stumbles along through life and becomes the President and gets us all nuked with one of his comments.

What I want to know is.. what did he think game piracy was up until this point?

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#6 Edited by TheHT (15875 posts) -

Still processing this. I just... I can't.

Jeff's "no!" at the end is perfect.

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#7 Posted by Mike (17997 posts) -

There is a "Dan Ryckert just said" topic, but this is on a whole new level and probably deserves it's own thread.

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#8 Posted by Redhotchilimist (2973 posts) -

Dan, every day's a fun adventure with you

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#9 Posted by Zeik (5222 posts) -

I thought I had grown accustomed to Dan's dumb comments by now, but that one definitely caught me off guard.

I just...I just don't comprehend you sometimes Dan.

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#10 Posted by Bollard (8185 posts) -

@mike: I had heard he had said something particularly dumb but hadn't managed to find a clip yet, so very glad this exists on its own.

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#11 Edited by Cerberus3Dog (1029 posts) -

I don't buy it. Ryckert is doing a bit. He knows the verb pirate means to steal. Therefore, he has made the connection sometime in his life that pirates in the past used to steal. Checkmate.

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#12 Edited by matiaz_tapia (684 posts) -

"Straw Hat" Dan.

Probably my favourite E3 moment so far. I will treasure it ( and bury it after I'm dead.)

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#13 Posted by The_Nubster (4293 posts) -

@cerberus3dog: A lot of people understand what an incidence is and what a coincidence is, but don't get that those two words are intrinsically related. Native English speakers are taught words and sentence structure, not so much roots and meanings beyond very basic stuff. I can buy that "pirate" the noun and "pirate" the verb were two totally separate things in his head.

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#15 Posted by CupOfDoom (95 posts) -

@cerberus3dog: A lot of people understand what an incidence is and what a coincidence is, but don't get that those two words are intrinsically related. Native English speakers are taught words and sentence structure, not so much roots and meanings beyond very basic stuff. I can buy that "pirate" the noun and "pirate" the verb were two totally separate things in his head.

He then makes the connection about the root when he connects (digital) piracy with pirates Showing that it was the first time he made the connection between those two words.

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#16 Posted by ArbitraryWater (15749 posts) -

This is definitely a new Top 5 "Dan" moment. Even after experiencing him for something like 4 years, he still has the capacity to utterly baffle me. I know the man's interests are decidedly narrow and insular (Video Games, Wrestling, and Cool Guy Action Movies) but the fact that he never connected pirates to "stealing things" is something else.

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#17 Posted by Sweep (10609 posts) -

Pirates were actually nothing like how they're portrayed in popular culture, often eschewing alcohol and rape (and other behaviors we commonly associate with piracy) in favour of relatively clean living. However all sources agree that the fundamental basis of piracy is stealing shit.

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#18 Posted by MezZa (3052 posts) -

To be fair, depending on what pirate media he has exposed himself to the most and remembers, it is believable that someone could get the idea of a pirate being a Nathon Drake styled treasure hunter who sails the seas on swagger and rum. They'd have to completely ignore or be unaware of history and any media that depicts them more correctly, but hey, its Dan.

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#19 Edited by nutter (2307 posts) -

GodDanit...

I love how Dan seems like he was raised and educated by Looney Tunes.

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#20 Posted by forteexe21 (2034 posts) -

Oh man....i thought Dan was confused about something much deeper and not what pirates literally are.

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#21 Posted by Stephen_Von_Cloud (1687 posts) -

@frytup said:

I mean... Dan accidentally said something kinda true. There were pirates (in all but name) who were funded by governments.

This is what I thought when he said it too lol but he's Dan after all.

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#22 Posted by burncoat (559 posts) -

@cerberus3dog: I really wish this "Dan is doing a bit" stuff gets put to rest. We've had first hand accounts from Bianca, his wife, about how ignorant he is of a lot of common sense things. He says so himself on the latest Beastcast.

When Vinny is doing a bit it's extremely obvious and he can't make it last more than a few minutes. Dan starts to crack up when he recalls his own stories and when he's telling jokes. We've seen repeated times over and over that this is who the man is. To say he's not is to deny his true self and is honestly a disservice for him. He goofs and this time he goofed hard but he owns it (for the most part).

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#23 Posted by LandHawk (404 posts) -
No Caption Provided

Dan knows the score.

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#24 Posted by Vortextk (944 posts) -

This thread spoiled me, but it was ok, because finally getting the moment in question, IS AMAZING.

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#25 Posted by dgtlty (1243 posts) -

Unbelievable

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#26 Posted by Jellybones (331 posts) -

It always amazes me how little thought Dan has put in to so many subjects. He takes everything at face value and moves on.

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#27 Posted by Sanj (3258 posts) -

Guys, New Dan is an ongoing project.

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#28 Posted by Rejizzle (1137 posts) -

@frytup: Those guys have a name though! They're privateers!

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#29 Posted by BabyChooChoo (7093 posts) -

Dan's statement is funny enough on it's own, but that split second of silence as everyone tries to process what he just said and the looks on their faces might elevate this to one of my favorite Giant Bomb moments ever.

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#30 Edited by Seikenfreak (1541 posts) -

Yea, I like how some of them absorbed it faster than others. And Vinny just turns and is still thinking like.. Did he just..?

Honestly, I know Vinny tries to diffuse the situation by moving on, here and on podcasts, but I really wish they'd just rail the shit out of Dan for this sort of stuff. It is so funny hearing their frustrations and trying to puzzle it out.. how someone can make it this far in life without knowing certain things, and Dan usually gives some sort of rebuttal which just digs the grave even deeper.

He deserves to suffer for a few minutes for comments like this haha Him jabbing at Kingdom Hearts was another bit. I've never played those games and I don't really like them so I'm kind of like Dan.. but I'm not going to sit there and say this is absurdly stupid and none of it makes sense, particularly while people are trying to watch this thing, and then not long after, start cackling like a child about half a second of baby butt in Death Stranding (which he's already seen before in the other trailer!!!!!!) and acting like its amazing.

I just.. I get such a strong urge to slap him sometimes hahaha

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#31 Posted by IndeedCodyBrown (608 posts) -

Dan's levels of ignorance lately have been very... frustrating.

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#32 Posted by SpunkyHePanda (2228 posts) -

Hey, I'm genuinely glad Dan is willing to learn by asking questions.

But yeah, wow.

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#33 Posted by hassun (10032 posts) -

"I-I mean I get it."

- NO YOU DON'T!

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#34 Posted by AtheistPreacher (108 posts) -

Somehow this just gets funnier every time I watch it. Everything about this bit is perfect, GB hall of fame moment for sure.

Dan is truly a special kind of moron. At least he's a moron in an entertaining way.

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#35 Posted by Atlas (2739 posts) -

Man, sometimes I really hate Dan Ryckert.

I don't care if he's doing a bit or if he actually is that ignorant. Either way, it offends my soul.

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#36 Posted by TheHT (15875 posts) -
@sweep said:

Pirates were actually nothing like how they're portrayed in popular culture, often eschewing alcohol and rape (and other behaviors we commonly associate with piracy) in favour of relatively clean living. However all sources agree that the fundamental basis of piracy is stealing shit.

To be fair, I recall Bartholomew Roberts being the strictest pirate I'd ever heard of. There certainly weren't all so... unstereotypical with respect to their behaviour. Hell, doesn't the story go that Anne Bonny and Mary Read were the only ones repelling the attack that did them all in because Calico Jack and the rest of the men were all too drunk to manage a defense?

Besides, it's not like they all followed the same codes, nor that they'd all even necessarily follow them under every circumstances. Bart's rules maybe, cause again, that dude seemed like a real stictler who'd fuck up your shit prim and proper if you stepped an inch outta line. But even his rules didn't explicitly rule out rape; it just kinda made it so only one person got to "lie with her" instead, to protect her virtue of course.

They're not necessarily all brutes, but they surely weren't a disciplined and galant sort of criminal either.

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#37 Posted by BisonHero (11604 posts) -

@spunkyhepanda said:

Hey, I'm genuinely glad Dan is willing to learn by asking questions.

But yeah, wow.

I'm positive that there are 1 or 2 particular science/general knowledge questions that Dan has asked on the podcast, got an answer to, forgotten the answer, and then asked again 6 months later when a different email reminds him of the topic.

He's inquisitive and willing to learn something new, but I don't think he manages to retain any of it, so overall it seems his level of knowledge stays about the same (low) despite his willingness to ask questions.

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#38 Posted by Napstar (188 posts) -

Dan is someone who will blurt out a question, when in actuality he already knows the awnser. He knew what pirates were with a little thinking.

His mouth is just faster than his brain.

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#39 Posted by avantegardener (2381 posts) -

It's never a bit. He just verbalises his revelations in real time out loud, where another person might just think 'oh shit, I never made that connection'. His brain is divided into 4 parts: Brands, Wrestling, Video Games and Misc.

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#40 Edited by deckard (364 posts) -

@theoriginalatlas said:

Man, sometimes I really hate Dan Ryckert.

I don't care if he's doing a bit or if he actually is that ignorant. Either way, it offends my soul.

In the early days of his hiring Dan's ignorance would piss me off to no end. But then I realized a lot of his ignorance stems from his childhood, which is more the result of parenting (or lack thereof) than anything. I think he's being honest when he said he doesn't think about pirates that much - he probably doesn't think about pirates as an adult. And as a child it seems he didn't grow up in a household that really fostered learning, exploration, trying new experiences (i.e. all the food he has never had), etc. so he wasn't exposed to pirate knowledge there either.

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#41 Posted by Captain_Insano (3533 posts) -

I was prepared for this moment but it was far more entertaining than I anticipated.

I don't really get how moments or slips like this can really cause so much anger and hate, but whatever.

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#42 Edited by soulcake (2820 posts) -

Privateering is State Funded piracy, so Dan had a minor point but still yeah they steal shit. Privateers got booty and some state funds / a ship. Still does Dan use Bing or something? google is great for looking up stuff. Or maybe just bookmark Wikipedia all kinds of great stuff down there. And Dan probably thinks meat comes from the supermarket right ? And that it grows on meat trees right? I had this great video that demonstrates that meat grows on trees but's in dutch.

Do i get mad ? Not really just disappointed that the "greatest" country on earth, might have the shittys't education system, Keep on importing Professors from different countries.

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#43 Posted by hermes (2630 posts) -

Dan, the gift that keeps on giving...

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#44 Posted by mavs (389 posts) -

This is near-perfect comedy.

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#45 Edited by deactivated-5d1d502761653 (305 posts) -

I take Dan's lack of common knowledge over Alex's urge to sound smart and cynical as well as his constant reminders that we live in dystopian end times any day.

But that's just me.

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#46 Posted by galerian (162 posts) -

@kingbonesaw: If it was called Sea of Pirates, Dan wouldn't know what to do with the game. Crisis averted

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#47 Posted by fledeye (264 posts) -

@deckard said:
@theoriginalatlas said:

Man, sometimes I really hate Dan Ryckert.

I don't care if he's doing a bit or if he actually is that ignorant. Either way, it offends my soul.

In the early days of his hiring Dan's ignorance would piss me off to no end. But then I realized a lot of his ignorance stems from his childhood, which is more the result of parenting (or lack thereof) than anything. I think he's being honest when he said he doesn't think about pirates that much - he probably doesn't think about pirates as an adult. And as a child it seems he didn't grow up in a household that really fostered learning, exploration, trying new experiences (i.e. all the food he has never had), etc. so he wasn't exposed to pirate knowledge there either.

It’s also a problem with the education system. Every time Dan talks about his time at university, I wince.

I really wanted to go to uni, but for financial and family reasons, I couldn’t. So it upsets me when he talks about not doing any work, not going to classes etc. But it’s the system that allowed that behaviour and it meant that Dan didn’t get a full education and is now a man in his 30’s who doesn’t know what a pirate is.

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#48 Posted by timberbarrackk (37 posts) -

@fledeye: Yep. One person, already known for being quite ignorant of many topics, isn't right about something but yeah, it's the ENTIRE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM.

The amount of snowballing here based on one comment is crazy. God forbid Dan mentions something about not knowing how revolvers work otherwise we might start talking about US foreign policy.

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#49 Posted by Dudacles (1693 posts) -

Ben's immediate reaction, as he looks at Vinny for reassurance thatDan meant that shit he had just said, is now one of my favourite GB moments ever.

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#50 Posted by YoThatLimp (2511 posts) -

@hassun said:

"I-I mean I get it."

- NO YOU DON'T!

That might be my favorite Jeff moment ever, hah.