ConQuest Week 2! Complete Quests To Win Prizes!

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mattbodega

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Edited By mattbodega

Nice work on last week's ConQuest, everyone! It took less than three days for 2000 users to guess that Johnny V has his hands and hair in a pair of Disney games, that Innergy was totally a thing that happened, and that there were in awful lot of fitness games at this year's Electronic 3 Expo
 

 Sean Coonce touched this copy of Stoked. Who will touch it next?
 Sean Coonce touched this copy of Stoked. Who will touch it next?

== TEASER ==As far as I'm concerned, anyone who completed this quest was a winner. But who among you is the most winner? Who among you has the guts to be randomly selected by a cold, soulless machine algorithm written by Sean Coonce in about 20 minutes? I'll tell you who has the guts: these users, right here.
 
Winners of Rock Band 3 T--Shirts
  •  nugazer
  •  TheFreshmaker
  •  jediknight00719
 
Winner of Stoked: Big Air Edition, Signed By Sean Coonce
  • listerfeend
 
Congratulations, friends! You completed that quest harder than anyone. The algorithm knows what you've done.
 
And now, with a new week, we've got a new quest! We've got three different prizes this week, and they barely have anything to do with each other! Our giveaways are as tenuously linked as our segues!
 
And speaking of segways, let's glide towards our first prize! Remember Super Street Fighter IV? Pretty good game, right? Now... do you remember this video?
  

 
 
This was the Mailbag video where the Giant Bomb crew was sent a mysterious boxing glove holding a single rose in the mail from Capcom, effectively confirming that Dudley would be a playable character when Street Fighter got Super.  
 
Well, friends, that boxing glove can be yours. That's right! This single boxing glove--with no discernible markings hinting at its video game origin, and is, for all intents and purposes, a regular boxing glove--can be yours if you win the ConQuest! Those other folks won't know what it means... but you will! Also, we lost the rose.
 
No Caption Provided
Next, we switch accoutrement from boxing gloves to party masks with this sweet Bioshock 2 Splicer mask, straight from the fine folks at 2K games! Now, you too can choose whether you'll fight the parasites of Rapture or exploit them! There's nothing on the mask to keep it strapped to your face, but that's nothing scotch tape can't fix! Be careful though: this mask looks like it was taken off of a splicer in 1959, and smells like it's been underwater for 50 years too. So....smelly mask prize. Great.

And finally, why not wear your old mask and new glove and use it to punch a blow up dummy? Well, you can't, because you'll only be able to win one of these three prizes. But even without a boxing glove and a decrepit mask, you'll still be able to win this panda bear blow--up dummy, courtesy of Tekken 6 and Namco! Have you ever wanted to beat up a panda? Sure, we all have! Well, now you can beat up Panda, the panda from Tekken, from the comfort of your own home! Pretend you're Heihachi, giving Panda the panda the business!
 

 THIS IS A DUMMY. DO NOT USE AS FLOTATION DEVICE.
 THIS IS A DUMMY. DO NOT USE AS FLOTATION DEVICE.

One of these three amazing prizes could be yours if you're one of the first users to complete the latest quest set... and this week's set is extra special! You see, our latest quest set, Don't Get Moderated, was written and designed by our very own Giant Bomb moderation team! The men and women who work tirelessly to make sure our wiki is full of original, high quality content, and our forums are full of the right kind of assholes have created this sweet quest set for everyone on the site. 
 
To complete the ConQuest and enter to win prizes, you'll have to remember what games enraged the public, what games let you choose between one--color throw--ups or two--color throw--ups, and find out which games required you to use all of your fingers to complete. If you want to get started, check out the Manhunt 2 page!
 
You have until Friday, July 9th to enter, or until 2000 users bring the quest home. Contest submissions close at 3PM PST, so get your quest completed. And heck, if you liked the quest, send a PM Blast to them letting you know how you feel... or to beg them for hints when you've only have two games left to find in the scavenger hunt.
 
Now for the depressing part of any contest post: the legal rules. To be eligible to win these prizes, you must abide by the following conditions:  

  • You must be 18 years old or older to enter (though you can still complete the quest regardless).
  • You must be a resident of the United States. We know it isn't fair that Alaska counts as the U.S while Canada and Europe get short shrift. I mean.... especially for Canada and Alaska. They're right next to each other! I dunno. Blame your congressman.
  • No purchase is necessary to enter. If you send us a postcard with your name and address, that is totally a viable way to enter the contest!
 
And that's it for this weeks ConQuest! Congratulations to the winners of last week's ConQuest, and good luck to everyone competing this week! Just remember to bring a damp towel or gas mask with you into the wiki. It won't take long for the wiki to get a little... smoggy.
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mattbodega

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#1  Edited By mattbodega

Nice work on last week's ConQuest, everyone! It took less than three days for 2000 users to guess that Johnny V has his hands and hair in a pair of Disney games, that Innergy was totally a thing that happened, and that there were in awful lot of fitness games at this year's Electronic 3 Expo
 

 Sean Coonce touched this copy of Stoked. Who will touch it next?
 Sean Coonce touched this copy of Stoked. Who will touch it next?

== TEASER ==As far as I'm concerned, anyone who completed this quest was a winner. But who among you is the most winner? Who among you has the guts to be randomly selected by a cold, soulless machine algorithm written by Sean Coonce in about 20 minutes? I'll tell you who has the guts: these users, right here.
 
Winners of Rock Band 3 T--Shirts
  •  nugazer
  •  TheFreshmaker
  •  jediknight00719
 
Winner of Stoked: Big Air Edition, Signed By Sean Coonce
  • listerfeend
 
Congratulations, friends! You completed that quest harder than anyone. The algorithm knows what you've done.
 
And now, with a new week, we've got a new quest! We've got three different prizes this week, and they barely have anything to do with each other! Our giveaways are as tenuously linked as our segues!
 
And speaking of segways, let's glide towards our first prize! Remember Super Street Fighter IV? Pretty good game, right? Now... do you remember this video?
  

Loading Video...
 
 
This was the Mailbag video where the Giant Bomb crew was sent a mysterious boxing glove holding a single rose in the mail from Capcom, effectively confirming that Dudley would be a playable character when Street Fighter got Super.  
 
Well, friends, that boxing glove can be yours. That's right! This single boxing glove--with no discernible markings hinting at its video game origin, and is, for all intents and purposes, a regular boxing glove--can be yours if you win the ConQuest! Those other folks won't know what it means... but you will! Also, we lost the rose.
 
No Caption Provided
Next, we switch accoutrement from boxing gloves to party masks with this sweet Bioshock 2 Splicer mask, straight from the fine folks at 2K games! Now, you too can choose whether you'll fight the parasites of Rapture or exploit them! There's nothing on the mask to keep it strapped to your face, but that's nothing scotch tape can't fix! Be careful though: this mask looks like it was taken off of a splicer in 1959, and smells like it's been underwater for 50 years too. So....smelly mask prize. Great.

And finally, why not wear your old mask and new glove and use it to punch a blow up dummy? Well, you can't, because you'll only be able to win one of these three prizes. But even without a boxing glove and a decrepit mask, you'll still be able to win this panda bear blow--up dummy, courtesy of Tekken 6 and Namco! Have you ever wanted to beat up a panda? Sure, we all have! Well, now you can beat up Panda, the panda from Tekken, from the comfort of your own home! Pretend you're Heihachi, giving Panda the panda the business!
 

 THIS IS A DUMMY. DO NOT USE AS FLOTATION DEVICE.
 THIS IS A DUMMY. DO NOT USE AS FLOTATION DEVICE.

One of these three amazing prizes could be yours if you're one of the first users to complete the latest quest set... and this week's set is extra special! You see, our latest quest set, Don't Get Moderated, was written and designed by our very own Giant Bomb moderation team! The men and women who work tirelessly to make sure our wiki is full of original, high quality content, and our forums are full of the right kind of assholes have created this sweet quest set for everyone on the site. 
 
To complete the ConQuest and enter to win prizes, you'll have to remember what games enraged the public, what games let you choose between one--color throw--ups or two--color throw--ups, and find out which games required you to use all of your fingers to complete. If you want to get started, check out the Manhunt 2 page!
 
You have until Friday, July 9th to enter, or until 2000 users bring the quest home. Contest submissions close at 3PM PST, so get your quest completed. And heck, if you liked the quest, send a PM Blast to them letting you know how you feel... or to beg them for hints when you've only have two games left to find in the scavenger hunt.
 
Now for the depressing part of any contest post: the legal rules. To be eligible to win these prizes, you must abide by the following conditions:  

  • You must be 18 years old or older to enter (though you can still complete the quest regardless).
  • You must be a resident of the United States. We know it isn't fair that Alaska counts as the U.S while Canada and Europe get short shrift. I mean.... especially for Canada and Alaska. They're right next to each other! I dunno. Blame your congressman.
  • No purchase is necessary to enter. If you send us a postcard with your name and address, that is totally a viable way to enter the contest!
 
And that's it for this weeks ConQuest! Congratulations to the winners of last week's ConQuest, and good luck to everyone competing this week! Just remember to bring a damp towel or gas mask with you into the wiki. It won't take long for the wiki to get a little... smoggy.
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ArrenDusk

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#2  Edited By ArrenDusk

Too bad I'm not in the US :\

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The_Patriarch

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#3  Edited By The_Patriarch

Still bummed europeans cant enter. :(

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LimblessPoet

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#4  Edited By LimblessPoet

Same here. :(

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Muttinus_Rump

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#5  Edited By Muttinus_Rump
@LimblessPoet said:
" Same here. :( "
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LimblessPoet

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#6  Edited By LimblessPoet

So far it's only Europe in the house.

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Mrnitropb

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#7  Edited By Mrnitropb

Sweeeeet

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CrimsonJester

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#8  Edited By CrimsonJester

splicer mask... want

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LimblessPoet

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#9  Edited By LimblessPoet

Well at least for another 10 minutes. :P

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Milkman

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#10  Edited By Milkman

The beginning of the post says four prizes but I only see three.

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DanielJW

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#11  Edited By DanielJW

Canada. :(

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ImmortalSaiyan

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#12  Edited By ImmortalSaiyan

Some neat prizes this week, to bad i'm canadian.

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coonce

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#13  Edited By coonce

i kinda want that boxing glove .... i'm on it.

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XenoNick

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#14  Edited By XenoNick

Still sucks that i live in the UK. DAMN YOUUUUUUUUU!

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JJBSterling

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#15  Edited By JJBSterling

Oh my god I want that splicer mask, DAMN YOU CANADA.

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FateOfNever

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#16  Edited By FateOfNever

Aw, no rose?  That's a shame. 

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scottygrayskull

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#17  Edited By scottygrayskull

Damn, nice prizes. Good luck to you all who are eligible and enter. :)

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AllanIceman

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#18  Edited By AllanIceman

Canada, but will quest for XP!

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sander_dutch

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#19  Edited By sander_dutch

Funny how everyone posts how they can't enter the competition. Just like me. Perhaps Giantbomb should give their congressman the finger and organize an international contest.

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KimParnage

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#20  Edited By KimParnage

Bring prizes to Europe..!! :(

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Mysterion

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#21  Edited By Mysterion

I live less than a kilometer from the US border but I'm still illegible for the contest :[

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Lukeweizer

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#22  Edited By Lukeweizer

I don't even feel motivated to do it now. Those are some wicked prizes too.

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Light_Bahamut

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#23  Edited By Light_Bahamut

As may have been noted already, the word you were trying to use is "segue", not "Segway". Easy mistake to make, considering that spelling that word s-e-g-u-e makes no goddamn sense, but there it is.

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Red

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#24  Edited By Red

I really love these ridiculously terrible prizes.

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zitosilva

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#25  Edited By zitosilva

Tsc, I can't participate. This also makes me feel bad about doing the quest, because I'd be taking away a chance from someone that can actually receive the prize.

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crusader8463

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#26  Edited By crusader8463

It still pisses me the fuck off that they won't open this thing to anyone but god dam Yankee's when I have won prizes on other whiskey sites and had them shipped to me here in Canada.

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ZombiePie

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#27  Edited By ZombiePie  Staff

....or to beg them for hints when you've only have two games left to find in the scavenger hunt

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... This thread is so much better when it comes to hints for the quest set.
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FireSketch

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#28  Edited By FireSketch

Just out of interest, do you think you'll ever start shipping to Europe or Canada?
I understand your reasons, though. :)

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deactivated-5bd0bd88428e3

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No eurolove :(

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Drebin_893

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#30  Edited By Drebin_893

This was probably the funniest article ever written.

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Scooper

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#31  Edited By Scooper

I really want that Dudley glove. I love Street Fighter but as I live in the UK I am exempt for being in the contest. Great.

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Victor018

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#32  Edited By Victor018

Does Puerto Rico count?

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IshimuraD

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#33  Edited By IshimuraD

Bah, I was so excited for this week's ConQuest after missing last weeks. I got started and everything already, only to read this and realize I'm boned cause I'm in Canada. DAMN YOU THE CONCEPT OF COUNTRIES

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MeatSim

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#34  Edited By MeatSim

I might want that boxing glove.

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rahulricky

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#35  Edited By rahulricky

aw man, wish I had a congressman to bitch to, i feel like an impotent englishman. 

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Damien

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#36  Edited By Damien

Has anyone actually sent in a SASE?

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fuzzy510

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#37  Edited By fuzzy510

Did nobody else notice that July 10th is not a Friday?

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deactivated-5a1d45de5ef23

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seriously this thing with only the US users can enter is bullshit. A large persentage of the GB users are not americans, and the whole "well its expensive to ship to canada/europe" is bullshit. Just make it an option for us to pay for the shipping. For instance, if i win, if i wanted the prize, i would have to pay for the shipping. Thats it. If i dont, i wont get the prize.
 
everybody wins. instead of this nonsense.
 
 
also Matt kessler sucks

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sjschmidt93

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#39  Edited By sjschmidt93

Well, I kind of already own a set of Everlast boxing gloves.

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ApolloJ85

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#40  Edited By ApolloJ85

That article was kinda exhausting to read, it had way too much enthusiasm for the time of day at which I read it. 
 
I would also like to add that Australia and NZ get short shrift too. It isn't fair that we get excluded from the ConQuest and don't even get mentioned alongside Canada and Europe. It's like being slapped in the face twice. Once for ineligibility, twice for irrelevance. 

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Ho_Blivion

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#41  Edited By Ho_Blivion

I was really starting to get into this quest set. Nothing kills that excitement more than the site running like crap. Maybe that's part of the whole point of these quests to begin with (load test). Maybe will try them again during off hours.
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s10129107

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#42  Edited By s10129107

it'd be more special signed by the giant bomb staff

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lightsoda

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#43  Edited By lightsoda

WHY do you have to be a US resident? B.S.

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MjHealy

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#44  Edited By MjHealy

Well I've finished it and I'm in Europe.
 
Ha! Take that shit, Kessler!

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hockeymask27

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#45  Edited By hockeymask27

Well even though i'm Canadian still did it.

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Kevitte

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#46  Edited By Kevitte

Man, here was me excited about a new quest set/competition. :\ In UK, damn. 
 
It'd be good if you could just do the quest and opt out of being entered into the competition.

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Gnome

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#47  Edited By Gnome
@Jethuty said:
" seriously this thing with only the US users can enter is bullshit. A large persentage of the GB users are not americans, and the whole "well its expensive to ship to canada/europe" is bullshit. Just make it an option for us to pay for the shipping. For instance, if i win, if i wanted the prize, i would have to pay for the shipping. Thats it. If i dont, i wont get the prize.  everybody wins. instead of this nonsense.   also Matt kessler sucks "
I'd have to imagine its due to a reason out of the GB staff's hands, as with the age restriction.
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CharlesAlanRatliff

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@Jethuty said:
" seriously this thing with only the US users can enter is bullshit. A large persentage of the GB users are not americans, and the whole "well its expensive to ship to canada/europe" is bullshit. Just make it an option for us to pay for the shipping. For instance, if i win, if i wanted the prize, i would have to pay for the shipping. Thats it. If i dont, i wont get the prize.  everybody wins. instead of this nonsense.   also Matt kessler sucks "
It has nothing to do with shipping costs, moron. It has to do with legal issues they have zero control over.
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fisher81

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#49  Edited By fisher81

Am I auto-entered since I completed the set?

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ghostNPC

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#50  Edited By ghostNPC

How come Screened can ship prizes to Canada but GiantBomb can't?