2020 has been a mostly bullish year for me, all things considered. As of now, my immediate love ones remain healthy. I overcorrected post-quarantine in doing things in service of me and the direction I want to go with my life and the stagflation that was me before this all started would have been in a pretty mediocre place spiritually and intellectually if none of this happened. Was it so hard to put pen to paper and write game reviews? Was I so cheap to not spend 0.07% of my annual income on a Giantbomb membership (sale price of course) in the years that led up to this? Was I really going to tolerate my boss for another 4,800 hours because that's how much longer I needed to get my Professional Engineers license (not including the 24 hour text and phone access that is a given in the modern employment contract) just so I could guarantee that I hovered right above the median salary so I would know that I was better than half the people in the world I came in contact with? Lots of what ifs. I'm ready to close the book on 2020. I'm ready to close the book on gaming, well new games.
I quit Reddit and Facebook like the plague. I recognize the cancer that those things would bring very early and I enjoyed them as they started to enjoy them as an early adopter. As our parents started to come online and needed tech support it was time to let it go. That's where I find myself with gaming.
In writing my pending review for Hitman 1 and someone's post on here about the 2020 games they beat. I only beat Last of Us 2. That would be a first in all my years of gaming. It's as if I just did not want to want to tolerate any of the B.S. (much like things in my real life) that are part an parcel of gaming in 2020. I spent more time in eras before all the crap. I booted up and played every one of my PSX classic and if that system would have just not cheaped out and given us a dualshock and Ape Escape I might have beaten every game on that system. I can't completely foresake games because of how much I enjoy writing reviews. We all live on the internet and I chose not to live in group photos of bleary eyed people taking libations, posting pics of food, commenting on the days events, stealing concepts or ideas (like that famous Dead Cells review) and repurposing to maybe get one more dime from Twitch, or swiping left and right and see where the day takes me. I like writing reviews. I like coming back to the trash i spout and getting down to what i really meant, and thusly what something meant to me. The greatest thing about quitting my job is repurposing all of those job skills to my own life. I am my own client and it feels great. Gaming in 2021 and beyond does not feel great.
So as I talk myself into quitting cold turkey, or moderation, or doubling down I look at my digital library and see the value of replaying games more than ever. The reflection of 2020 that I wanted from Last of Us 2 never materialized. I've tied up so many loose ends in my life and reconciled and rejected all the right and wrong people. I'm not sure what I used games for before. I have completely rejected multiplayer. Though I think everybody having a mic with kinect is/was game changing it had the same watermarks of foreboding that Facebook and Reddit did before. Since I can't build a time machine for those things I stay away but I can build a time machine for gaming I can just not engage post-2020 releases. New consoles and lack of availability helps make that easier.
The long lead time to the launch of Cyberpunk 2077 has really exposed my habits in game consumption. My review writing has shown me that new games are not the draw that I made them out to be. I've listened to this year's podcast and i absolutely have not been intrigued by new releases. I guess this is the first year that instead of just having a backlog I absolutely have managed it. And tackling game after game and doing what I said I was going to do makes it easier to line up the next 7 or 8 games instead of slotting in new releases to the top. I think i can do better I think i can slot in only games of the 100s that I own. I can just stand back and watch the industry be, with out me starting in 2021