Giant Bomb and me

Along with everyone else going through the pain of 3 original members leaving it made me want to write a bit since I didn’t know what to do with these emotions. Seeing change and seeing all that has happened and is happening even when we are stuck or limited in action. This news made me examine myself and what I’ve accomplished as well as plans I’ve yet to, knowing whatever I would do the influence from Giant Bomb would be there.

This hit me at a time when I was at my worst low in my health. I was in and out of ERs for a month and still on writing on this I’m not 100%. So when this news hit me it consumed me and kicked me while I was already down. Bouncing from doctor’s appts. To pharmacies all while being in a toxic house and away from my wife. Made the perfect storm to hear the news and for some reason it was the last straw. Breaking down all while still trying to come back on my own health issues this hit me and I didn’t have anyone in person to share this with.

GB was the show(s), Podcasts and clips I would always put on after a long day. Along with Waypoint this family was what kept me company when I felt alone, needed to de-stress, unwind or just wanted to laugh. This relationship I had with the great personalities over the years was one as close as any friend if not more so. Filling my head with quotables for daily life, jokes to laugh at with myself and even something to share with my little brother.

It is personal yet something I share with everyone. I came to the site around 2016-17 with Waypoint, and fell in love. Jeff Gertsmann I immediately connected with from love of Hip Hop to perspectives as well as loving Vinny‘s pure kind yet chaotic self and the rest. Picking up pieces of shared interests a member would say off hand or for a joke knowing me and Vinny read a Hero with a thousands faces or how Ben and Jan came up in Toonami like me or catching every Hip Hop reference Jeff makes or how Austin’s political stance lines up with mine, etc. Forming a connection with each one only deepens with time and accessibility to them with things like social media and podcasts. That creates something I don’t know any generation pre internet could experience but also that could be my 90’s baby ignorance. Either way it’s something special yet so tormenting of a sad feeling that you’re losing someone or thing you never actually grasped.

I knew I found something I could relate and get back into gaming at a time when I just changed career paths from doing one where I knew if I continued I’d hate every day going into work. Fresh into committing to my passion of music and having some time off I took time to get back into something I hadn’t had time for. A self care of video games GB and Waypoint curated to just set sail. Meeting my wife, getting my music degree, being happy all whilst having GB playing in the background or on TV as I worked on my art.

It’s amazing how much a person can impact you when you never met them and may never will. I’ve felt this before with music artists but this was something so unique even among friends knowing I blew up their timeline with something they were alien to. So with this news looking at the great past and a future of GB I just can only stay on the ship Jeff is sailing and cry thinking back on all the memories and even many In the back log I’ve yet to see. I am happy to see them happy yet know this hit me to the point I can't stop binging GB East content.

Hate I wasn’t on GB sooner, that I never attended a live event, never saw a live PAX but also it isn't over. It is still here and much like everyone in 2020 I had all the time to binge shows. I appreciate being apart of this community full of fun and love. This appreciation goes to every individual member to all those in the orbit and echoing this to other related groups like Waypoint.

Much like how I feel with music artists that influenced me, I would love to meet any of the staff one day to simply say thank you; Thank you for keeping a brown kid you never met before company when he needed it most. God Bless

o7 <>

Just thoughts, sorry didn't edit much just got it out

Sometimes the first draft is the best draft!

@rorie: Thanks Rorie <3

@burritocreases <>

This site has always served as a sense of comfort during some dark times in my life. Brad always had a calming voice coupled with very measured opinions in games. He also was able to sometime balance out Jeff’s opinions which I appreciated.

Alex was a rebel who loved ska so I identified with that. He discussed struggling with Mental illness at a time when it wasn’t widely discussed which resonated with me and comforted me.

Vinny brought levity to the crew and always knew how to bring it on each and every podcast. All three have brought something special into the fold. I am truly grateful to them for their work at the site and I wish them all the best. While selfishly I wish I wouldn’t have to write this post, I hope they know how much they meant to this community. For the better part of seven years I considered them distant friends that always checked in twice a week.

During the pandemic, they shined a light on not only the global crisis but also the Injustices that were taking place in our very own country. I felt their commentary was always heartfelt and never contrived. I appreciated their candor.

I just hope that this will not be the last we hear from Alex, Brad, and Vinny because they were more than games critics, journalists, and entertainers. They were friends, mentors, experts, novices, psychologists, and patients. They were us and we were them.

Thank you Brad, Alex and Vinny. I will always be a fan and friend and I wish you all the best in your next adventure. See you next game. <>

@burritocreases said:

Definitely. Much like you there are few people that know how much I have gotten out of GB over the years, not just entertainment but personal development and company. During the first year after my divorce (I asked for it, but despite being the one deciding it was time for us to part ways, I felt like the biggest asshole for hurting someone that much), I lost a TON of weight due to stress, anxiety and bad sleep. By the time my ex wife had moved out, I was alone in a big apartment just living in my own anxiety and depression. During that time Giant Bomb, specifically UPF, was a real saving grace. Every friday I came home from work it felt like I came home to a group of friends to hang out with. Not to say I didn't have real world friends, but we're all adults with busy lives. GB kept me afloat in a way few things did during that time.

In fact, I had a conversation with my ex the other day (we're good friends still) and told her about Brad, Vinny and Alex leaving and the first thing she said was "I'm so sorry to hear that, I know those guys mean a lot to you."

I don't think I could ever put into words exactly what GB has meant to me over the years, yet saying that feels weird as it's such a one way relationship all in my own head. Not that GB itself is going away, but I would be lying if I say it didn't feel like a big part of what made GB what it is has gone away now. But that's also life, things change and we change with it.

I quite appreciate your words on this and your story, as someone that has been following these guys for nearly 20 years at this point it's all a bunch of feelings I don't entirely know how to put into words. Which is probably why they are all over the place. And who knows, maybe they'll all be around but somewhere else. And if they're not, that's ok too. It's their life to live how they want and I hope they're all going to live their best lives.

Ok, I am rambling at this point. Didn't mean to wallow in my own stuff on your blog.

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@pezen: Thank you for sharing and no worries I appreciate the words on the blog. My partner also said the same to me when I told her about the news, knowing how it affects us I appreciate how people around us know this meant a lot. I agree GB is and was that group of friends to come home to especially when our personal friends are living their life. Know we are all going through it together and in our own ways but know we aren't alone. I agree I am happy for them but still stings, just especially in these days losing anything that built comfort is daunting. Thank you again for your words <>

@finnegans_wake: Thank you and I appreciate the well stated descriptions of each of them, you're right especially after all the years together they really played well and off another. That sense of community and friendship can't be faked only thrived after the years. I also really appreciate them speaking their truth politically and socially especially in this last year. I agree they are us and we are them, well put.