How on god's green earth do you write a game guide without using the word "you"?

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NNPLLC

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#1  Edited By NNPLLC

This is what I wrote, it was rejected because I wrote "in second person" and used the word "you".

I have searched this entire site for game guides for references on how to write one without using the word "you" or writing in second person.

I can't find any game guides on this site.

Does this site just not approve of game guides?

Or is it because it's so difficult to write a guide without using the word "you" that nobody gets theirs approved?

Either way, I don't care, I just want to get a guide up for Baby Eater ( https://www.giantbomb.com/baby-eater/3030-76560/ ). If someone can fix this and or submit it, that'd be great, or I'll submit it, I don't care, just want to get it approved:

Secret Level Select Menu

Press Up - Down - Left - Right on the title screen, then when you hear the ding and see the copyright change color, go to the second page of the title screen (the deposit coin page) and press down until you highlight the copyright. This brings you to a secret sound test and level select menu. There you can practice to beat level 256.

Secret Message

Spam a button several times after you die, and you will receive one of a half dozen messages from a vampire baby.

Special Stages

Every few levels you get to enter a special stage. The goal is to touch a baby when uncloaked, and to avoid touching vampire babies by cloaking. This requires some fast button work and control. Get enough bonus points to score lives and continues.

Playing Tips

  • Keep your cloak on at all times.
  • Press the button to reveal your cloak just long enough to catch a baby in your basket.
  • Cloak can protect from damaging attacks and some power downs, but be careful if you are thirsty for blood, you do not want to lose babies to the evil curse.
  • Anticipate when you can turn babies in.
  • Turn in a full basket of babies for bonus baby rescue points.
  • The basket will break if you catch a rock.
  • Items like pacifiers fill the basket up, thus making less room for falling babies.
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nutter

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That’s not uncommon in writing, presentations, etc. It’s not a hard rule, but it’s a common best practice and learning to avoid addressing the reader directly is good habit.

Shooting from the hip (first draft, brain-dump), you could go for something like:

Press Up - Down - Left - Right on the title screen, then when a ding sounds and the copyright changes color, go to the second page of the title screen (the deposit coin page) and press down until copyright is highlighted. This launches a secret sound test and level select menu. This allows for practice to beat level 256.

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NNPLLC

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@nutter- unfortunately, I just went back to look at the rejection and what you wrote is still "second person" narrative, which is what I was told I was not allowed to do. Apparently, it's not just the word "you", it's the fact my guide was refused because it was written in second person. It's literally beyond me that "second person narrative" is prohibited in a game guide.

So I guess my question is "How do I write a game guide that is NOT in second person narrative". Honestly, at this point, I don't know how to continue.

I say that because I've also tried to correct the VERY IMAGE I uploaded to the site, while also adding New images to the Wiki Page I physically created, and all of the images were approved only for my personal gallery none for the wiki entry, while the wrong image is the main image for the game, I can't get any of the new ones up on the wiki page.

I just want to fix the entry that I created. I just want the entry to look nice.

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TheRealTurk

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As a quick-and-dirty fix, replace "you" with "players" and then fix the verbs as necessary. For example:

Secret Message - If players spam a button several times after death, they receive a message from a vampire baby.

Special Stages - Every few levels, players enter a special stage where they must touch babies while uncloaked while avoiding vampire babies by cloaking themselves. Players that score enough bonus points earn additional lives and continues.

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TheHT

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Spam a button several times after you die, and you will receive one of a half dozen messages from a vampire baby.

Spamming a button several times after death will give one of a half dozen messages from a vampire baby.

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NNPLLC

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#6  Edited By NNPLLC

All of that is still Second Person Perspective.

You know what, I'm starting to suspect the moderator doesn't know the definition for second person perspective... maybe he just meant don't use the pronoun you, but second person perspective is more than just the word you.

Ok so, anyone with 1,000 points want a quick and easy job of updating the wiki page for a quick 5 bucks or so plus a few free codes for the game? Just want to change a couple of things and will gladly give you access to images and what not.

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Rahf

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@nnpllc: second person perspective isn't the issue, as you say. The issue here is that they want you to not address another person directly. All solutions provided allow for this, and you need to make these smaller alterations first before being locked in analysis paralysis.

The best thing to do is to describe what must be done, and what will happen. You're writing a memo to yourself, that you could go back to and unmistakably understand precisely what needs to be done and what will or should happen when that is finished.

Example, using the first draft @nutter provided:

"Press Up - Down - Left - Right on the title screen. A ding sounds. The copyright should now change color.

Navigate to the second page of the title screen (the deposit coin page) and press down until copyright is highlighted. This launches a secret sound test and level select menu, allowing for practice to beat level 256.

---

Now, is this whole thread just a hidden advert for that gross-sounding game you're talking about?

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I used a game guide from this site not too long ago for Fear Effect Sedna (it was £2, dont judge me) but that also uses 'you' a lot so I dont know what to tell you. Seems like a needless rule to enforce. The guide was fine.

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NNPLLC

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#9  Edited By NNPLLC

@rahf: I checked the official link I was given in another message. There is no rule against using the word "you". Not only that there is no rule against "second person perspective", so I have no friggin clue what's going on.

Here's a screen cap:

No Caption Provided

In addition to that restriction there were a couple other issues I experienced in an attempt to update the page, such as my uploaded images appearing in my album instead of on the game page, I don't know if I'm being moderated without being informed or if I'm having some technical problems, which is why I'm happy to pay someone to do it who has 1,000 points or more, just so I can get the entry properly formatted.

Also, please keep your unfounded attacks to yourself, I'm just trying to get something fixed here. If I wanted to advertise a game I'd do it elsewhere. This is the only game catalog site where I've had issues like this.

@boozak: I know. So I have no idea wtf is going on here. Apparently rules are being applied to me which do not exist, let alone are not applied to everyone.

edit: Ok I just saw another submission that was rejected, yeah definitely a coding error on my end with trying to fix the HTML. However, the images I keep trying to submit for the game gallery are NOT appearing properly, and I need to fix the header image and the main game image.

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Marino

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#10 Marino  Staff  Online

From the Wiki Rules:

What We Deny:

"Content that's not written in third-person: All submissions should be written in neutral third-person."

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NNPLLC

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#11  Edited By NNPLLC
@marino said:

From the Wiki Rules:

What We Deny:

"Content that's not written in third-person: All submissions should be written in neutral third-person."

Ah, I was confused, because that appears to be a rule for description section not a game guide section.

I hate to point this out to you, but nobody is following that restriction for other posted game guides, such as this one shared earlier, and every single game guide I've found on this site follows SECOND PERSON narrative like this: https://www.giantbomb.com/fear-effect-sedna/3030-53735/guide/

That is NOT third person. That is Second Person.

https://www.differencebetween.com/difference-between-first-person-and-vs-second-person-and-vs-third-person-in-english-grammar/

As I said before, I've been an editor for quite some time, this is the difference between Third and Second person as far as a GAME GUIDE goes.

This is the above linked guide written in Second Person:

The first puzzle is a bomb that you have to defuse. You can see there are three symbols, each have a specific color and three wires are attached to them. The wires have a small line on them, that’s their number. Also, a light is beeping from one color to the other in a cycling way.

This would be that very same guide written in Third Person:

The first puzzle was a bomb that (s)he/it has to defuse. (s)he/it saw there were three symbols, each had a specific color and three wires were attached to them. The wires had a small line on them, that’s their number. Also, a light was beeping from one color to the other in a cycling way.

^^ THAT is Neutral Third Person, and sounds pretty strange for a game guide, wouldn't you agree?

Just so you understand, Second Person is an instruction.

If I say "Press Button A, B and C to access the Start Menu" that is an INSTRUCTION and it is Second Person. It is NOT Third Person. For me to make it THIRD person I have to employ a neutral pronoun identifying He, She or It, and it typically has to be in past tense, otherwise it becomes Second Person Instruction format. That's why all the guides I find on your site are Second Person, and use the word you.

As far as game descriptions go, there is non-instruction narrative which would be third when describing the game as the pronoun of it, or the heroes/heroines of the game with their respective pronouns.

So if you REALLY want me to write it in third person, I will, but it'll sound really freaking weird. I could remove the word you, but that doesn't make it any less Second Person or an Instruction to the reader on how to play the game, plus it would mean I'm being specifically restricted over other games which do have guides that use the word you.

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NNPLLC

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#12  Edited By NNPLLC

Ok so I am a little ashamed on how confrontive my previous post sounded, I was in a rush, and didn't check my perceived tone. I'm trying to resolve confusion not cause a conflict, so I am very sorry if I sound confrontational.

I now believe what is intended in the wiki is a neutral second person with "an assumed (non-declarative) you", and I will write a guide based off that understanding :)

<3 love to you guys, love the site, no hate intended.

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#13  Edited By stalefishies

I think you're taking things way too literally. Just get rid of 'you', either using the imperative, the passive voice, or just restructuring the sentence.

I'm not sure what your objections are to this example from earlier:

Spamming a button several times after death will give one of a half dozen messages from a vampire baby.

Everything in italics is the object of the sentence; replacing it with a pronoun makes it clear we're in the third person:

It will give one of a half dozen messages from a vampire baby.

'It' is definitely in the third person, so I don't see the problem. This is the same for the example where 'you' was replaced with 'players'. As for objecting to the imperative, you could argue the imperative mood isn't really in any grammatical perspective:

I am good at the game.

You are good at the game.

He/she is good at the game.

Be good at the game.

By replacing am/are/is with the infinitive form of the verb, be, we're taking the person completely out of it. OK that's a bit tenuous: we could add 'you should' to make 'you should be good at the game' without changing the meaning, so if it's in any perspective it's in the second person. But I think most people would agree this exception is fine as it it's only second person in this indirect manner.

TL;DR they just want you to get rid of 'you'. (Or perhaps I should say they just want 'you' to be gotten rid of, or get rid of 'you'.)

EDIT - Hah, should have refreshed the page before posting - referring to the imperative as a 'neutral second person' is a good way of putting it.