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#1 Edited by chesme (18 posts) -

I want to celebrate GB, GOTY, and the spirit of the season by randomly gifting 2 separate GB year subscriptions. Eligible to any community member that isn't currently a gold (year) subscriber.

Just reply with your answer to this scenario:

Oh no, someone in the GB House ate Santa's cookies! Who do you think did it and why?

Edit: I love reading all of these responses; thank you! But if you are shy or can't think of what to write a simple variation of "[Person of your choice] ate them because cookies!" is great too. And if you are worried about repeats, just remember, a friend-of-the-site might've visited for the holidays, so the suspects could expand.

2 winners will be selected via random number generator on Christmas Day (December 25) at 3 p.m. Central Standard Time (CST). Anyone can reply, but only non-gold members will be considered for the draw. Details to be worked out through DM with winners.

Background for the curious:

I had a months-long ordeal trying to get my Explosive Content shirt preorders fulfilled. It was frustrating, but Rorie worked his customer service magic in the end and made everything better. I wanted to show my gratitude for that and all the great GB content I have enjoyed over the years. Unfortunately, there's no virtual tip jar to fill, but buying premium subscriptions might be just as good. Trouble is, I already have a steady substitution and don't know anyone who would want a gift subscription. So, why not reach out to the community that enjoys GB as much as I do?

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#2 Posted by cubidog (96 posts) -

Thanks for being super generous dude! Maybe someday when I'm in a better situation I'll do the same

Anyways, I fully suspect Brad would eat them, and then blame Dan because everybody would believe that in a heartbeat lol

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#3 Posted by Onemanarmyy (4309 posts) -

Jeff ate the cookies because he fears the other folk would make way more of a mess. Spreading the crumbs all over the place, getting it in the grooves of controllers & PC's, a nightmare.

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#4 Posted by Relkin (1163 posts) -

Dan eats all the cookies and then profusely denies having done so until someone proves that he did, at which point he owns up to it and tries to downplay the whole situation. Somehow, he gets out of the whole mess without suffering from any sort of repercussions and is free to do it again in the future.

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#5 Posted by FrodoBaggins (2047 posts) -

Dan ate them because he was hungry.

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#6 Posted by gunflame88 (382 posts) -

There was a story in one of the old Game Informer Super Replays about how Dan ate too many sweets at the office (that were meant for other people too). He even felt physically ill from it, went to the doctor, and was basically told to stop or he would die. So, Dan.

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#7 Posted by Porkellain (267 posts) -

Dan because Dan

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#8 Edited by Shiftygism (932 posts) -

The person that left the toenail by the desktop, that's who!

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#9 Posted by Forrester90 (989 posts) -

Dan ate the cookies because he saw tasty looking cookies sitting out and tried them without a second thought.

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#10 Posted by NPCDi (583 posts) -

Vinny because he was left alone with them

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#11 Posted by 49th (3895 posts) -

Jeff ate the cookies. In many ways Jeff is the Santa Claus of video game coverage and everyone in the office agreed Jeff should have them because their content is a gift to all gamers across the world.

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#12 Edited by liquiddragon (3321 posts) -

It was probably drunk Brad. I'm reminded of Patrick's Brad story in the 10 year anniversary podcast about him taking away the karaoke mic out of Patrick's hands to show him what a real singer sounds like. Drunk Brad is out of control and mean!! Brad totally ate the cookies and trashed whoever baked them for their quality!

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#13 Posted by Cloudleet (206 posts) -

It wasn't just one! In an insane plottwist, Abby and Dan snuck down to the kitchen late at night to get the cookies. They distracted the ever vigilant Papa Vinny with some coins, and straight up just walked in, took the cookies and ran.

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#14 Posted by personandstuff (644 posts) -

I love gigabytes.

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#16 Edited by OceanRipple (49 posts) -

@chesme said:

Just reply with your answer to this scenario:

Oh no, someone in the GB House ate Santa's cookies! Who do you think did it and why?

I'd probably go with Vinny as the most likely suspect, think he is probably the one with the biggest sweet-tooth on the crew and judging by his previous food stories I wouldn't put it past him to just indulge in a late night full jar of cookies...

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#17 Edited by Rahf (493 posts) -

Thanks a lot for offering this out @chesme

Here's my response:

The prime suspects are Jeff Gerstmann and Patrick Klepek. I posit this evidence in the form of the Giant Bombcast 04-19-2011 (time stamp: 00:00 to approx: 02:00) when the latter was officially announced as a new member of the Giant Bomb crew. In this episode they are introducing "Grandma's Homestyle Chocolate Chip Cookies," henceforth known as "Santa's Damn Favorite, Son!". In the Bombcast episode following, 04-26-2011, Jeff is suspiciously absent from the episode. It has been verified through none-of-your-damn-business that this time was spent digesting the aforementioned SDFS.

The cookies' absence was officially confirmed on the beginning of Bombcast episode 05-03-2011 by Patrick Klepek. Jeff Gerstmann was immediately pointed out as the main culprit, himself confirming that hitherto the ingestion was an oversight.

So there. Documented proof!

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#18 Edited by Gnome (153 posts) -

Jeff did it because Santa has had it too good for too long

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#19 Posted by MetalBaofu (1705 posts) -

Luchadeer. Because he's a deer, and doesn't give a shit who those cookies are for.

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#20 Posted by zzzzombi (30 posts) -

Jeff actually baked the cookies himself, he said "Wait, Santa isn't real!" and offered the cookies to everyone in the crew including GB East.

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#21 Posted by dantez (67 posts) -

The butler did it.

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#22 Posted by chesme (18 posts) -

Happy holidays everyone and thank you all for posting! Let’s get on to the draws (per random.org):

#5 @FrodoBaggins

#21 @dantez

Congrats! I will DM you two shortly.

I really had to fight the urge to reply to everyone individually (I didn’t want to pad the numbers needlessly). Sorry I couldn't give everyone something, but I hope you had fun posting and reading all of the fun replies.

In case you are curious, my answer to the scenario is: everyone ate the cookies! Each person took one or two, until Vinny had the last one and felt bad, so he refilled the plate. Then the cycle began anew.

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#23 Posted by dantez (67 posts) -

@chesme I've thanked you privately, and I will now do so publicly. So very generous of you. Received, and redeemed gift code. Now very much looking forward to catching up on the premium content I missed out on over the past year or so (especially Mass Alex). Thanks again!

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#24 Posted by dantez (67 posts) -

Hey all. I have come to the conclusion that I will probably not use the $15 store code due to living outside the US. So happy to give it away to anyone who posted an answer, but did not win. First person to ask for it can have it.

If no one replies on this thread by next week, I'll just give it away in a separate post.